Am i normal?

75% Normal
6 Comments

Well Let me start off by saying I am a 20 year old male and I grew up with in a divorced family. My parents divorced when I was in high school. It was a very unpleasent sight. I am scheduled to get married in two months to my high school sweet heart. We have been together for almost four years. I am in the Army which makes my doubts hard on us. I am having a constant struggle with myself because of my doubts towards her. I find myself getting annoyed very easily and having negative thoughts towards her. I am very nervous about the wedding becuase I want to make sure I am making the right decision. Sometimes I find myself looking at other girls and wondering what if. I have only been sexually involved with her and only her. But when i look at other girls I feel guilty somethimes. Alot of the time my whole attitude with her changes when I am having a bad doubt day. Its hard to think positive and see all she does for me because the doubts are in the way. Am I normal for feeling this way? Does it mean I dont love her? And if it is normal how do I get over it?

Voting Results
75% Normal
Based on 55 votes (41 yes)
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Comments ( 6 )
  • Rumpranger39
    15 years ago

    It sounds to me like prewedding jitters, but you said the two of you have been together for four years. So the two of you got together when you were 16? 17? I guessing that you havn't seen a lot of action with other girls unless 15 year olds are getting more action than I know about. Now your wondering about all you might have missed. Get some help, don't get hitched until you have and are sure this is what you want. It's not fair to her to go through with it until you know.

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    • ajdd2005
      14 years ago

      Is it normal to have second guess this. I dont know why I am like this I feel like im not normal. Have you ever had doubts with a girl? Your right I have only been with her so I do wonder about what other girls are like do you think I could over come this?

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  • Miss_Anthrope
    12 years ago

    Sounds like you're having pre-wedding jitters, and you're trying to plan out your entire life with the expectation that you must have perfection.

    Some of your hesitation and doubt may be due to the fact that your own parents eventually divorced, and perhaps subconsciously, you're wondering if this will happen to you sooner or later, too, no matter what you do and how hard you try. That's a very normal and realistic perspective and consideration.

    I admire that you're giving so much thought to all these inherent issues and that you really are trying to be honest with yourself and do the right thing.

    If I could recommend anything, it would be to consult an "older, wiser" person (or even more than one person) that you trust, and talk (very honestly and truthfully) about your feelings, doubts, worries, and hopes. Don't hold back. See what they have to offer you in terms of insight and advice, and then reconsider your feelings. Go with your "gut" feeling and try not to second-guess yourself.

    Above all, remember that folks can only make decisions based on what they know at that moment. We all try to do what we think is right at the time, and that our choice will work out later on. Sometimes it does, but sometimes it doesn't. Your reservations are normal, so seek out some advice/insight from others and see if helps.

    In any case, best of luck to you and your lady friend. And, thank you for your service to your nation - it's appreciated!

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  • lalalinds
    14 years ago

    i wouldn't get married.
    i'm not saying to break up with her, though.
    i think you need to stay in the relationship, engaged for maybe a year or two more.
    it seems like a case where a few years into your marriage you would be more inclined to cheat...because those thoughts aren't going to go away.
    you should talk to her, and let her know how you feel.
    honesty is always the key, even if it hurts.
    but if she loves you, she will understand :)
    you're young, don't mess up your life.

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  • melvino
    15 years ago

    do whats right do what you think is right.dont get married if u hav too many doubts.imagine urself in the future(oh man what was i thinking).

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  • Jim_Pfoss
    15 years ago

    There's no point in getting married if you just don't want to.
    Imagine yourself in 10 years.
    Now imagine yourself in 10 years with half of your stuff.
    Do her a favor and cut her loose. Better a short, sharp shock than a lifetime of misery.

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