Am i being needy or is it normal?

51% Normal
38 Comments

I recently met a girl in a club.
I'm in my late 20s and her in her late teens (turning 20 to be exactly).
Creepy I know. This is the first normal or not.

We text daily and met up twice.
I told her some dark secret of mine and since then, felt she threw her cold shoulder on me. I confronted her about it and her reasoning is she's gonna have her exam soon and she's turning her social mode off and hibernating with her books.
I told her, she can text me when she's ready.
But i'm so damn crazy about her that i constantly look at her name on the phonebook (almost every 30mins when I'm alone!) and am so tempted to text her that i feel miserable.
I understand where she is coming from and determined to not contact her. Risking never to speak to her again.
Am i crazy and being needy or is this normal?

Voting Results
51% Normal
Based on 71 votes (36 yes)
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Comments ( 38 )
  • LittleMissy
    10 years ago | pl

    Um I can't really offer advice til I know what it is you told her.

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    • ChasingUnicorns
      10 years ago

      i told her i was away for the weekend for family errands and she guessed right. which was inheritance.
      and i basically told her it was circus and i snatch and grabbed as much as i could.
      it may seem not that bad but i guess for someone who place family at top priority, it is a scary side of me? maybe?
      or maybe she's just mad that i didn't say i missed her when she told me that.
      or maybe she just changed her mind?
      i'm sure she can't turn her 'social switch' on and off just like that right?
      afterall we are all humans!
      or am i just weak.

      hoho. this website is so cool.
      i can rant and say whatever i want without the fear of being judged.
      kudos isitnormal.com !!

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  • changes123
    10 years ago | pl

    Yes, you seem to be obsessed. Also, When a girl finds out that a guy is obsessed with her... he'll get the cold shoulder until he learns to back off. So don't confess you're strong undying love or anything. Unless you feel that she would return the feeling.

    You've lived your life before her, so it's not a matter of "if" you can move on.

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    • ChasingUnicorns
      10 years ago

      she's the second girl i am this obsessed with. (the first was a 3 year relationship)
      not proud. given the fact i hardly know her and the age gap.
      but she's so god damn pleasant to be around with.
      she did tell me she missed me when i was away for the weekend. which i just brushed off.

      totally not about a matter of 'if' i can move on.
      it's just so much things we spoke about doing together and i don't want to wake up just yet! FML!!

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      • Shackleford96
        10 years ago

        Some people are just talkers and when it comes to actually making the walk, they'd rather sit down.

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        • ChasingUnicorns
          10 years ago

          I am doing the walking.
          Walking along with a lot of bitching.
          Thank your isitnormal.com !!
          my friends would be so sick, tired and annoyed to hear me bitching about a 19year old whom I know for less than 2 weeks.
          haha

          Her exams will be over in 2weeks.
          Keep me in your prayer.
          Pray that she will come back.
          at least until we strike off all the items in our dates-to-have list.

          Thank you :)

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      • changes123
        10 years ago

        Hey, your feelings are your feelings. I have no right to tell you to "get over her." It's always easier said than done. :<

        This is coming from what I've learned, so in now way am I assuming that I know your relationship with her. Just know that sometimes, if you give someone a lot of attention, they will get creeped out. This might be going a little too fast for them... at the same time, Yes Ik, it sounds evil, but they might enjoy it. Enjoy having someone obsess over them, but treat them with no respect. Keep them on the cliff barely hanging.

        The best thing to do in a situation like this is to cut off contact and continue your life for yourself. I know damn well that if I really liked someone, I would communicate with them regardless of the situation. In the end, you decide when.

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  • Terence_the_viking
    10 years ago

    Obsession is a disease that kills the mind.

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  • starie
    10 years ago

    Both turning 20 doesn't mean anything and does not call for the comment: "creepy, i know". It isn't creepy, it's called being the same age.

    Secondly, you like her. It's normal to miss her and want to talk to her. That's not being needy, that's just really liking someone. The fact that you control yourself is good. You're putting her ahead of yourself.

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    • Short4Words
      10 years ago

      He is not turning 20 he's in his late 20's but I agree with you on the rest I think.

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      • starie
        10 years ago

        ah right! miss read xD the "creepy" part makes a little sense now lol could be worse though...

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      • ChasingUnicorns
        10 years ago

        haha.
        yes. in my late 20s.
        if it was just a few years difference, i would have called her up and pour my heart and not to isitnormal.com

        i'm guessing in your preception. late 20s dating turning 20 is creepy.
        thanks for the input.

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    • ChasingUnicorns
      10 years ago

      thank you for your kind words.

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  • Saycheese
    10 years ago

    Yes, I agree what you said that obsession is an addiction.

    I personally would just get out and do things you enjoy, be you. You need to love yourself. When people obsess over someone it normally means that they aren't themselves and don't have self-love.

    You most certainly don't want to end up controlling her. Love is about helping others, being kind and have a heart for them, which you can feel want they feel too; it's not controlling others. So do it for yourself too, love yourself. :)

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    • Disconnect
      10 years ago

      This ^

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  • handsignals
    10 years ago

    Whats the dark secret you told her. Didn't anyone think to ask that?

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  • Principessa607
    10 years ago

    As a girl myself, and just turning 20 myself, she may of just got turned off by you jumping in to tell a secret. theres nothing wrong with it but for me, i like when theres a little work trying to get a guy. I'm sorry I'm going to be very honest with you, but she doesn't seem interested and that is just an excuse. But that doesn't mean someone better will come along! just move on, don't text her or anything, and if she texts you. act normal like nothing has phased you! or don't even answer at first, that WILL drive a girl crazy

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    • ChasingUnicorns
      10 years ago

      thank you for being honest. I am starting to see things your way. she is simply not interested.

      I don't want to drive her crazy. I want to blow her away with all the amazing dates I myself desire.

      Agree that being mysterious does sugar coat things and make her want more. but that isn't me and won't be fun for me.

      laughing at how I relate my situation with this song
      Hello - Stafford Brothers, Lil Wayne and Christina Milan.

      feeling 16 again.
      it's such a good song.

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  • DangerousPotatoGuy
    10 years ago

    obsession is a disease

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    • ChasingUnicorns
      10 years ago

      i won't say it's a disease.
      it's an addiction to me.
      feels so good when all is going well and reciprocated.

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  • _Molotov_Cocktail_
    10 years ago

    You should incinerate her books with a good Molotov cocktail. That way you can talk as much as you like.
    "Molotov cocktails are the perfect solution to all problems."
    -Russian proverb

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    • ChasingUnicorns
      10 years ago

      Follow through with your advice and I will end up wearing striped uniform for the next few months if not years.
      They don't call teenage girls jailbait for no reason huh.
      (even when they are over 18) haha

      Maybe I'll just drink from the bottle instead.

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  • Disconnect
    10 years ago

    You shouldn't be so obsessed with her, if she's asking for some space, give her. The worst thing you can ever do is to put pressure on her.

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    • ChasingUnicorns
      10 years ago

      She's having all the space she wants.
      I'm just ranting and going on and on miles away from her.
      Omg. can't even go out and have fun without her being stuck behind my head.
      what a joke.

      i guess time to get some polishing work done!
      come TGIF. I'm ready!!

      this website is making me weirder and even more abnormal.

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  • yesnomaybeso
    10 years ago

    I'm 19 and I've used the "I have an exam I'm gonna study and have no friends for two weeks" excuse before when a guy I had met in a club would speak too much to me.

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    • yesnomaybeso
      10 years ago

      I mean she can be different but... What if she got scared when you told her that secret and decided it was better to stop talking to you, she obviously didn't want to hurt your feelings and she decided she would say she's busy. I mean, I've done that a few times. I just didn't want to hurt the guy because I had had fun but I realised I didn't want to see him again and I didn't know what to say.

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      • ChasingUnicorns
        10 years ago

        are you her? can you tell it's me?!
        I so hope this is sooo not true. I really can't figure out where I went wrong. What changed?
        sigh.
        thanks for the wake up call.
        for now, I'm hitting the snooze button.

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        • yesnomaybeso
          10 years ago

          Well the last time I did this was with a guy who was 25 (i'm 19) and 5 months ago, so I guess I'm not her ;) We were fine at first but then.. I kinda got scared of him. He was weird :s

          I also hope that's not true I wish it worked out for you :)

          I'd say don't talk to her too much if you see she doesn't reply.
          I hate that at least and I end up blocking the guy from my phone / fb.

          Tell me how it goes, good luck :)

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  • Monkeybutts
    10 years ago

    I will be very honest with you. Your normal but the girl is just not interested. If she was interested she would b as obsessed as you are. Both of you would b obsessed and the name for that is "the honey moon phase". If you just met her why would you tell her such secrets? Its important to always be yourself, are you always being urself? If that is the case then if she doesn't like you then you need to move on. Find someone else who will like you and that u can tell secrets too. Find the girl who won't give u the cold shoulder. There r billions of beautiful females in the world, u will be okay! P.S. delete her number out ur phone. It will save u a lot of heart break. I promise <3

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    • ChasingUnicorns
      10 years ago

      OMG!!
      is she really not interested? but we had so much fun!! stop convincing me otherwise!!
      am i really that delusional and naive?!
      need to listen to Hello - Stafford Brothers, Lil Wayne and Christina Milan more!!

      I am hoping she's a mature 19 turning 20 year old woman, who have so much control of her own life to know how to call timeout from my delusional 'honeymoon phase'.

      I told her the secret but I don't think she knows it's a secret because I make mention of it so casually.
      I might be wrong tho.

      Thank you. that's exactly what I'm trying to achieve. To be myself.

      Haha. you read me well. I really should delete her number. Except i have a lottery ticket with a potential to win 30million with her.

      She can break my heart but let's hope she share the ticket with me if we win it!!

      Or is this just another reason I am giving myself?
      *confused* - not really.

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  • mixwell
    10 years ago

    All I would've said from her reply is "hit me up when you find time."

    Actions speak louder than words so leave her alone until she contacts you. Either she's full of shit and can't tell you or it's legit. By texting her to often you seem insecure which at your age you should know this shit already.....

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    • ChasingUnicorns
      10 years ago

      uh huh.
      That was exactly what I did when she told me she has this social mode mechanism.
      obviously I'm doubting her when i can see her being on her social app from time to time.
      secretly hoping she's waiting for me to message her.
      now that's not normal!! lol

      thank you for reminding me the insecurity issue.
      well aware I'm radiating insecurity and neediness.
      but hey, that's who I am and it's won't be fun for me if I'm pretending to be a cool 27year old man.
      and if she doesn't like this true version of me.
      it will only get worst for both of us later on.
      better now then later. i guess.
      (consoling my poor self)

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  • Paradiddle
    10 years ago

    This sounds fine with me. You seem to like her and after you told her whatever that secret was, she seemed to get distant. Not quite sure what it is but you don't sound like an evil person so it couldn't have been that bad, perhaps. Still, as a person who has had the unfortunate and lame arse experience of a girl who used exams as a reason to talk to me less and eventually break up, I can understand the worry. There was clearly another reason but hey, its cool.

    Still, I know exams are important but it surely would be nice to hear from her. She doesn't have to though because you two aren't together yet and she is probably still trying her best for the exams. If you continue to let her have her peace and she knows your worth, she'll definitely make an effort after her exams.

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    • ChasingUnicorns
      10 years ago

      that's what I'm counting on.

      But either way, it sucks.
      her hanging out with me, makes me morally guilty and her not hanging out with me makes me miss her.

      irony of life.
      mehhh

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  • EccentricWeird
    10 years ago

    When a gentleman needs his pole polished, he needs his pole polished. What can I say.

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    • ChasingUnicorns
      10 years ago

      thumbs down to this.
      i'm very capable of doing my own polishing.
      my scale is sitting at morally wrong for her to take on that responsibility (for now at least).
      may change in the future.
      we'll see.
      and that's the other normal bit.
      omgg. thinking about this. so wrong in so many ways.
      but it feels soo good.

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      • EccentricWeird
        10 years ago

        Let the evil flow through you...

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  • TaterXD
    10 years ago

    Hey... I'd hate to be the annoying one but I need help so I will anyways.
    Answer my INN? Please? Thanks(/

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