Am i a god?

America will be last country to switch to Euro. Three big earthquakes will shake the three superpowers; 1st big earthquake in Russia; 2nd (bigger one) in China; 3rd (biggest of the three) will be in America. NATO will nuke Ukraine to blame Russia for it; then NATO will nuke Russia from Scandinavia. China will attack Russia; but will not get past Ural Mountains; bio-genetic weapon will be used against Chinese soldiers (they will run back to China and hide in closets in fear) and weather weapon will freeze Siberia to - 200 Celcius; stadium-size chunks of unmeltable ice will fall from the lower sky (because when rockets go into higher sky they bring this ice down to lower sky). Russia will destroy Turkey and America. China will have a hole across the whole country to the abyss (because of another super weapon used to stop Chinese aggression); radiation from this hole will be massive; Chinese will try to keep quiet about it; a lot of people will fall into this hole. Scientists don't see dinosaurs because of radiation. Only Eurasia and Alaska (both without coasts) will remain after demons blow up Antarctica (which surrounds the flat earth) and Greenland melts. Move to Ural Mountains or inland Alaska. Sionists wanted war between Russia and Germany from June 11th to October 11th on their holidays because (666 times 3)+(6 times 3) = 2016 (in their twisted logic). Tube people = demons. Clones = demons. Human costumes that demons wear = demons. Dinosaurs and 666ed people have triple stranded DNA; normal person can't swallow 666ed food (designed for 666ed people). Demons live inside clones. Bacteriologist Alexandre Yersin (who discovered Bubonic plague) is depicted on the Shroud of Turin. There is another shroud (Shroud of Milan) on which blasphemer Yosef (who was crucified on a pole in 1066 AD) is depicted. Menachem Mendel Schneerson, Lenin (el=deity in Hebrew, nine = no in German; so, when chanted repeatedly is blasphemy against the Creator), and Yosef were possessed by Azazel; now, Rico Cortes is possessed by Azazel. WW3 happens; 7% of people will be left; after people are tired of war, they will elect the antichrist as one world leader; don't vote. ISIS stands for Israeli Secret Intelligence Service. Next false flag: Statue of Liberty in order to attack Iran; one big shake, one giant step forward, one giant collapse. Move away from coasts as nukes will go off in the ocean (at where tectonic plates meet; result: megatsunamis 1km high). Wear natural clothing so that if a bomb goes off it won't stick to the body as fast as synthetic clothes. All metal will be burned for fuel; so, save knives, crowbars, shovels, wood-burning stoves, etc. Also, save cloth/fabric/textile to cover the wounds and diseases. Eat natural food because nanochips, cells of aborted fetuses, bug DNA, and other poisons are in food that is commonly sold; reject vaccines, medical care, medicine, etc. because nanochips are administered thru IVs, implants, fillings, etc. If 1000-1500 nanochips are in your right hand, then you can't make proper Orthodox sign of the cross with the right hand; last mercy for you then will be to cut the hand off. Seraphim of Sarov and Sergiy of Radonezh will be resurrected after WW3 for a short time; Seraphim of Sarov will show the new Ruski Tsar who will fight the antichrist for about 2 years and 8 months. Those who go see Seraphim of Sarov will be healed of their infirmities/illnesses/sicknesses/ diseases; if you want to see him then, hurry because he won't stay longer than a few weeks. Earth is flat; stands on 3 pillars (the Most Holy Trinity); pillars stand on water at zero Kelvin. Zodiac is planetary prison of demons; don't believe in horoscopes or you'll exhibit the traits of the trapped demons. Most thoughts and dreams are from demons; demons never do good. Sleep fully clothed; pray the Jesus prayer. Pray to your guardian angel to have normal sleep. Humans were created about 7525 years ago. Ruski Orthodox Christian Vyacheslav Krasheninnikov was the last prophet before Enoch and Elijah return to preach against the antichrist. Birds participate in time creation. It's a sin to kill birds. Dinosaurs live under our level. They will get out through sinkholes and lakes. To kill them, go for their nerves. Save the birds; but kill the dinosaurs. First dinosaur will come out of Volga River in Russia. Demons grow human skin (from a sample taken during abduction) and put it on so as to look like us. Demons will invite people to be healed inside their UFOs; those who go will be like zombies after. Gov't provides demons with diamonds and allows demons to abduct people. If you're being abducted, slowly pray the Jesus prayer.
Don't panic. Demons use diamonds and souls to power their UFO craft. The bigger the diamond, the more it lasts. Demons have 4 UFO bases: 1)Moon 2)Inside fake mountain Kailash in Tibet 3)In lake Baikal in Russia 4)In Atlantis which is underneath the Mariana Trench in Pacific Ocean. There are no aliens. Nobody lives on other planets. Airplanes that go down are hit by demons because they need the airspace to fight Jesus. Antichrist is pale with red eyes. He's possessed by Satan since he's 12 years old. He flies very fast; deceived people will say that "Christ is here; Christ is there". Sometimes, he wears blue robe over left shoulder while red robe is underneath. He wears gloves to hide long nails. He's surrounded by demons who appear as angels of light. Antichrist will trick people to believe that he can do mountain moving and resurrection (using holograms); fire from the sky is easy (considering the gases from pollution in the atmosphere). Don't go into a UFO to be healed by demons. Green 666 is given by isotope rays on wrist or forehead when people stretch hands to receive small plastic grey card with no name on it (World Passport). Police will microchip and isotope ray people on the highways. Microchipped people will be influenced by computers to take grey plastic card; but when they do,

If I were to be a god, I wouldn't be Rat-God... I would be Pornstar-God. people who want saving can suck my peace pipe of awesomeness and it will bless them with the Milk Of Magnificence. It also comes in 2% low fat.
Men who drink from my peace pipe of awesomeness will gain an extra 2.5 inches in penis size. Women will obtain a tiny little elf that sits atop their shoulder and tells them that they do not look fat in those jeans.
I will single-third-leggedly bring peace to the planet by ridding the sexes of their insecurities and by nuking Korea. Coz fuck Korea.

I will be your Messiah. I will make you taste the freshness. I can be your hero. Baby.

And I won't have a holy book. It will be available in dvd format. For I am your saviour of misbehaviour.

What drugs are you on?

Read the bible and repent for your blasphemy! Forgives is found in Jesus! Take it.

You are not god. I am god.

true, i found it on yahoo answers and thought it was mildly amusing.

If you're gonna play God can I play the role of a Wyandotte Chicken with super strength that can do income taxes for people at the fair price of 6 easy payments of $49.99?