Am i insane? how can i fix myself? please, i need advice

It's not normal that's for sure. Your violent tendencies are so far non-lethal but whose to say there wont be an accident or you won't escalate because the truth is your outbursts are unjust. It's not even like someone pissed you off. You're just..angry. I don't know what that means but to me you are dangerous. I do think you can get help though. I would look into what exactly is passable to a therapist before they put you away because it is my belief they can do it and you have to admit to a real crime before police ever get involved. And if that doesn't work out, then I'd pray.

I was self-destructive enough to try to give myself brain damage and it was only then I came to God but he did save me. Option is always on the table. Good luck.

The fact that you state you masturbated to violent thoughts or actions is very disturbing. We all have the beast inside of us and are capable of violence. But equating a sexual release with violence is bad. Serial killer bad. You need professional psychiatric help.

You may have some neurological problem. You should expose your problem to a psychologist specialized on anger behaviour. This assuming your not a krogan of course, cause if you were then it would be normal.

You need to get professional help with this before you kill someone. You've mentioned the possibility of seeing a shrink: what's stopping you?

Is there any chance that your a krogan who hasn't gone through his rite of passage?

You most certainly have a personality disorder, you need professional help before you hurt others.

Anyway, I have taken your advice. I made an appointment with a psychiatrist. Thank you for all your help. I almost did it again yesterday... that was my tipping point. I appreciate all your advice

get help, where you from uk usa !!!

I struggled with violence and anger most of my life and it's not easy . I think you need a paradigm shift , a new perspective on the world entirely and to be enlightened on things like empathy and compassion , strengthen your moral values . None of what you describe is normal by any means and could lead to a very dangerous path . I know you don't want the help but if you can't find the strength or resources to change alone , seek the help please , before more people are hurt or worse ............... dead . I still have issues with anger and violence is always an option when I am upset , it's usually my first thought regardless if I follow through or not . I take steps , I have a system in place , I shift my paradigm for the better . I am not perfected or changed completely but I have dramatically changed things and I think you should as well . I sometimes act on impulse and can be aggressive out of nowhere or on the drop of a dime but it becomes less and less over time , it gets better . The first step is identifying like you have and then making the move towards change and help .

That's "Intermittent Explosive Disorder"
Call a Doctor NOW, a Mental Health Specific facility if at all possible.
There are plenty of disorders this could be and only a qualified Doctor can help you.
Stop reading call a Hospital NOW.
If you don't have a car CALL 911 get an Ambulance tell them you are having impulse control problems, they'll take care of you.
This is about as serious as it gets.

Go get help!
Also maybe try to find healthy outlets for your bursts of anger. Like buying a big sack and beat the shit out of it on a regular basis.

i reads some stories like this here and am sad that theys prolly true

i acts on impulse sometimes too and it never ends well so all i can do is recommend gainst that

i hopes yalls straightened out soon cause thatall judge aint gonna give a fuck bout yalls feelins and ten years gonna be gone in stir

I don't see a problem at all.