Am i f'd up by not liking my girlfriends son/his father

Allllriightty then, this post is about 2 years past due. So beware, there may be a wall of text below. I'll try to be precise and chronological or logical at all. but here i am, is it normal that i have a major problem with my girlfriends son's or even father being involved?

So the very first thing is that i acknowledge there are post similar to my own, but their situation was their own, and mine is my own. Secondly, i understand the true options are either stay or leave. It is simple if you're looking at the equals sign. But below is the equation to be looked at beforehand. There are 5 sections below. Thank you.

Hmmm historic accuracy, ok. My GF, and i have been involved for about 4-5 years.I love her very much. we are in a long distance relationship, her son is 4. We first began talking and she was unaware she was pregnant at the time by her scumbag ex BF.

In our time together i've come to realize her son is a bit of a twat, he's spoiled, cries a like a sissy. now, he is young, but goodness! I think about a future with kids of our own, and i will not allow such behavior. is it messed up that i'd allow him to be whatever she lets him, but for my own kid i will not allow such behavior. As much as most of you may not like my comparison it was not the way i was raised, by a single mother of 2. Of which i am the first born, i take pride in that.

Now, he does have a good spirit, he's a happy kid, he genuinely loves me, its beautiful really. But i wish i had the same genuine feelings. i love his mother very much, but he demands too much of her attention for my liking. (perhaps that is selfish) But i simply dont remember being so needy. (No we're not the same). but the pampering and babying must stop.

There are certain things that bother me about her childs father, one is that he exists, yes that eff'd up. but seriously, i hate that her future is tied to this freaking loser. I hate that this perfect woman (to me) seems tarnished for me. (I know thats not fair). He walked away, i stayed not particularly as a father, but a potential father. And now he's F'n BACK!

I want to be with her, i do want to marry her. but i'm concerned about my outlook on this situation being detrimental to both of us, and unfortunately the child will be affected as well. I think about us having kids together but i can't see myself loving her son as much as i'd love my own (I hear that is normal). This is my daily struggle, i'm sure my decision would have been more swift if we were a tradition couple, but the time apart kind of delays certain lessons.

Thank you for reading i'd really like your insight. is it normal? Am i f'd up? I apologize if there are any butts hurt out there. That wasn't my intention, but my honesty may lead to healing. Thanks again.