Am i justfied in feeling so terrible about myself?

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5 Comments

I'm 23. I have fucked up A LOT in life. I think part of self hatred comes from some of the things I have done in my life that I cannot forgive myself for. I am disgusted by myself in every single way possible. The problem is, I am not sure if I should hate myself for these things or not.

I just wanna tell a few things about my situation, and why I think I might be this way. Because it is hard.

Well... my mom is really cool but growing up and even now, my dad doesn't seem to give a FUCK about me. I find myself thinking like.... my own dad doesn't even want me, how could anyone else?

Also, my boyfriend has said things about my body, that hurt me so bad... It was almost a year ago and I still think about it everyday, and it still restricts me and kills my interest in sex. It seriously hurts so much cause I already know I'm not good enough of a person... To have someone tell me I'm not good enough physically either... it makes me feel like I have nothing. Seriously.

I don't understand why someone would insult my body, and tell me no one else would want me, and that I'm gross and stuff if they didn't feel that way. I could NEVER say those things to someone.

Is there any way they were said just to hurt me? (it worked, believe me). And why I am suffering some terribly over the words of a few men who are far from perfect themselves?

I feel like I have to stay with someone who mistreats me because nobody good will ever want me.

I just feel terrible. I cry every single day because I hate everything about myself. I try SO hard, and pray to be a good person,and good enough but I'm just not.

What do I do?

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39% Normal
Based on 23 votes (9 yes)
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Comments ( 5 )
  • 8Serene8
    13 years ago

    Those men are nothing but worthless assholes. Don't take what they said as the truth. Sounds to me that you need to surround yourself with decent people for once.

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  • disthing
    12 years ago

    I think you're dwelling on the past far too much, and on the opinions of others.

    Ultimately, the most important thing to you should be you. Which means you should love yourself above all others, and that means when your self esteem is low, or your dipping into that self-pity displayed here, you should recognise that it isn't constructive, that it doesn't help YOU. Compliment yourself, look at the things you're good at, the positive aspects of your appearance and your personality. Think about what you want to achieve in life, and think about the obstacles in your way, and how you can overcome them.

    If you're in relationships or around people who are negative towards you and don't aid your pursuit of happiness, have the courage to actively change your situation. Avoid those people, find friends who make you feel good about yourself. In other words, don't just sit on the stairs whimpering, stand up and give a fuck about yourself. Do it now!

    Pep talk.

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  • anya07
    13 years ago

    Dont cry and dont think you are bad.no one is perfect.everyone has advantages and disadvantages.Those men who have told you such things are just stupid people who dont understand anything in life just appearance and nothing else.Feel comfortable the way you are.Learn to lova and respect yourself.Dont try to change yourself.There are a lot of people who will appreciate you.

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  • Lockets
    13 years ago

    You are worth a lot more, believe me. The two men in your life that you mentioned here have issues/insecurity and they took it out on you. Be strong, you are better than them.
    Best wishes :)

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  • woodenbelle
    13 years ago

    I get what you're saying. I don't believe that others can love me either. I even have a whole speech on what to do accumulated from various self-help and alternative healing sources, but the truth is i don't have an answer. The only thing i can tell you is that no matter what no matter how lonely and miserable you feel there is also someone out there who feels exactly the same way you do. And if there are people like you now then there have been people like you in the past and they have gotten over it. Maybe they didn't even "figure it out" but at least there is hope and at least you're not alone.

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