Am i normal? am i normal? a m i n o r m a l.

So. I write many posts about being shy and having no friends. Well im just sick of life. I am being to overthink everything, and don't even start me on worrying.
I worry that ill never meet anyone to love me, I want kids so badly one day but ive never even been with anyone? 21 and never had a boyfriend. Why? well in school I was bullied a lot and I stayed quiet, ive grown up in a rural area so I just didn't wanna be around people, I shut myself off, it was the same with college and everyone thought I was weird. I hate hate social situations but I have no one cause of it, an odd mate here and there but no one to go to the pub with and stuff like that.
Finding a boyfriend will be hard, I shy away from everything I am trying my best to be better, but I thought I'd just meet someone and click with them one day? or do I have to go out looking and dating? The thing is, its going to take me ages to be able to kiss and have more with them, even thinking about it makes me worry, unless it'll come naturally with the right guy? Otherwise I just feel tense.

My age, I should be out partying, had a few boyfriends and have some mates, I have none, my sister is 17 and goes out partying more than me, I just have no interest in it. I'd rather go to the gym, cinema, bowling, pub for a quiet one, to the theatre, but I cannot find people like me, im still childish, I don't wanna grow up, id rather play on my ps3 but I know or I feel I'll regret life, later on. Like I wont be able to tell my kids about all my drunken nights or what I did with mates. Im just horrible, I hate who I am.