Am i a psycopath?

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I don't know what's wrong with me. I think I match a lot of the "traits and signs" of narcissism here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Narcissism, but I am the the opposite of the "seven sins" listed right below them. I hate myself, have a terrible inferiority complex/imposter syndrome, feel that I have way more than I deserve, and I'm reluctant to ask anyone for anything.

I just cried for an hour and a half (can psychopaths cry?) over the sense that none of my friends would ever ask me to be in their wedding party - that is - that none of my friends consider me a close friend. If I invert it though, I don't know that I consider many of the same to be close friends. I want them to be my friends, but I don't see them as such. Do I unconsciously expect more than I give?
I feel an obligation rather than an emotional attachment. I think that's true of most of my relationships. I love my mother and my fiance because they love me. I don't know that I'm sure what it means to love them otherwise. Everything I 'feel' feels like a chess game, like it's a mechanical response to stimulus and not something secret and internal and human. It makes me feel like some kind of unfeeling psychopath, and yet I'm incredibly depressed and I don't think I fit any of the other characteristics (e.g. aggression, ambition, lying, manipulation, criminality, etc.). Am I some specific breed of psychopath? Is there something else to describe someone who just doesn't 'feel' but who wishes he could? WTF?

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Based on 25 votes (10 yes)
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Comments ( 7 )
  • [Old Memory]
    10 years ago

    Half of this is saying you care about things, then saying you are "unfeeling"...No, I wouldn't say you're a psychopath.

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  • Riddler
    10 years ago

    I fit many of the narcissist traits as well. However I am not selfish enough. I will give everyone a gift on every holiday and not forget a single person. If I forget someone I feel like I have failed. So I am a failure.

    It is my duty as these peoples family as a friend to not forget them on holidays. I think you are suffering from emotional detachment possibly.

    That you might not see things like other people and so you feel like you are alone. You do not see the world emotionally but mechanically.

    Also I have to say this hard to read since your thoughts were scattered. I know your upset but it would be easier if you you organized your thoughts better.

    There is one other thing. I not sure if it makes any difference but its a personality test. It says that some people like INTJ are just incredibly logical. You might try that. http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/jtypes2.asp Schools sometimes use this to figure out what field you should pursue.

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    • Dywiann
      10 years ago

      Yeah i think too that the personality type could be the reason... Im intp and witness the story above everyday...

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  • [Old Memory]
    10 years ago

    I'm similar in a way. I'm not very emotional but I can care about others. I don't understand much how emotions work. I do have some emotions but they seem different from what other people describe. I don't feel them but I think them, and I will quickly forget what it's like. The world seems like a simulation to me. I don't understand why people are so emotional or why they have so much need for their feelings. I've learned to accept that I will probably never understand anyone.
    At the same time I try to do good things and am nice to people and can care about them. I doubt I'm psychopathic because if I was I probably wouldn't care about anyone. I have been diagnosed with quite a few other things though, aspergers, adhd/dyslexia, schizoaffective or schizotypal pd. and there are several other things that could cause someone to be unemotional.

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  • biaj
    10 years ago

    you dont seem like your rly living much. u dont love someone because they love you you love them because they make you feel special u dont seem like a psychopath people like that dont think there is anything wrong with them. u seem like your just going through the motions rather than living a fulfilling life. reiterate your choices and gauge your friends. i feel like if you dont spend much time with them you might not like them either, weird interpretation.

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  • lara2221
    10 years ago

    No its normal I think you are a very caring person and take relationship very seriouslyeven your friends but people now days are not like that they are mean and all they care about is themselves and take others for granted specially people who care for them there is nothing wrong with you if somebody is wrong its your friends

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  • TheManagement
    STAFF
    10 years ago

    Give this a listen, I think it will make you feel better:
    http://www.thisamericanlife.org/radio-archives/episode/436/the-psychopath-test

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