A man in uniform....iin?

Some days, I just want to have an air of importance, I want to be THAT guy who can solve all problems and right wrongs, and also put a little bit of fear into ya. A man that commands respect.

I wear a uniform.

I polish my boots.

I tuck my shirt in and check my gig line.

I run my comb though my hair, slicking it back oh so neatly, and not too greasily.

My crisp white shirt pokes out from my top 2 unbuttoned buttons.

I am almost ready.

Just one more thing.

I snap my giant key ring full of about 200 keys of all sorts, shapes and sizes onto my belt.

I am....the janitor.

Don't fuck around in any hallway, parking lot or sidewalk when you see ME around.

Hey-YOU-yeah, you!! You smokin' over there? Put it out and move along!!

Also, I am the ONLY guy who can open your locker, get you in the special handicapped bathrooms and elevators, change the giant roll of toilet paper, and so on.

Well, wait....I can't really do any of those things beyond getting myself dressed and brushing my hair, but, man, if only I could.

I'm not even really good at playing janitor, last time I ended up getting fired from the mall for fucking off on the job, but I didn't even work there yet. It was only a dream, a dream that died before being realized (I'm no longer allowed on 'mall property').

Well, there's always Wal Mart, but I'd have to work there for like a solid couple weeks to get the good janitorial perks. Maintaining employment is hard for me, if you didn't catch my drift.

is it normal to want to dress up as the janitor?