Am i in the wrong relationship?

17% Normal
6 Comments

I have been with my bf for 3 yrs now. i am finding myself getting frustrated more often and resentful toward him. we had broken up before because he couldn't grow up. And I had to take care of him for everything. Ok, so good things about him first, he is handsome, nice, funny and loyal beyond belief. When I met him he didn't have a job. I had to go out of my way to bus it to his place. He never did that for me. After about a yr of that his mom helped him get an apt because their house got sold. So, he finally got a job. After they fired him at that job he didn't even try to look for one. I have been working since i was old enough. I am 25 now and he is 23. He has barely had 2 jobs. After he got fired that was it. He didn't try he lived off unemployment and i was always there with my car to buy groceries and furniture for his apt...After some time he got his job back at the same place that fired him cuase he was going to sue them. Then got fired from there again. So then I found my own place and moved out to a rented rm. His mom then took over his apt and kicked him out...so he came to live with me in my tiny bdrm and never once did he pay any rent and I would buy food for him and booze and clothes. And even a car once he got a new job.(Keep in mind I was working 3 jobs to support us.) A couple months ago we decided to get an apt. and by we..I mean me.. because I was the only one with the credit and finances to get approved. So got an apt he paid the first month half rent which i was very surprised. (He doesn't make much, but also won't try to find a high paying job.) So once again I pay for just about everything. Then my bday passed recently. What he got me was a xbox 1 for himself. Then at the celebration night with all my friends there he storms out on me while I'm at the bar. I spend my 25th bday not at my celebration but crying at home. The he doesn't even pay me half rent. And if i think back anything nice he has ever done for me or gotten me...I have gotten him better and then he asks to normally borrow the money back and never pays me back so it's like i just bought myself everything. Now i get that i make more than him. And it's not all about money. But also I buy him things he needs and he says he will pay me back.. like his $300 glasses, his car..just money he borrows. I Feel like he's just using me and I'm a sugar momma. I buy him his clothes and then i take him out to dinner. Oh and the great thing about his car is he doesn't even use it. He still insists on using my car to do trips to the grocery. I love him...like a lot this is the first time i have actually felt like I can say and mean that i love the. I have never had that or a normal relationship before. This is the closest I have ever had to a "normal relationship".

Voting Results
17% Normal
Based on 29 votes (5 yes)
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Comments ( 6 )
  • Darkoil
    9 years ago

    Kick him out until he turns his life around.

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  • Parky_Parker
    9 years ago

    You are in TWO wrong relationships. The relationship you have with yourself is more important than the one you have with another person.

    First, you need to work on being more assertive. If you keep allowing people to treat you like that, you will never move forward.

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  • lc1988
    9 years ago

    I didn't even read the story..if this is a question you have to ask, the answer is yes, it is wrong.

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  • MadameAM
    9 years ago

    No way. He sounds like he is freeloading off of you. You deserve way better than that. You deserve a real man.

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  • DubstepismyMJ
    9 years ago

    goodness... so many things wrong here. stop it. cut him lose. you're enabling him to be a slacker, and this is not good for your mental health.

    I have no clue why this is your closest "normal relationship" maybe you have bad taste in man, or you have very low standards, I have no clue, too many factors.

    but still, stop settling for less. if you're looking for a life partner, It might take time. so be patient and stop wasting you're time on this "boys", who clearly still have a lot of growing up to do.
    if you have to be single for awhile, that's fine. its not that bad.

    maybe they're the problem, maybe you are, I don't know. but I feel it would be great for you to work on yourself, on your life for now.

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  • modernism
    9 years ago

    Give him a warning. Like, a serious warning. Sit down and tell him how his actions make you feel and don't hold back. Let him know that if he doesn't change, you will leave and will not come back. But before you do this - you have to actually believe what you're potentially going to tell him. Build up the courage in the instance that he doesn't change and know that you won't have any second thoughts about leaving the relationship.

    Personally, I think the most worrying aspect is that he doesn't even care. There's a difference between a homeless guy (for example) with a passion and yearn for the future, and a homeless guy with no motivation. It would be a completely different story if he was willing to change and actually made the effort to do so.

    And since you said that you truly love him, the idea of leaving him might be a hard pill to swallow. But just think - if he really cared about the relationship, don't you think he would put an effort in fixing the apparent problems? Have you ever thought about why exactly he doesn't try?

    I'm not saying break up with him. Not at all. That is entirely up to you - considering I don't know the ins and outs of your partnership. All that I'm saying is that if you give him an obvious signal that the relationship could potentially end if he doesn't shape up, and he disregards it - the relationship will not lead to anywhere good.

    Hope this helped. :)

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