Am i being abused by my father?

Yes you are being abused. Explain why you can't call CPS.

I've gone through similar things. My dad does all the stuff yours does, except for the "disownment" thing. He has disowned two of his kids (me and my older brother, by saying we mean nothing to him and we aren't even his kids), but not in a way where he says to hide their existance.

Oh yeah, that's abuse all right. My own father was physically and emotionally abusive and CPS didn't help me, either - things just got worse. In the end, I was homeless at 16. It was better than being at home. If I hadn't left, he would have killed me in one of his rages, or I would have killed myself. He had me so convinced that I was stupid and useless, that when I took a standardised IQ test with a psychologist, I initially didn't believe her when the results came back that I had a Mensa-level IQ. So don't buy into any bullshit about you being worthless, even if you've heard it forever and can't believe otherwise. You are precious.

It's a shame I don't know where you are. If you were in Australia, I could point you in the right direction. There are services here that can help you to help yourself and get out of that environment.

Just remember that this is about him, not you. Regardless of what's behind this behaviour, it's NOT your fault. Also, about the self-harm. I don't know what sort of person you are, but I'm the sort who decided, "Screw you! I will NOT let you beat me!" - and to my way of thinking, self-mutilation, drinking alcohol and other such risky behaviour was out of the question, since it would be an outward indicator than I was in pain, and I simply refused to let that show. So if that works for you, use it, because in years to come the scars will still be there, making it harder to move on in the long run - not to mention the health risks now, such as tetanus and other infections.

Let me know if you want to email or anything. Just wish there was more I could do to help you. Good luck!

OMG!!! I went through the same thing!! My dad used to abuse me like this, too. The only reason I didn't report him is because my mom was unemployed and I had nowhere else to go. I ended up moving out when I graduated high school. I've been through a lot of counseling and currently taking meds. But, the pain of the past (my dad) has still not gone away. I hope time can heal what we've been through!!

He may not be hurting you physically but this is definately abuse. He's crippling you emotionally and causing you to take things out on yourself. It isn't healthy. Why are you unable to get outside help? Fear of his reaction?

It's abuse. I went through the same and stopped seeing my father 10 years ago. 3 years ago I called it out - I named it abuse. That was when I was able to start moving on with my life. He died a few months ago and all it did for me was give me closure. I'm a skinhead biker who loves punk rock so admitting psychological abuse was totally against my lifestyle and peer group. I had to deal with it in a different space to the rest of my life, but I still had to deal with it. Best of luck x

Secretly call DCFS that's terrible

You should to to a specialist and then show them your arm. That is not normal and it is a sign that he is abusing you so much that even you are abusing yourself by intentionally mutilating you. Be careful and go as soon as possible to a specialist and tell him the whole story, he or she should be able to give you the help you deserve.

Honey, Get help!
You are being abused, Your life could be in danger. my father was the same until I moved and my mother was present but didn't do anything about it, You are getting to be emotionally scarred and you need help! please reach out to a teacher or councilor, I am serious this made me cry and so sad. I have been in your shoes I moved 1000 miles away from my family and am still strugglign in my relationships fromt he emotional damage I have endeavored, Please Please talk to somebody. please. I am here for you if you need to talk. I understand and know what you are going through. I wondered the same thing until one night I told someone and she was crying and told me not to be the victim anymore and I wasn't you need to help yourself .

Tough call,

ushould beat him up side the head and say i hate u and treat me better or i will call the cops jkjkjk u probly should not do that or he might kill u

you are most definitely being emotionally abused! @emoscut123 , "suck it up, you know your dad loves you" what the hell? this is not something to just suck up and forget about! Even though if her dad is stressed that does not give him any right to throw things at her and tell her she's worthless "He screams at me constantly and tells me that I ruin his life and implies that I'm worthless" that does not sound like a loving father. I'm sorry, your dad needs some serious help & so do you sweetie.

you are being psychologically and emotionally abused. talk to a counselor, even if you question yourself. if you dont get help, it will warp you and abuse can be cycled through our own children. this is definitely abuse.

Stop burning your arm. i think its abused. Even not physicaly its still abuse. Go get help.

Run away and take your little sister with you at a local women's shelter like the YWCA or a church.

My dad tormented me when I was little, and well he still kinda does, but anyways, he's always telling me I'm worthless and yelling at me for the tiniest things, and I think the fact that Im the oldest doesn't help either, and I always bottled it up, and now I have emotional problems, but my bf is helping me overcome my problems, and I think you just need someone to talk to about it, but without telling your dad... I hope you find someone that can help you like I did

My mother all the way i lost my dad when i was eight and she wasnt quite right before that well it deffinetly didnt get better when he passed im sorry just hang in there and focus on your future do it for u graduate go to college make a good life for u do not leave or forget about ur dad for good just pick urself up and be strong u have to be quit hurting urself as well i understand that first hand too but its not worth it love ur Dad but know he has his own problems he takes out on u not ok but he is ur father try not to stress too much just occupy ur time with constructiveness Good Luck

I wanna beat the living shit out of your dad.
You are being abused and it's gotta stop.
Stop burning your arm

Stop burning yourself. It will just hurt you more, and it he hits you there, it will HURT! Seroisly, you can get seroius medical problems from doing that. Anyways, your dad is emotionally abusing you. You need to talk to someone without letting him know. This is serious and you can't let it keep happening to you! You deserve much better than that. Talk to someone, a family member, a friend, anyone you know you can trust. I'm so sorry that this is happening to you.

That is definitely emotional abuse and you need to talk to someone about it, and your dad needs help too. If your mom is around tell her, or an aunt, uncle, teacher, guidance counselor, parent of a friend...any adult you feel you can trust.

You need to be treated better then u are right now... U need to go and talk to someone about him

You are being emotionally abused, please get some outside support asap. I don't doubt that your dad loves you very much, but for whatever reason he is unable to support you the way you need.. You need to find that support somewhere else.

These are common symptoms of a previous TBI (traumatic brain injury). Has he ever hit his head, car accident, etc?

Not normal at all. Call an anonymous teen help line or the guidance counselor at school. It will only get worse.

call the cops on him, u dont deserve to be treated that way!

I'm so sorry for the position you're in. It seems like for this to really be resolved you're going to have to make a big decision. If you want to be away from him you'll have to be really strong and cut ties. Would talking to your big sister help her to understand? If not is there a chance of refuge at the sister he disowned? Again, i'm so sorry.

Omg your explanation of what happened after you called CPS is very close to what happened to me! Nothing was resolved and his exact words were, "tell the truth". Would you mind sharing your email? Maybe we can chat over IM sometime. We are going thru the same thing with our dads!

CPS is out of the question because one time he got really angry at me for refusing to take my adhd medicine (which I thought I was having an allergic reaction to at the time, which is why refused) and started hitting me with bags and things and knocking over things in my room.

I wasn't physically hurt but I was extremely shaken up and I started crying when I got to school. My boyfriend took me to the dean of students and explained what happened. I said I was afraid to go home. She called CPS and I tried to arrange for me to stay with a friend but he picked me up anyway and guilt-tripped me over it for like a week.

He acted like I had lied about everything and really he was the victim. He told me to "tell the truth" that nothing happened, and that I wasn't afraid to be around him. I couldn't, because it wasn't the truth. Later that night my older sister (the one that he didn't disown) called me and screamed at me, saying I was disgusting. I don't know what he told her I did.

The entire ordeal with CPS was very painful and nothing got resolved. They told us to get counseling, but it never happened because he fears therapy for some reason. I remember feeling depressed and suicidal for weeks afterwards, perhaps months. It just seemed like a bunch of unnecessary drama that didn't help anything. I don't want to put myself through all of it again.

My mom is the same way. It's tough. Hang in there and just move out as soon as you are old enough.

Youre being abused. If he has back and forth episodes he may be bipolar or doing drugs. Possibly another mental disorder that hes sheltering you from.

Doesnt seem bad to me :\