Acceptable to view asian family traditions as close-minded?

9 Comments

I come from a white background, and my dad recently married his second wife, a Cantonese woman, and I don't like her at all. I don't dislike her because of her race, I dislike her because of belief system.

She is very old-fashioned Cantonese, and she takes it very seriously when I speak my mind or give my opinions about anything. She would always argue, " As your mother, you should have alot of respect for me. It's customary to honor my wishes and to never question me. "

I'm thinking to myself, " The hell with that! I'm a grown adult woman, and if I have something to say, I'm going to speak up! ". I'm not racist and nor do I discriminate, but some of these Asian Traditions are very close-minded.

My Stepmother doesn't understand that if there isn't dialogue and exchange between us, that we're going to be less well-informed and we're not going to bond well, and that's what familys' about.

I don't care if it's tradition, stupid is stupid. Is this acceptable?

It's acceptable. 42
It's not acceptable. 23
You should view her as close-minded, not the Traditions. 30
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Comments ( 9 )
  • FocoUS
    12 years ago

    These aren't Asian ideals. These are foreigner ideals. I'm from the Balkans and I get the same shtick from my family. My Cuban friend is in the same boat.

    At least now you understand why all those foreign kids in your school were miserable growing up.

    But this attitude is engraved in your step mom's brain. You can't argue with her you can only humor her, avoid the subject. If she does bug you go to your father. She may have annoying traditions but she knows that she's still new to the family so she'll respect your father.

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  • imacomputer
    12 years ago

    You are totally right dude!!!!!

    Fuck that old school shit.

    I love alot of things about the chinese culture, but fuck that!

    This aint China!

    This is America!!!! Or wherever you're from!!!!!

    Tell you Dad immediately!!!!

    Then tell her it aint like that here!!!!

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  • UliNalaMansae
    12 years ago

    my mom is almost the same but me being a white washed asian, some kids ive seen here are rude to their parents also and yeah my mom is demanding and close minded. it ends with her though :/

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  • Narutofan
    12 years ago

    I would honestly be disrespectful to her and say "You are not my mom you are my step mom!" Not because she's Asian but because she is acting arrogant in what used to be my home growing up.

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  • [Old Memory]
    12 years ago

    It's totally acceptable. You clearly are very eloquent, know who you are as a person. Don't give in to the oppressive ways of such traditions, and remember to stay true to yourself.

    I wish you good luck.

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  • happybudgies
    12 years ago

    Yeah a lot of asian tranditions are quite stupid. They tend to value material worth more than anything else.

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  • howaminotmyself
    12 years ago

    It's cultural. She was raised to believe it isn't acceptible for woman to be vocal with opinions and family honor means something different to her. Being argumentative won't solve anything. You both have something you can teach each other about compromise. Try to be open and understanding to a belief system she was conditioned with. If she doesn't budge, just try to be the better person and accept her, faults and all, as the woman your father wants in his life. Good luck.

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  • Appreciate
    12 years ago

    i hate those kind of asians D:
    mainland chinese are so arrogant >:|

    FOR EXAMPLE:
    once i was at an asian mall and i see the parking lot is full, and as soon as someone gets out these two chinese ladies are nose to nose in their cars waiting for whoever backs off first to steal the parking spot. i was just sitting there watching for like half an hour as i see other parking spots become open for long periods of time. then one of the ladies gets her daughter out of the car and tells her to stand on the parking spot so the other lady starts honking her horn like crazy. the daughter just simply turns around and faces the other way. by this time i had to leave though but yeah, you get my point. i'm not sure how long it lasted, but traditional chinese people are arrogant. Those whitewashed ones that grew up in america and learned manners are fine though :)

    ^^^ i apologize for the grammar, i rushed through it :/

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    • [Old Memory]
      12 years ago

      Wow, I know that you were rushing it but could you try to be even more racist next time?

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