Am i depressed?

4 Comments

My psychiatrist says I'm depressed but I don't relate to other people who have problems with depression.
I don't pity myself or complain about how bad I have it the way most depressed people do.
In fact I feel really good about myself. I'm intelligent, popular and talented. I seem to have it pretty good and don't have too many life problems other than things everyone has to deal with such as death and loss.

At the same time, I do feel very unsatisfied with the way things are. Not because of my problems but because of how awful the world can be.

I do feel out of place here, although I like the way I am. The only thing I could ask more for is to be somewhere I could relate to more people.

I'm not religious but I've always thought that if there is a such thing as a hell, that this dimension could very well be it. Perhaps this is a world where we incarnate for punishment. Sure there are great things life can offer as well, but the amount of possible suffering far surpasses and amount of pleasure anyone could ever experience.
I would hate to think there could be anywhere worse but in this universe, there likely is.

Anyways feeling this way does interfere with my production because it creates a realization of pointlessness. The biggest point of anything seems to try to make things not so bad here, but if that's the biggest point, what a disappointment. I often wonder if things would be better if there was nothing at all. I'm sure there are many people who would hope for that rather than be in the situation they are in.

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Comments ( 4 )
  • DubstepismyMJ
    10 years ago

    Theres so many ways to look at life and yours is pretty sad tbh. No offence.

    I see pain and suffering as something thats needed in life. It makes certain people stronger. It makes you more appreciative of things.
    The more pain a person experience the more compassionate a human being becomes. I think pain is needed for growth. And of course suffering can be a choice and some people truly are unlucky and dont have A choice. I see that.
    But at this time you mostly see the bad not the good things in life, i think thats your problem. You havent exactly experience the great things in life yet. me neither but i do know they can be pretty amazing and defies your logic of

    "...but the amount of possible suffering far surpasses and amount of pleasure anyone could ever experience"

    how do i know this you ask? By faith? Hah im not religious either.

    But because of my grandfather.
    I used to think the same way as you. But my grandfather had 3 cancer within him, he suffered for more than a year and died eventually. With so much pain everyday. I cant even begin to imagine what kind of suffering he had to go through. I pitied him. I asked myself if i was In the same situation i would probably want to kill myself already. But not him. He never gave up, ever. I did not fucking understand where he got such strength. Such will to live. He was quite an example, that there are things in life i have not felt yet, things i have not experience yet. thats worth suffering so much for.

    I know another who had hes whole family killed, dad mom and siblings killed . Watched them die. As a fucking kid. And now hes a fully grown adult with a family, and helping people as a marriage counsellor. He had every reason to find pointlessness in life but he eventually got over it, and still find happiness.
    As someone so talented, popular and intelligent, so gifted as you say, to still find pointless-ness. I think you dont have enough pain in your life. You obviously dont know how great you have it.

    Life is what you make of it.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      10 years ago

      Like I said, I don't think I have it that bad compared to a lot of other people. I have had some bad experiences, but I don't like when people complain because I see it as insulting to anyone who has it worse.
      I do personally know people who have had traumatic lives and they did not grow up to become stronger people. Most became very dysfunctional adults.
      Bad things have not helped me become better either. I have dealt with a lot of loss and death in the past couple years.
      At the same time I don't use these things as a reason to hold me back. They certainly do not help me grow but I would find it disrespectful to blame my problems on those things.
      I don't think I'm giving up. I am willing to make sacrifices and do what I need to. I've lost someone close to suicide and it's a contagious way to end things.
      Bad experiences haven't made me stronger but the fact that I don't give up does, even though all I feel is disappointment.

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      • DubstepismyMJ
        10 years ago

        I see thats reasonable. You seem smart and strong, i say just give it time. Theres gonna points in your life, where you think everything is crap. And vise versa. Just try to look at the positive.
        depression, its a state of mind, and feel like youve been sad in forever, and maybe even feel like youll never be happy again. Ive been depressed for a long time, i think i have a good understanding of it. Its a tunnel where you cant see happiness very well. You gotta realize its there, it exist, youve felt it before im sure of it, and cause of depression you cant see it or imagine it very well. But you will pass through this, i gurantee you that.

        This is one flaw about being an atheist, people who believe in god has a belief that god will take care of them, when things are going bad. That god works in mysterious ways, and has a plan for them. That god will take care of there love ones.

        And whats our belief as atheist when people die? Or when things go bad? Think about it. Is it as soothing as those who are religious. Probably not seens were not religious.

        Ive lost my twin a year ago. And than my grandpa.

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  • handsignals
    10 years ago

    Sounds like you just need a change in life, like a new hobby or something.

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