Am i bad person and using my friends?

39% Normal
6 Comments

i suffer from social phobia. i cant even open up with my family memmbers. i have been trying hard to become sociable and have friends. i think i am unemotional and have no feelings. i dont know. might be i just got this assumption because of social phobia. i used to think people wont like me as a friend when they come to know about my weakness. so i used to pretend and i made friends also. but i never felt secure. i could never trust anybody properly. i never trusted myself also. i always felt like i was a hideous man. i was afraid of what would happen if they came to know about the real me.
but when i met them after some years, i felt insecure and started avoiding them.
i feel like i have used people. i feel very guilty and my mind has blocked away from people even more. when i meet some friends, who i still have, i feel embarassed and very low to even talk properly. i have lost even the little confidence that i used to have. is it normal? thanks

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39% Normal
Based on 33 votes (13 yes)
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Comments ( 6 )
  • GhostGuy764
    12 years ago

    I am in the exact same boat

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  • sunoy14
    13 years ago

    thanks

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  • sarahig
    13 years ago

    your description of yourself reminds me of a schizoid personality disorder.. except for one thing..
    you have a conscience.. you are actually aware that you aren't being too good.

    im not saying you have SPD tho...
    just some traits.
    thats just the way you are
    you should embrace yourself.
    someday somebody that accepts you for you are will come along and you wont have to worry about being fake

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  • littlemissunderstood
    13 years ago

    If you use you friends in that you hang around them because they make you feel better - whether you enjoy their company, want to feel normal, or whatever, then there is nothing wrong with that. That is the nature of all relationships. However, if you use your friends in that you exploit them for your own gains in ways that are damaging to them then that may be a little despicable, yes, because that hurts.
    About 1% of people are sociopaths, that is they are emotionless and do not care about other people. That said, THERE IS NO WAY YOU ARE A SOCIOPATH. It is very clear that you feel remorse and guilt....for something. Perhaps it would help if you told us what. But in any case, you probably aren't doing anyone any favours by loathing yourself for whatever it is. Learn from your mistakes. Don't repeat them. That is all you can do. That is all anyone can do. That is more than most people do. If you didn't actually do anything and have only thought about it, then we all have pretty horrid thoughts, but it's those that we act on that count, so no worries.
    I would also like to address how you feel like you cannot trust anyone, I feel like you can't relate to them either, no? That is also normal. Right now, I personally have no one to confide in but my mother who gives horrid advice, and a friend who I don't think really wants to hear about my shit and would probably judge me anyway - because that's just what people do. Trust takes time to build. Some people automatically feel comfortable around other people automatically, but for people like you and I it takes time to build trust and it can be very lonely while your in that process. Maybe talk to a psychologist? You can trust them because they have almost certainly heard worse and your relationship with them is very nonpersonal and confidential.

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  • [Old Memory]
    13 years ago

    Be yourself always, and if that's not good enough for others, then fuck'em - they are not worth the effort.

    Don't be so bold to assume that you can control whether people like you or not. If you make a new friend, don't assume that they will end up not liking you - let them make that decision for themselves, instead of you making it for them. And, try not to hold yourself up the the friendship standards of others or even what you see on TV, everyone is unique and so are you.

    You seem like a considerate person, it's obvious from the diction and syntax of your writing. I doubt that you are so despicable that you are unworthy of friendship.

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  • [Old Memory]
    13 years ago

    oh you poor thing. just remember friends do use each other all the time, its give and take. maybe join clubs and foster interests. maybe meet people on the web, i dont do it but it sounds good because you do lots of chatting and getting to know each other before you meet.

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