Am i doing the right thing with my ex?

69% Normal
6 Comments

About a year ago my exboyfriend and I broke up. We had been living together and we fought all the time. He broke up with me and I was devastated but after a month we started hanging out and sleeping together. After awhile I realized we were not getting back together and that I wasn't that interested in him anymore but we still hung out and had sex. I started looking around. Recently I found someone I really like spending time with and before it got too serious (and it still hasn't) I decided to tell my ex we could no longer have sex. I still have feelings for him but I don't think we could ever live together again. He is acting like I lead him on. He is begging me to stay with him. Telling me he will fulfill all of my expectations in my relationship (kids, marriage, less anger) but I am just too excited about the possibility of a fresh relationship. I don't know that this other guy is the one but I am enjoying my time so much with him I want to try. Even if it is not I think that my ex and I should separate ourselves and find other people. He thinks I am the one for him. I still love him. I have very mixed feelings about the whole thing. Even if he did change, would it be right? Would it help? What I am really asking is what other people think about the situation. Am I doing the wrong thing? Am I a bad person? How do I know if I am making a mistake? He says he will wait for me and I told him not to. Please help!

Voting Results
69% Normal
Based on 42 votes (29 yes)
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Comments ( 6 )
  • [Old Memory]
    14 years ago

    Let him go with a good and clear conscious.

    This guy (your "ex") can't do anything right: he was a screw up to live with; couldn't break it off cleanly (the sex); and wants to screw you over emotionally and torpedo the new guy (potentially) in your life.

    The only thing you should feel bad about is being a door mat, & being made to feel guilty for nothing. You've been that for too long.

    Cut him out of your life. He is manipulative & bad news.

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  • water_girl
    13 years ago

    I went through this with my current boyfriend... We were on and off for about 6 years and he was a total a***ole, why I stuck around? I don't know... Once I told him I was seeing someone new he started begging me not to leave him and started kissing ass...once they realize they you are not going to take their crap it changes something. I ended up staying with him because he swore he was going to change... He did change A LOT... It's a really hard decision, but you need to to check exactly why you guys broke up and if losing the new guy is really worth it... The guy I was seeing liked me at the time but he wasn't ready to settle down or anything so that made it easy... Good luck and just remember everything happens for a reason good and bad

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  • littlegirl0
    14 years ago

    Your ex is using you.

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  • princesspea105
    14 years ago

    i think you are completely normal.
    lots of people get into these kinds of situations.
    if i were you i would get to know this new guy you met, and if you are not interested then give your ex a try.
    but if someone has hurt you and says they will change, just think:
    "change is sharder then it sounds."
    so dont get your hopes too high.
    but hang in there, youll find a way.

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  • combatgal856
    15 years ago

    Hmmm. I heard that going back to your ex is not a good idea, if you keep going back to him then how are you expecting to ever get over him. It's hard at first to keep away from him but that's what you're going to have to do if you want to prevent cheating on this new guy.

    I had a kind of ex that said he would wait for me, he says he did but how am I to know he also hasn't found people along the way. Or pehaps he just can't get enough of the sex, becasue with my 'ex thats waiting' he is always active when I see him and so we end up in the wrong situation

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  • dcadente
    15 years ago

    You're a human. It's normal if you have mixed feelings. Be selfish for once, and get your feelings clear. Tell you ''boyfriend'' that this whole thing has messed up your feelings a lot and you need to figure things out. You only think you can move on to this new fresh looking relationship because he's still there waiting for you, but realise that is this new relationship fails and your ex - love is not there for you, you will regret a great deal...
    It's all up to you, you only get to live on life have fun but don't mess it up.

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