A guy i'm interested in is giving me mixed signals?

50% Normal

He acts like he likes me. Texts me nearly every day or at least every other. He asks how my day went and seems genuinely interested to hear. We hang out at least once a week, go for coffee, dinner, movies, etc

When I cut my finger, he said I should get it looked at, asked me how it was healing, told me to see a doctor if it got infected because he was worried. When I didn't text back for three days (I was testing him), he sent a text asking if everything was alright and if I was safe, said he was worried.

But he hardly ever flirts with me, he doesn't mention wanting to be in a relationship, in fact has told me earlier on that he doesn't think he's ready for one and he does have mental health issues he's going to therapy for.

I'm the only girl he texts on a daily basis, this I know for certain but he does have female friends he texts. He also hooks up a lot but he never talks to his hook ups after. He tells me he hates hooking up but doesn't know how to stop, says it's his coping mechanism for his anxiety. He knows I'm not hugely into sex and he's mentioned that he's glad I'm not as into sex as he is as it's unhealthy and never mentions sex in conversations with me. He really seems to respect me and our conversations on the phone can go on for a few hours at times.

Is this normal behavior?

It's confusing me

Voting Results

50% Normal

Based on 4 votes (2 yes)

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Comments ( 12 )

Mrown

4 years ago

I think you're just a good friend to him and he cares about you.

Even if he does like you in a romantic way, he won't show it because he wants to figure out his issues first and doesn't want to fuck up the relation he has with you, because you're not just another hook up for him.

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curious-bunny

4 years ago

What mrown said. Some understand the importance if self healing before trying to move forward. Sounds like he may be one of them. At the very least he clearly has some sort of feelings towards you at the basic as a really good friend. Potentially more. If so I'm definitly not the person to ask. I'm terrible at figuring that stuff out

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SKDM007

4 years ago

weird,, its usually the girl who gives mixed signals

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SwickDinging

4 years ago

It's hard to judge this without knowing him but I think there are a few possibilities here. One that I think is most likely is that he is interested in a relationship with you (but perhaps isn't totally sure, and is just going back and forth in his head), and sees you as more pure and mature than the women he hooks up with, which is why he doesn't speak about sex around you. He respects you more, but also you've told him you're not into sex so he's going to take that onboard and try and impress you by saying he doesn't like sex either.

The issue is though, as doesnormalmatter pointed out, that he is interested in sex. I think when he says he's not interested it's a combination of him wanting to impress you because you're not into it, and him expressing that he has grown tired of the hook ups. Hook ups and sex are not synonymous. Consider the possibility that he wants to stop the random hook ups and start having sex with you. Just make sure you don't get used. Make sure you're having sex for the right reasons. Make sure he actually wants to commit to a relationship first. He thinks he's ready for change but you never know, some people go back to their old ways. Don't open yourself up to be hurt by him.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  4 years ago
  
  Thanks for your input, I appreciate it.
  
  Today he confessed he likes me way more than a friend. Said he thought he could stop himself from getting involved because he wouldn't make a good boyfriend right now and said I was the most perfect woman he's ever met.
  
  He asked me to come over and we cuddled and watched Netflix. It felt couple-like and was really sweet. He said he didn't deserve me, that I was too good for him and then later after I left he texted me how he's going to stop hooking up with all women for good and that he doesn't want to ruin anything with me.
  
  I joked and told him we could never be together because I could never satisfy his sex drive and he told me he doesn't care about sex when he's with me.
  
  Maybe he is lying but he didn't hook up today and he hooks up every Saturday night. Instead we spoke on the phone for hours.
  
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  - SwickDinging
    
    4 years ago
    
    Ah, that's really nice to hear. Sounds like you guys are going to end up getting more serious. Good for you OP :)
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      4 years ago
      
      Thanks!
      
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Doesnormalmatter

4 years ago

"He knows I'm not really into sex and that's a good thing"

This right here is the problem. First off, why is sex getting a negative light? Do you really think his hormones don't work? He clearly loves sex, and there is a 99.99 percent chance he is lying when he says its a good thing that your not into sex. Trust me, he wants sex, probably a lot based on how he hooks up, so if that is a problem, I would be careful and very skeptical. Guys can't just shut of their sex drive, trust me I've tried.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  4 years ago
  
  I don't know, he just said his sex obsession is depressing him and it's refreshing that I'm not hugely into sex. 🤷
  
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  - Doesnormalmatter
    
    4 years ago
    
    You down vote me for telling you what you need to hear and not what you want to hear! If your not into sex, I just think you haven't found the right person yet. Have you ever had sex before? It may just be me as a guy, but I have no idea how you can be 'not hugely into sex'. But either way, if you don't like sex, don't get with this guy! I would almost say don't get with any guy, but if you find one who is more personal/emotional and has a low sex drive, you should be fine. But this particular guy clearly does not fit the bill, as evidenced by his habit of hooking up. I stand on my position, I strongly suggest you do not relationally affiliate with this man. Your playing with fire.
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      4 years ago
      
      I didn't down vote you why make assumptions, that's just childish? I can screenshot to prove it, I can't downvote anyone on this site.
      
      The last person I was with 3 years and he had a normal sex drive. Never bothered him. Why are you so obsessed with the sex aspect? Lol relationships aren't centered around sex. I've dated around 11 people, non were annoyed about my sex drive lol.
      
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      - Doesnormalmatter
        
        4 years ago
        
        There not always about sex, and if you read my reply I did mention that, but for THIS specific guy, sex is clearly a big deal or else he wouldn't be hooking up so much. Do you know what a hook up is?
        
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A guy i'm interested in is giving me mixed signals?