Advice please switching from many partners to one.

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11 Comments

I need some help. I am a 20 year old male who in the past has never had any real monogamous relationship. We have liked eachother but made it clear that we still can fuck whoever else we want. Heading into my thrid year of college in a few weeks, I am planning on pursuing a momogamous relationship for the first time. Not like tryna get married and shit, but one sexual partner. The reason for this is I want more consistent sex and also I want to have more kinky sex and I plan to disclose that I am a kinkster early on and I already know one chick who is kinky and single that I could go for. So what advice would you have for a young male like myself in switching from multiple partners to a single partner?

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67% Normal
Based on 3 votes (2 yes)
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Comments ( 11 )
  • SmokeEverything
    4 years ago

    Monogamy is for nerds and people who can't pull out in time.

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    • Doesnormalmatter
      4 years ago

      Well I am the opposite of a nerd. I lift weights in my free time and don't like wearing clothes. And why assume everyone who has multiple partners uses the pull out method? Heard of condoms? Birth control?

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      • SmokeEverything
        4 years ago

        I mean they can't pull out in time so they wind up with a baby and then feel like they have to stay with the person. Condoms make sex bad birth control is expensive and can cause health complications and lifting weights is EXTREMELY dork normie behavior unless youre still in high school.

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  • [Old Memory]
    4 years ago

    What cupcake says. And if you don’t have romantic feelings for her which I assume you don’t cause you seem immune to it then make sure she knows that. Sounds like you want a fwb but to keep it between just her? Then again you mention you both talk about fucking others too.

    Make it known you want her for just sex. You don’t want her falling for you then you cheating on her and hurting her. As long as you make it known what you are in this for then I don’t think it’s bad to give it a try.

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    • Doesnormalmatter
      4 years ago

      Yeah I hope I develop some more romantic feelings because I'm a little tired of being the 'just want sex' guy. But yeah I have never had any real feeling of romantic attraction so we'll see. There is this one chick who I know is kinky and I think we would be great but I'm nervous to try and get with her. But yeah I definently need to be honest about my intentions.

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      • [Old Memory]
        4 years ago

        Get to know and hangout with her ask her questions. If you got a lot in common and stuff over time you could possibly developed feelings. Not that in common is going to determine that but it’s nice to relate on that level. Take her out hangout with her like a friend and see where it goes. It’s hard to know someone a little and have some feelings gotta go for it and find out how she is as a person.

        I feel like if I were in your spot I’d get tired of that too. Sometimes it takes me a while till I realize I have feelings for someone and other times I’m fast af. Basically all it takes is some person to acknowledge and be nice to me and I already wanna get to know them. Then getting to know people I either realize this person isn’t for me or I could get used to being around them.

        Have you tried getting close with a girl without it being sexual? Like a bestfriend or something?

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        • Doesnormalmatter
          4 years ago

          I had one FWB that we had a lot of fun times with but we just couldn't do anything else together and eventually she kinda stopped liking it.

          But yeah thats a good idea to kinda force myself to spend a lot of time with her (or someone else) and kinda give it time to see if feelings develop. And if were both kinky fuckers that gives us one good common spot I guess however a lot of kinksters are pretty weird fucking people that might be hard to have a relationship. I can attest to that as well lol. But she may be different who knows but there is one way to find out I guess.

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  • cupcake_wants
    4 years ago

    Well, dude, for one, relationships are more than just sex. You got a hand for just raw need. Care about the girl you're with not to betray her by cheating on her. If you want happiness in the end, create good karma for yourself. Don't be cruel. Don't give out your heart to the first hot girl that comes along anyway. Don't give your heart to a girl that is not a good person on the inside either. You are still very young and have a lot of time to figure things out. Good luck!

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    • Doesnormalmatter
      4 years ago

      Thanks for the reply. I would say my primary concern going in is that sex might be too big of a deal for me. I'm sure some relationships ate more sexual than others but I would be worried that she might not think sex is that important.

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  • Doesnormalmatter
    4 years ago

    Its me. I'm strongly considering pursuing monogamy next year but really have no clue about how to go about it or how to behave inside of a relationship.

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    • cupcake_wants
      4 years ago

      It's like anybody you're friends with. Some people you just feel comfortable being yourself around. That's the kind of girl you want a relationship with. Friendship is really the foundation of a relationship. Don't anticipate too much, if it's meant to be, it will just happen. :)

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