Am i less good now?

Since my teens I've been aroused may many different stories, and one of them being coercion. Blackmail, rape, seduction and corruption upon the coming of age. What I don't understand is I'm the exact opposite. I fear and loathe rape and harm of any kind. I quit reading such stories, and more and more find fantasies of equality and healthy pleasure more rewarding in the long run. But even now if I think about it, I can still feel arousal at the stories I read, and dreaming of healthy pleasure is hard to arouse me. I'm afraid. What is wrong with me? Why, after all these years is my conscience bothering me? Have all the years of reading aroused my shadowself and corrupted me? How can I help myself?