Am i going crazy?
Lately i've been living another life all in my head. The things i might say sound crazy; well to me atleast, but ive never tried putting what i feel into words. I feel like i don't live where i am. Like i don't exist in here. I mean i exist but i also don't . I'm aware its all in my head but its affecting my life. Like i used to imagine things before like any teenager; scenarios an such and then snap out of it and go back to my normal life, but now its like a whole new level. Its like i'm constantly living this life i have in my head; in the UK. It feels real. It feels like i'm there not here. I look at the streets but they don't feel like the streets of where i am, it feels like i'm there. And i'm constantly tjinking about it. Its not like i snap out of it or anything i'm just constatly living there. And its also not like i just imagine stuff i also act them out. I also acquired a british accent and i feel like i'm totally drifting away from reality and being to paranoid about it. I feel sad most of the time but my dreams make me feel kinda okay i guess. I avoided reality and i my actions even reflect that i infact do think that i live there. I learned everything about the UK and their life style. And i constantly dread my actual life. I feel like i'm slowly going insane. I feel more isolated than ever and the thought of me leaving my home terrifies me and makes me sick. I don't want to leave home. I used to love going out a couple months back but now i don't . I was in a long distance relationship with this guy from there and maybe i shared so much of his life and maybe he became my life that i started believing i lived there. We brokeup now but idk i keep imagining him being with me there and its like he never left. Its like i live a life with him sometimes and sometimes i'm alone doing normal things like shopping or something there. Idk am i normal; is this al normal or should i seek professional help?! All i ever do now is avoid society and slip into my thoughts whilst sitting on the balcony thinking i'm there not here. Its kinda making me feel like i'm mentally ill because its effecting my whole life basically. I don't have actual feelings for people in my life. I mean i like them but i like the people in my head more i guess. My routine in life makes me feel safe and carrying it out makes me feel like i'm living that life in my head.