Am i normal , or just going crazy ?

59% Normal
8 Comments

Okay, so I've been in a panic for 6 months. I had a panic attack and thought I was gay for a night because I had never reached an orgasm while having sex with a guy. I thought my vagina was broken or either I was a lesbian. I would only get a orgasm when I masterbate. Btw , I master bate to to straight and lesbian porn. Basically whatever seems interesting at my moment of horniness. But those are the two I enjoy the most. I've never had any feelings or crushes on girls or even imagined a life with one. I've always loved boys my whole life, I've always crushed on guys as well. In college I started hanging out with my friend who had recently came out to me, I loved her regardless of her orientation. I then decided that I would try thinking about a girl when my boyfriend ate me out, and It surprisingly it made me orgasm. That made me feel better because I thought I was broken... I did it a couple of more times, but that never changed the way I felt about men. But then my friends had a discussion nd one said that all girls were gay. After that I started freaking out, I'm like my whole life has been a lie, I thought I was straight my whole life loving guys and now I'm gay. I cried myself to sleep every night, broke up with my boyfriend even though I loved him dearly and quit my job. Now there's not a second of the day where I'm not analyzing my whole life, or paying close attention to everything I do and then my brain tells me, your gay, come out already ... It's so scary and sickening to think that I won't be able to get married to the man of my dreams or be loved by a man.... Had I known visioning girls eating me out would make me gay, I wouldn't have ever done it. I didn't know.. My life has not been the same. I've been depressed, I take sexual orientation quizzes every week.. I always think about it 24 seven. I've tried to except being lesbo but it just doesn't feel right. Like I don't wanna kiss girls, or be in love with them... Am I gay because I like lesbian porn , had 4 dreams of girls doing stuff to me... And imagined a girl giving me oral ?? Or do most girls experience this.. Or am I taking everything too seriously.

Voting Results
59% Normal
Based on 17 votes (10 yes)
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Comments ( 8 )
  • ardnaxela
    8 years ago

    I think you're taking other people's conversations too seriously.
    It's okay to prefer lesbian porn and that doesn't make you lesbian.
    If you cant even imagine yourself with a girl and you still feel like you're into men I think it all speaks for itself. Don't get into your head you are something you are not because someone else is trying to tell you who to be or what to like. Trust yourself a little more.
    And if you really were a lesbian which doesnt sound like the case... Don't pay much attention to what it can look like or what people may think. You do you.

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  • GrumbleCakes
    8 years ago

    It honestly sounds like you're straight, and you'r just psyching yourself out. Your orientation doesn't have much to do with what porn turns you on; because watching sex in general turns most people on. If you look around on the internet a lot of women talk about watching lesbian porn as a straighy woman; because it's more about women being pleasured, so it's easier to picture yourself being pleasured. Straight porn is pretty guy-centric on the other hand, rarely are we looking to watch a mushy lovie dovey sex seen. Guys like to see the parts they enjoy, raunchy hardcore banging, totally vulagr I know; but it's how we're hard coded. Straight porn caters to the mostly male audience of porn, while lebian porn caters to the more tender and gental tendencies of its female audience.
    As for orgasms I speak as a married straight male of course; but there is a lot of thought and work that goes into getting a woman to orgasm. Most guys don't put much research into it, ao either they just got lucoy and figured it out or they can't do the job at all. How do I know? Well women don't make it a secret when you know what you're doing, in a world of sexually challenged schmucks. If you decide to try men again then make sure the guy can communicate, ESPECIALLY DURING SEX. Asking "does this feel good" every few seconds might not seem romantic, but once he gets a feeling for finding your clitorus, g-spot and positions you like it will make things much better.

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  • Ellenna
    8 years ago

    Keep seeing the therapist

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  • Steve2.1
    8 years ago

    I am SO glad I'm asexual.

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  • sexysonofsam
    8 years ago

    Firstly I would like to suggest that when you write a post to remember to use proper grammar, punctuation and paragraphs...it is difficult to read a lot of rambling without it.

    Secondly you do not say whether you have indeed enjoyed the company of another woman in your bed?

    I suggest that you first find a female friend who is like minded and let her eat your little pussy until you reach an orgasm, then you in turn can reciprocate the favour!

    If you both enjoy the experience immensely you might reconsider whether or not you are indeed a lesbian!

    Having a label put on something does not make it right or wrong...neither does it make you a "lesbian" at all, for all you know you are a Bi-sexual human being like the vast majority of us!

    Live life to the fullest, you only get one chance at it!

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    • Ellenna
      8 years ago

      For someone prepared to make such a detailed criticism of another, you don't read too well, do you?

      OP's post makes it clear she already has a lesbian girlfriend and that's where this all started

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      • sexysonofsam
        8 years ago

        It might have been "clear" to you my friend, however as I stated without punctuation it is very difficult to read and understand exactly what she was rambling on about!

        If you had taken the trouble to "read" my answer, it would have been very clear to you!

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  • Lolowill96
    8 years ago

    Thank you so much. What you said is exactly what my parents , family and therapist said. In the past I have delt with obsessive thoughts and I went like 3-4 months thinking I was going to die, then another time I went like 2 months + thinking that I had cancer and MS. I just don't know what to do, it feels so terrible...

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