A normal method of "self-discipline"?

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25 Comments

When I was a kid, we were hit with a stick across the palm or buttocks for any minor infraction. (eg. giggling or talking too loudly, forgetting a chore, being slow to follow instructions) However, there was one phase there when my Dad came up with this great thing he called "self-discipline". When my brother or I acted up, he would hand us the stick, and tell us to hit ourselves with it until we were red, and welted, and crying. My Brother thought it was a better deal, but being a sensitive girl, the memories have always haunted me. I wonder if this is why I have self-abusive tendencies? Do you think this was a good method of punishment?

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Based on 119 votes (18 yes)
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Comments ( 25 )
  • [Old Memory]
    12 years ago

    No, it is just a way for him to say "oh, I never hit her or anything" when you have guests. It's abuse that he hasn't done PHYSICALLY, but has forced YOU to do. Hope this is helpful!

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  • Wandyr
    12 years ago

    Self-punishment is never a good idea from a parent. It's basically a way for your father to avoid any responsibility for disipline and has the side effect of making you decide what the correct amount of punishment is - while worrying about being punished more if you didn't do enough.
    Now, I'm not entirely against spankings for misbehaving children, but a whipping or beating like you've described is beyond wrong and I am not surprised that it has had other effects on you. You really should talk with someone about it though. Self-abusive tendencies can escalate under stressful situations and it sounds like you spend a lot of time under stress. Find someone that can help you to cope and find other outlets. Wishing you all the best.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      12 years ago

      Yeah, I cannot say I am entirely against spanking either. I see a lot of naughty children who are out of control, and I wonder if spanking isn't the only way to get through to them. However, when I have my own kids, I am not sure if I will be able to bring myself to discipline them that way. Maybe I will leave it up to my husband.
      I am not really that self abusive. I don't really cut myself or anything like that. When I was in my early teens, I tried scraping myself, poking blood out, etc. But now at 18, mostly, I think I have just turned into a bit of a sexual masochist, and am otherwise normal.Thanks for the wishes. I wish you the best as well!

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      • Oak
        12 years ago

        I despise pain!!! Can you please explain, or try to explain how you like it? I truly don't understand. I have a few friends who cut themselves, etc., and it's hard to relate sometimes because I really don't understand why they do it.

        I hope I don't seem obnoxious, i genuinely want to try to understand.

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          12 years ago

          I don't really like pain per se. What I am saying is sometimes it turns me on sexually...as in a spanking. ;) As far as cutting myself, I think I tried that only a couple of times when I was only about 12 or 13. I mainly just used it to vent my anger. I was angry at the world, but felt the only thing I could take it out on was myself. I think the idea of a wound appeals to some, because it represents the wounds they have inside. Then as their outer wound heals, they convince themselves their inner wound has healed. However, as previously stated, I am not quite that messed up. Just a bit kinky sexually...although some would disagree. Many people like spankings and role play. It is not even weird anymore. I find it gratifying, because the idea of someone else dominating me, can be comforting and exhilarating. Hope I helped.

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          • Oak
            12 years ago

            Thanks, that was really helpful!!! I think I can understand a lot more now.
            .___. One of my good friends is totally sadistic... He likes to hurt people... It's really scary sometimes. I know that he's a good person, but sometimes he really is a little scary!! Sometimes he randomly remarks about stuff like "I wish I could hurt you with etc etc" or "You'd be fun to do experiments on..."
            My response is usually like "O___O" but then he just chuckles and goes "Only 'cause i like you!!"

            Also, I meant to say this earlier but it's horrible that your dad did that to you!!! My dad did similar crap, but it was mostly his words that made me feel bad. Please, never hit your kids, I know for some people it works but depending on your kid's personality and mind they could feel hurt about it for the rest of their lives... Never think that it's okay

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  • randomguy111
    12 years ago

    Yeah my dad tried hitting me until I reminded him it was illegal. He seemed to find the fact it was illegal more worrying than actually hurting his own kid.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      12 years ago

      Yeah, well. It isn't illegal everywhere. And I am sure my parents wouldn't care anyway. They went by the Bible. It is sad when I think back to how much innocent joy they destroyed, and the pain they brought upon their own children.

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  • Energy
    12 years ago

    That's horrible....:/

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  • justinetld
    12 years ago

    Depends on the era, but today it would be considered child abuse.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      12 years ago

      It was like 10-12 years ago. I am only 18 now. :)

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  • [Old Memory]
    12 years ago

    My daddy never hit me with anything but instead when I was naughty he would put the wooden spoon in my bum and make me stand in the corner.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      12 years ago

      You're joking, right?

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      • [Old Memory]
        12 years ago

        No, it was my fault though because I was a real brat when I was younger.

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  • IMissMary
    7 years ago

    The best way to discipline an adult is to fuck them in the ass

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  • BloodRedAndTrue
    10 years ago

    thats some jeffrey dahmer shit

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  • Kitche
    11 years ago

    It was normal a long time ago, and I kinda wish that physical punishments were more allowed today. It is much more effective than glaring or even yelling.

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  • LookSomeonesWelding
    12 years ago

    As a child i was smacked or sometimes hit with something, but never ever to the extent of what it sounds like you had to undergo

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      12 years ago

      I am sure a lot of people had it worse than me...I was a pretty good kid and stayed out of trouble most of the time. It does sadden me when I think of how many children go through even worse than we did. Best wishes!

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  • emilydoll
    12 years ago

    That's ... Not right.

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  • nowimsureimsane
    12 years ago

    Hmm..well i didnt know that about you..i dont mind submissiveness...

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      12 years ago

      Are you saying you think you know who I am...again? lol Okay, glad you don't mind submissiveness. Because that's all I am. The word masochistic sounds too strong for me. :)

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  • shade_ilmaendu
    12 years ago

    Yeah, Im gonna go with the general consensus here and say that thats a really fucked up thing for a parent to do, pardon my language. The idea of self discipline can be a habit forming thing, and it sounds like he took it way too far with what he would punish you for.

    Something like that could lead to someone harming themselves later in life. I went down that road once and its not one I like to see anyone else walk; no good can come of it.

    Im glad you seem to be okay though. Nothing wrong with being a masochist in the bedroom as long as youre not hurting yourself in a negative manner :P

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  • nowimsureimsane
    12 years ago

    Your a masochist.and yeah they screwed you up.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      12 years ago

      You're right. Sexually speaking, I am a bit masochistic...or at least submissive. But no, I don't actually torture myself anymore. I have grown out of any severe self-abuse. :)

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