Am i a sex addict?
I genuinely want to know because I have a feeling people are too nice to say it to my face... (yes this is completely serious)
I started kind of masturbating when I was young, I didn't know what I was doing,, but i didn't really think it was wrong. I then discovered straight porn when I was 12,,, I think this is where my sexual journey began. I would frequently watch videos and look at pictures and I thought it was interesting, and it turned me on. Then age 13 I started watching girl on girl stuff - when I started thinking I was bisexual.
Anyway when I was 13 I had sex for the first time - with a guy. And it felt cool, I enjoyed the feeling, even thought I wasn't attached to the guy (I think this is important because usually when teens lose their virginity I think they form a special bond with each other). This wasn't the case for me, all I wanted was the pleasure and that was it. After the first time it became a semi-regular thing at my school. Word got out that I did it and soon lots of guys were wanting the same thing, with me. I could sugar coat it and say I didn't do much, but i did. Oral and intercourse, with many guys. When I was 15 was when I started it with girls, when other girls were discovering the world of lady on lady stuff. I enjoyed it as much as I did guys. It created the same sort of feelings, but still I had no attachment to my partners, some of us stayed friends tho...
Throughout my youth, sex was the most prominent thing in my life. I even journalled about it, and me flipping through my old writing prompted me to write this. And no, I wasn't trashy or anything, I had good grades, respected my parents, teachers and my peers. on the outside I seemed like a regular teenager but in reality I was doing a bunch of freaky shit...
Now I'm 20 and I still have a lot of regular sex with lots of people. People my age and some middle age men. I'm very lucky I haven't contracted an STD or became pregnant. Only once have I actually had a real relationship, with a guy I actually cared a lot about. He was kind and we actually connected on a soul level. He was aware of some of the stuff I did but I was a little embarrassed to tell him everything in full, so I kept it a secret for the time. (I'm sure he knew more than I let on because people talk). I wouldn't say I was in love with him, but pretty damn close. We ended up breaking up but I'm not getting into that. I should mention that I never cheated on him or ever thought of doing so - I think that's kinda disgusting -
I know word gets around about me, I've lived in the same community pretty much my whole life and I'm not dumb.
People treat me well, I'm always kind to everybody, but sometimes I think about the things they say behind my back, calling me a whore or a slut, maybe I am, but I don't really think it matters. If I could change my adolescence I would, but there's really no point in dwelling on the past, because theres nothing I can do about it. The decisions I made were my decisions and I went into everything with enthusiasm. But I always question myself, am I an actual sex addict? I'm not sure if I fit the exact criteria, and I know nobody on this website can possibly know everything about me, but I told the whole story, so judging from everything I said,
Tell me, do you think I have a problem?
| No | 21 | |
| Yes | 13 |