Am i a bad person

83% Normal
33 Comments

I had a very werid moment with a close friend.

Me her and her boyfriend who is a very good friend of mine hang out a lot since middle school.

We hang in the same circles and never had any problems but recently we were hanging out and drinking and she was all over me and her boyfriend was right there.

Her boyfriend didn't think much of it because she was drink and I didn't think much of it either.

About two days after that I went over to their place and he was out me and her chilled for a bit and smoked and she came on to me again.

I didn't do anything thing and told her I didn't want to it got awkward after that she apologized but I try to stay away from her when her boyfriend isn't around.

Worse part about it she is really attractive and a part of me wanted to but it felt wrong dose this make me a bad person for wanting to fuck my friends girlfriend?

They have been with each other as long as I can remember they don't fight so I don't get why she wanted to cheat on him and with me of all people.

I haven't said anything to him about it because I don't want to start any drama.

Voting Results
83% Normal
Based on 29 votes (24 yes)
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Comments ( 33 )
  • Boojum
    5 years ago

    Don't beat yourself up over your feelings and desires. We don't have much control over those. What we are responsible for is whether we act on our feelings and desires.

    Even though your inhibitions were impaired by alcohol and pot (I assume that's what you mean when you say you smoked), you recognised that even though you wanted to do something, it wasn't right, so you refrained from responding and you politely told her to back off. I think that suggests you're someone with a strong moral compass, and that's a good thing.

    As for why she did this, the obvious answer is that she finds you at least a little sexually attractive and you were available. Maybe in her head, sex with you wouldn't _really_ be cheating since you're both women. Maybe her sex life with her boyfriend is really crap at the moment for some reason, and she was just feeling horny. Maybe the two of them have been fantasising about a threesome with you, and the plan was for him to return and find you and her getting it on, at which point he'd join in.

    There's probably no way you'll ever know the truth of what was going through her head, so there's no point agonising about it. All you can do is what you're already doing: make it a point to try to avoid situations where she can make a move on you again.

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    • KiwiWisdom
      5 years ago

      There is actually a way to know what she was thinking. You just have to have a conversation and ask her what she was thinking. Speculation is fine, but talking works much better. You don't want things to get bad between you and your friends obviously, but since you don't know the situation it's hard to determine what that means. Kudos too for flexing your moral compass.

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      • TheBlindInquisitor
        5 years ago

        The best thing I can do is just avoid being around her when he isn't there.

        I would like to tell him but it would just make things more complicated.

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    • TheBlindInquisitor
      5 years ago

      I'm male but I get what you mean.

      It's just the fact she choice me.

      Also I wouldn't say I have a strong moral compass but I do have standards and there are things even I won't do.

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      • RoseIsabella
        5 years ago

        You sound like your moral compass is pointing due North, good on you!

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      • Boojum
        5 years ago

        Apologies for getting your gender wrong.

        I think you maybe are suffering from low self-esteem. The woman clearly finds you attractive enough to hit on you twice, so she obviously likes something about you.

        From what you say in another reply, it appears that she's annoyed that you're now actively avoiding being alone with her, so that suggests it's more than a casual interest which she can blame on pot or drugs.

        Oh, and by the way, if the guy is your primary friend and you know her only through him, you might give some serious thought to letting him know what happened. It's a sticky situation, but if she's doing this with you, she might be doing it with other guys, and friends generally give friends a heads-up about this sort of stuff.

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        • TheBlindInquisitor
          5 years ago

          I known both of them for a equal amount of time.

          And as I said I really don't want the drama I would like to tell him but drama is something I really don't want to be the center of.

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          • Boojum
            5 years ago

            That's completely understandable, and your decision to avoid her is very sensible.

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  • Enderluke007
    5 years ago

    You are not a bad person because you want to fuck her, you’re a good person because you didn’t.

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  • redeyez7
    5 years ago

    I would respect my friend and not want his girl to cheat on him. you would like the same right for yourself ? ask yourself that question.

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    • TheBlindInquisitor
      5 years ago

      I don't that's why I didn't do it but the fact that a part of me wanted to is what makes me feel like crap.

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  • nikkiclaire
    5 years ago

    Alcohol and drugs lower inhibitions and affect libido. Since you were using or drinking the two times it happened I'd say that played a role.

    Dont drink or use with her and it probably won't happen. No need to report this to your friend.

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    • TheBlindInquisitor
      5 years ago

      I don't intend to drink around her again like i said I don't want to deal with her if he isn't around which she is kind of mad about.

      Because she thinks because she apologized that it didn't happen.

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  • Iszzy123
    5 years ago

    Tell ur friend what’s going on try to get some evidence too don’t let her kill with you and ur friend have. You have been friends for a long time don’t let this sum get between a good friendship

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    • TheBlindInquisitor
      5 years ago

      Both are good friends but as it is now it's very complicated.

      On one hand I could see that telling him would be a good thing on the other hand it would creat a lot of problems.

      I am really pissed at her for causing this problem.

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      • Iszzy123
        5 years ago

        Yes get mad how dare she try to make you pick between your guy friend or her I say catch her out side how bout dat

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  • Nickvey
    5 years ago

    if your guy friend gave you the ok would you do it

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    • TheBlindInquisitor
      5 years ago

      What kind of guy would be ok with letting his girlfriend fuck around.

      That would either make him a cuck or a pimp and I don't like either of those prospects.

      I am into a lot of things but I have limits to what I would do.

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      • Nickvey
        5 years ago

        the kind of guy that wants to suck your cock and swallow your sperm. i didnt think they were very common either, turns out a lot of guys enjoyed the gay sex they had as kids so much they miss it. i had gay sex but i never sucked a cock so fucking pussy was even better than ass. you are probably the same right. but then you go turning down pussy. what kind of guy turns down pussy? oh right you have limits. suppose he said ill let you fuck her brains out if i can suck you off. how awful would that really be? id do it to get at that pussy . i would pull out of some beautiful woman right now and shoot a load down my friends mouth if it meant i got some great tasting pussy . you dont have to turn queer you know.

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        • TheBlindInquisitor
          5 years ago

          He isn't gay and I am not gay so that's a werid way of looking at it.

          While I do find her attractive I wouldn't do what your suggesting even if he offered her up.

          It's bad enough that it got werid with her doing what she did but he did that I wouldn't deal with either of them.

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  • lordofopinions
    5 years ago

    She sounds like a classic bisexual. I would bet the farm you're not the first female she has hit on or she feels safe hitting on you since you are such long time friends.

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    • TheBlindInquisitor
      5 years ago

      I am male.

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      • lordofopinions
        5 years ago

        Oh......well that changes things dramatically! In that case I would take her aside and lower the boom. You are flattered that she considers you a love/sex interest but her boyfriend and you are good buds and if she tries anything like that again you'll have to out her to your friend. That should hopefully cool her jets

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  • RoseIsabella
    5 years ago

    She was drink, huh? What kinda drink was she? Was the glass half empty, or half full?

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    • TheBlindInquisitor
      5 years ago

      Meant to say drunk but when her boyfriend was there the first time she was very drunk.

      The second time when it was me and her she wasnt drunk when I came but she built up to it she was drunk but was aware of what she was doing.

      As I said I didn't go through with it but a part of me really wanted to and I feel really about it.

      If she tried to do that with me it's possible she could be fucking around with other people behind his back.

      That pisses me off because if she dosent want to be with him why not call it off rather then cheat.

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      • nikkiclaire
        5 years ago

        It doesn't make you a bad person at all for wanting to succumb. It makes you caring for not.

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        • RoseIsabella
          5 years ago

          Yeah, people want to do all sorts of things, but it's what they actually end up doing that really matters.

          Sometimes I wish I could rob a bank.

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          • TheBlindInquisitor
            5 years ago

            True.

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        • TheBlindInquisitor
          5 years ago

          I am aware that humans have urges but I feel really bad about it.

          There are many things I would do but there are a lot of things that I won't do meanly sleeping with another mans woman.

          It's beyond disrespectful and is disgusting.

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      • RoseIsabella
        5 years ago

        Yeah, she's probably not a good match for your friend.

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        • TheBlindInquisitor
          5 years ago

          I do kind of feel that might be the case because the fact that she did what she did is just fucked up.

          And the fact that she is acting like it wasn't a big deal and expect me to just stop being mean to her what ever that childish logic means.

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          • RoseIsabella
            5 years ago

            Have you told your friend what a skank she is?

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            • TheBlindInquisitor
              5 years ago

              No but I tell her I don't feel comfortable around her and that she makes me sick.

              The fact that she thinks I am in the wrong for pointing that out shows that she is a childish asshole.

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