Alone in a group.

73% Normal
14 Comments

I think I'm loosing my mind a little. I've always had an issue with paranoia (it runs in the family) but it's social based paranoia (I don't fear for my safety, only that people are talking behind my back, or feeling certain ways about me).
Whenever a friend gives me any form of compliment or suggests that I'm a nice person, it causes me immense levels of guilt. As an example, a friend of mine once said to me "Mate, I love having you as a friend, I'd hate to loose you." And my response was such great guilt that I threw up.
I'm explaining this as a background, because recently, I've been feeling alone. Desperately alone. I've been with a group of at least 5/6 people every evening for weeks to try to shake the feeling, but I still feel alone. Only one person can stop me feeling alone, and I've not really known him all that long.
My point is, bearing in mind the paranoia and the guilt, is it normal to feel so desperately alone, even in a group?

Voting Results
73% Normal
Based on 41 votes (30 yes)
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Comments ( 14 )
  • Energy
    11 years ago

    I feel the same way. I'm paranoid socially and not socially. Everytime I hang out with a lot of people... I'm always the quiete one. I feel alone and awkward. I'm trying to change that though.

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    • Tonberry
      11 years ago

      How are you going about trying to change that? I'd love to know, might be worth doing myself.

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      • Energy
        11 years ago

        Nothing special. Just force myself to be more outgoing.... If you pretend to be something for enough time..you become it.. And it'll just come to you naturally. :) Problem is...now no one wants to hang out with me LOL.

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        • Tonberry
          11 years ago

          Wear a mask for too long and it'll become your face, I know.
          Problem is, I am outgoing, and I do have plenty of friends, all of whom I trust and love very deeply, but over this last year or so, being with those very people still feels kind of lonely. Almost like I'm in a bubble, and I could scream out for help and no-one would be there, even though I love and trust these people, and I know they'd do their best to help me.... Sounds stupid I know, but I'm having difficulty explaining it.

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  • Sanko
    11 years ago

    Hah.. same here. And i also have only one person that makes that feeling go away. And I'm the same for that person too.
    And thats certainly not love it's something else like to call our self's - soul sisters.
    I don't think that it's something abnormal it just your state of - soul/body/feelings (whatever you want to call it)

    P.S. i think i made this comment to make myself feel better. I such a selfish person *giggles*

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  • Anime7
    11 years ago

    You could be in a huge crowd and still feel alone. I've felt this way before and I know I'm not the only one. Although the part about vomiting doesn't sound normal. My suggestion would be to try and get to know the people around you. If you're in a crowd among friends, then I don't think you'd feel so alone.

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    • Tonberry
      11 years ago

      I do know the people I'm with quite well. It doesn't seem to make a difference, but I'll try a little more.

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      • Anime7
        11 years ago

        Well, I hope that eventually you can be more comfortable around people. And I'm really sorry that you feel this way.

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  • Latecia
    11 years ago

    Then you should learn how to trust people again.

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    • Tonberry
      11 years ago

      Thanks. I've been giving it my all, and trust hasn't been an issue for years. I trust all of my friends with my life =)

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  • Latecia
    11 years ago

    Have you ever been bullied at school?

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    • Tonberry
      11 years ago

      I was bullied throughout school. From my first year, right until my second to last year of school, which was when I started to make some of the first friends I've ever really trusted.

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  • lufa
    11 years ago

    There was a time I was in a very bad state in my life-pretty much rock bottom. I even thought my relationship was over with all my friends. So I can somewhat relate to how you feel. In my case it passed, I mended bridges and things went back to normal.

    You should have a core group of friends that you can rely on, but others in case you lose those. But seems to me from what you described, your friends like you-so I'm not sure what you're feeling guilty about. You'd have to elaborate more.

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    • Tonberry
      11 years ago

      I have no reason to feel guilty, but when a person tells me something nice, there's just a stomach full of guilt. I have no idea why, only that it's taken me years to start to enjoy people being nice to me.

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