Afraid of being gay?

78% Normal
15 Comments

So I'm 20 and have always identified as a straight guy growing up. Always liked girls, watched straight/lesbian porn, pretty normal I guess. I've never been sexually active, not for lack of trying although I made out with this girl last year and really liked it, although I was pretty nervous the whole time.

Anyway, all of my relationships with girls fail. I think I have avoidant personality disorder or something. I just never have the guts to ask the girl out.

I also suffer from anxiety. It gets worse in the winter (ie now) and I get occasional panic attacks about stuff. Usually I think I have some disease or mental disorder and it freaks me out for awhile.

Well for the last couple of weeks I've had like no sex drive. I wouldn't say that I have trouble masturbating but it takes me longer than usual I guess. It's like I'm just not as aroused by things which have always turned me on.

The other week I was hanging out with some buddies and we'd had a few drinks and i got it into my head that this guy had a thing for me. And it freaked me out because I had no idea how to deal with it and I started wondering how I would handle it if he confronted me about it, and I started wondering if I would ultimately go along with it.

Well this triggered an anxious episode and it bugged me for a few days but I made peace with it and came to the conclusion that it was a crazy thought and wrote it off to the anxiety.

Now if I see a male in a porn or something and I think it turns me on I get really freaked out though. Like panic attack freaked out.

My fears are basically that I've just been repressing my homosexuality all of my life, and that it's all been a lie. Then there's the fear of being ostracized if I am gay, of not accepting myself, etc.

I've never really questioned my sexuality like this, and I've never really been freaked out by the possibility that I might be gay. But now I am losing sleep over it and it's really concerning me. Is this just normal questioning of sexuality or is it indicative of something else? Thanks and sorry for the long post.

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78% Normal
Based on 186 votes (146 yes)
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Comments ( 15 )
  • [Old Memory]
    13 years ago | pl

    I've never seen such a paranoid rant before. You need to RELAX, right now!
    Tell your doctor about your anxiety. You don't have to tell them about your paranoia over possibly becoming a homosexual, just that anxiety is overwhelming you. Your anxiety seems to be a larger problem for you than your confusion about your sexuality.

    By the way, you sound like a heterosexual male to me.

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    • nanimeow
      13 years ago

      I like your user name:D

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  • Omega-Claws
    13 years ago

    Lol you aren't gay but your paranoid

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  • DannyKanes
    13 years ago

    I don't think your gay. Being that the thought, of being gay, freaks you out.

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  • BoredGuy
    13 years ago

    Just your mind questioning things about yourself. I really don't think you are actually gay or bi or anything. Just relax nothing of this you said sound like a big deal.

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  • nagasonavimana
    12 years ago

    What you have, dear sir, is hypochondria. It's a deadly disease that affects stereotypes of Jews, mousy post goth (read: emo) kids, and New England grandparents.

    Understand that you, being male, can stick your dick in anything and get a jolt of pleasure out of it. Don't worry so much about labels, focus on becoming a cool cat.

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  • Benny4Jesus
    12 years ago

    Romans 1:18-32
    Nature shows it plainly that homosexuality is not designed. Statistics show it plainly that homosexuality is not healthy. Homosexuals show it plainly that it is not beneficial to society.
    Wisdom shows us what is plain, the real problem is people want to do what they want to do, even when it is wrong. It's been going on since the beginning of time.
    The last verse here says that "they know the judgement of God." Everyone has been given a basic scale in the heart to measure right and wrong. Even if we were to "omit" homosexuality out of the equation, everyone would still be caught by their own words and found guilty of doing wrong. Doing good deeds do not erase the wrongs we have done, they only cover them up. The problem here is, heaven is heaven because everyone there is sin-free. The only hope for us all is to have our sins completely forgiven rather than covered up. And Jesus is the only One who can do this.

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  • Melodioushands
    13 years ago

    You need to relax. Werther you bi straight or gay your still you and it changes almost nothing except who you date. Just chill. If a guy asks you out just say no or if you want to say yes. Dont make a big deal out of it. And dont hurt the gay people cuz your dealing with your stuff(aka dont bully them).

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      13 years ago

      Yeah it's definitely not something I would take out as aggression against homosexuals. I've always been very accepting of all sexual orientations which is why I find it strange that the possibility of being gay makes me so upset.

      Anyway, I learned about something called Homosexual OCD which is something I think I have. It's purely obsessional, ie I don't have any rituals or anything, and I've displayed similar symptoms with other subjects in the past. Over the past couple of days I've learned to accept it but I still might bring it up to my doctor next time I see him.

      Thanks for the comments guys.

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  • Terence_the_viking
    11 years ago

    Stop being GAY about being GAY and go and be GAY

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  • Neapolitana
    11 years ago

    I think some anti-anxiety meds could REALLY improve your quality of life. I urge you to find a therapist or psychiatrist, where you can explain all of your racing thoughts. It does not sound like you are gay, but it does sound like you are compulsive.

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  • PassionFlower
    13 years ago

    You just need to chill out. Being gay wouldn't even be that serious to have full on panic attacks about.. meditate or do something calming, you seem like you're a lot more nervous about things than you should be

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  • ohhotdamashh
    13 years ago

    No, I don't believe that your gay. I think your just having some trouble in your life right now.

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  • Sillygoose
    11 years ago

    Please die.

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    • 777electric
      11 years ago

      Lol.

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