Am i being mean

64% Normal
3 Comments

So I am 26 and my fiance is 39 he has two children from his first marriage a 10 year old girl and 13 year old boy. Right away i got along great with the kids but than I got pregant things changed a little with the girl being mad and jealous but I kept reasurring her she would still have her daddy ect. Well we had a healthy baby girl and I have become so possesive of her. I dont know if it is just my instincts to protect her bc the 10 year girl still says things like she isnt allowed to do the sports she does ect. The 10 year old gets really angry if i buy my baby anything just lots of jealousy so I dont like it when she is all nice and playful with my daughter like she is a doll. The 13 year old boy is always nice so I never have a problem with him. Is it just my mothers instint to protect my baby the reason I dont like the girl to play with my daughter. I want to be a good mom and stepmom

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64% Normal
Based on 42 votes (27 yes)
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Comments ( 3 )
  • [Old Memory]
    14 years ago

    Yes you can be a good mom to both. Be fair to the 10 year old in the sense of empathizing with her a bit more and being less defensive. These are big happy and stressful changes in your family. Help her by allowing her to participate in the care of the baby with you where you can gently show her things as big sister and share some common ground in the joy of that care together. And do spend some special time together with the 10 year old that she had before baby came.

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  • kaylap
    14 years ago

    Be very careful in this situation, she may not really mean any harm to your baby but at the same time a girl of her age wouldn't realize the consequences of her actions to the baby. I wouldn't leave them alone together. But don't treat the 10 year old with too much suspicion, she may just be a jealous little girl. Give her her special time too.

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  • SamuraiPeeper
    14 years ago

    Be very careful how you treat your step-daughter. She's young, and I really don't think she would ever want to hurt your baby, even if she is a little jealous right now. You are an adult in a very powerful position over her; you may have it in your power to ruin her childhood, or at least make it very, very difficult. Treating her differently or with contempt or mistrust could seriously harm her. I mean, even if you're just a little mean to her or treat her different somehow, that could really have a strong impact on her, even if you don't realize it.

    Understand, this could be a very difficult adjustment for her-she's not daddy's only little girl now. It's your job to relax and treat her right. Even though she's not your child you have a parent's obligation to her.

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