Alone

Is my life going to be like this where people take me as a joke and just play me.

I am a bar tender at the moment and its a nice job, but people who come into the bar, just start taking a mickey out of my manner. As I am polite and know when to use my p's and q's.

Its even come to a point where the other bar staff just take my wages and make up things so that they gain money from it. To the point where they say that a licking ass to the owner of the bar. I have no real friends and from the last blog you will see that its been on going. Simply put I? am alone and its time of the year I? feel it most, as I long for companionship communication and just being "normal".

Why do I fear that, I am going to regret my life and just die, without anyone even noticing. Today will be a test as well as going to help my cheating ex with legal matters and she will want something as well, possibily cash once again or something else doing, that she cannot get round to doing.

I so want a job that I like and people to like me with a bonus of a relationship with a woman that I can relate to and share with.

As today even cleaning my place was a chore not a reward and no communication from anyone but my ex(she already has a another man her life).

is this a form normal?