Am i a bad person for being like this?

27 Comments

Between the ages of 4-11, I grew up with a person with serious cerebal palsy. So serious he can't breathe properly sometimes. He is wheelchair bound, sometimes cannot control his movements, he can speak but a person who does not know him would not be able to make sense of him, his hearing and sight isn't amazing either.

Am I a bad person when I say he annoys me? I remember once when we were growing up, he got excited, grabbed my arm and flung it around which nearly dislocated it. He once did a poo in his pants and it smelt so bad, I was sick in front of the whole class.

Ten years later he adds me on facebook. He doesn't really have any social norms so he posts on my wall, and other girls, messages such as you are sexy and I need a girlfriend. People wonder who the hell he is and why he says such things. He says the same things to me in private messages. He can hold an adult conversation for about 30 seconds then out of nowhere he'll send me a picture of a coin operated ride or of a tween disney star and say this is awesome!

is it normal he annoys me? Or am I a bad person because he is disabled?

Yes 48
No 45
Other (comment) 3
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Comments ( 27 )
  • howaminotmyself
    11 years ago

    It's okay to be annoyed, but be annoyed because of how difficult it must be to have Cerebral Palsy. It makes you sound petty to complain about their facebook comments and bowel control.

    I have a cousin (in-law) with Cerebral Palsy and she can't attend school. And using a computer is too much of a physical challenge for her. It's hard to watch her get frustrated over the inability to communicate. Yes, people get annoyed with the situation, but we are never annoyed with her.

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    • shuggy-chan
      11 years ago

      Im sending u pictures of Hanna Montana on a fire truck ride now

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      • howaminotmyself
        11 years ago

        Is this your way of telling me that you ride the short bus?

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        • shuggy-chan
          11 years ago

          Frank and Beans! Frank and Beans! =)

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      • Anonymous Post Author
        11 years ago

        I genuinely did just laugh out loud.

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  • shade_ilmaendu
    11 years ago

    It's one thing to find someone annoying based on personality traits, though you've gotta realise he's probably socially awkward because people are too busy judging him to try to be friends with him.

    But to dislike him because of things directly related to his disability, circumstances that he can't help? There's a kid in my marching band, nicest guy in the world but he has a less severe case of CP. Point being he sometimes walks with braces and crutches, which I'm sure is difficult. Half the band stopped talking to him one day because he shit his pants, can you imagine how he felt about that? I guarantee you a hell of a lot worse than someone who just had to walk past.

    I think you need more empathy in your life.

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    • NocturnePonyFan
      11 years ago

      I hate when people think you should walk on eggshells to love and tolerate disabled people. As long as the OP isn't deliberately hurting the person, or acting on his/her dislike of the person, what's so wrong with disliking him?

      PS empathy is highly overrated.

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      • shade_ilmaendu
        11 years ago

        the human animal is a beautiful and terrible creature, capable of limitless compassion and unfathomable cruelty. If you wish to find that which becomes the dividing line betwenn mankind and other biological classifications, it rests not in brain size, dominance, or even emotional capability, but rather in the unique capacity for human beings to reflect on their actions, and show regret; It is most certainly their ability to empathize that gives them their position. All animals understand love and affection, but only man shows the propensity to place himself into the shoes of another life form. losing that capability, among individuals of the species, reduces them from their much heralded position and readies the climate for the likely fall of man; The fall from grace.

        If you see it as a matter of "walking on eggshells to tolerate someone" then I really don't even know what to say to you. It shouldn't be an effort to tolerate someone who's essentially a good person outside of being disabled. Don't bend over backwards to them, but don't be a dick either. You can hate someone for being an asshole, you can dislike someone for doing something fucked up. But to judge someone based on the circumstances of their birth? Seems to me like you're forgetting your humanity. The world would be a much better place if we all just gave a shit about each other a little bit more.

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        • NocturnePonyFan
          11 years ago

          Yeah, you all can go give a shit about each other. I really don't see anything beneficial in it.
          Go step on a lego.

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  • SangoNyappy
    11 years ago

    I can't vote because I don't know if "yes" means you're bad person or if it's normal but anyways I don't think you're bad person and most of people would be irritated too. I've been always feeling sorry for those people but they can get really annoying.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      11 years ago

      I know, I realised I messed up my post but it was too late to edit it. May delete it because it really annoys me when I mess up a post!

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  • fluffypuff16
    11 years ago

    There's nothing wrong with the fact that he annoys you, but you need to think about him in this case; given that he was always so sick, he probably didn't have too much of a social life and so probably wasn't able to learn the social norms for himself, at least not as quickly as you or i may have. Its not your fault, but its not his either.

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  • noid
    11 years ago

    This is the second post about this guy unless I read this twice, but pretty sure it wasn't worded the same. So you aren't the only one he's annoying and who is questioning themselves about their response to his behavior. Normal.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      11 years ago

      Yes, it's the second. But since this post, it has got a lot worse.

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  • lizieralizard
    11 years ago

    Its normal to not know how to receive someone like that, but save being annoyed for someone who deserves it. just b grateful u are healthy and move on.

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  • boston12
    11 years ago

    regardless of disability anyone can be irritated by anyone else its human nature. it doesnt make u a bad person.

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  • [Old Memory]
    11 years ago

    Guy hates on person with cerebal palsy who's trying to make friends...

    Wonders if that makes him a bad person?...

    I'm almost positive you're going to hell.

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    • NocturnePonyFan
      11 years ago

      You're an idiot. How is he "hating on" this kid? He's irritated. There is NOTHING wrong with that. You all are way too sensitive.

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      • [Old Memory]
        11 years ago

        You however have a gullibility causing perplexion when confronted by sarcasm.

        But in all seriousness if you know someones handicapped then you know that's how they are. So being "irritated" is retarded in itself, just a wasted emotion. It's like punching yourself in the face and wondering why it hurt.

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        • NocturnePonyFan
          11 years ago

          Sorry, I just know there are people who would say something like that and not be sarcastic about it...there are a lot of "omg you better love errrrvrybodeh"-kinda people on this site.

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          • [Old Memory]
            11 years ago

            I don't think anyone at IIN would say Tommy is one of those people....

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            • NocturnePonyFan
              11 years ago

              Okie dokie. Fair 'nuff :-)

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          • [Old Memory]
            11 years ago

            You do have a point with the mindless PC nonsense that does tend to run rampant at times on this website. That being said, something someone cant help at all, that so negatively effects their interactions like CP would, does deserve sympathy, being bestest of best friends? no, but sympathy none the less.

            I also genuinely respect your negativity at times, if only because most of the time its the truth, which people cant handle so they cope by calling it "being negative".

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            • NocturnePonyFan
              11 years ago

              Oh, I agree that someone with a disability deserves sympathy. It's just, to say it's bad to feel irritated by some behaviours (regardless of if the disabled person can or can't help it) kind of irritates me :-P Just like someone can't help if they have little quirks or something created by their disability, sometimes we can't help when we feel irritated. I guess I should say...it's only normal to feel irritated by behaviours. It's human nature. It just becomes a matter of being able to overcome the irritation, I guess. I have no idea if I am making sense...little sleep and medications have really wonked me out today XD

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  • [Old Memory]
    11 years ago

    i don't find non of this funny because it sounds like the guy can't help it the way he is what if you where that guy would you want other people laughing at you or making fun of you

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