Am i being inconsiderate

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1 Comment

My family used to always meet up on Sunday's and with that whenever someone had a birthday they would always celebrate it the following Sunday with everyone there.
From around age 10 or 11 the Sunday meet ups stopped and whenever a birthday came by we would individually organise meeting up for everyone's birthday but this would happen for everyone except for me. The one time we tried for my 16th birthday we ended up in a food court celebrating the selling of my grandparents house instead.
We didn't celebrate it again until my 18th birthday which was then pushed together with my two other cousins birthday and we all just celebrated it together and the only person who really acknowledged it was my 18th was my 10 year old cousin.
Now it's my 20th and my mum had come to me and said we are having a party for me because my aunty is sending my cousins down from QLD and they want my cousins to go to a family meet up so we may as we'll celebrate my birthday. I got a little excited because while they do call me and say happy birthday on my birthday, we never really celebrate a birthday for me. Then I get told we are also celebrating my other two cousins birthdays on the same day and that its fine like it's not a big deal.

I feel so incredibly bratty for feeling this way especially because I'm the oldest out of all of the kids in the family, like a 20 year old complaining about family not celebrating my birthday on my own.
But I can't help but feel this way. The only person I tell is my boyfriend because I couldn't bear complaining to my family but I know when I have my kids, I will make sure their birthdays are never overshadowed. I want to make sure they are celebrated.

Is it normal to feel this way? I feel like the worst person ever

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70% Normal
Based on 20 votes (14 yes)
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Comments ( 1 )
  • NormaLeeSane
    7 years ago

    Unless you said something to give your family the idea that you don't want to celebrate your birthday, then it's normal to feel left out if they celebrate everything else in the world, and only occasionally throw your birthday in as an afterthought, since they're celebrating something else at that time anyway. That does seem kind of crappy to me.

    I'm one of those people who never celebrates my birthday, and my family understands that being center stage would only make me feel incredibly uncomfortable. Are you the same way, by any chance? Is it possible that they really want to celebrate your birthday, but don't want you to feel uncomfortable about it, and only pretend that you're not the primary reason for the get-together, without realizing how that makes you feel?

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