peer pressure in cliques

6 Comments

Ill be deleting my last topic on this subject soon but for now you are free to hop on over and look at it.
I failed to properly narrow my topic down to the fact i ment pressure from friends in school to do drugs or drink. (Or other harmful things)
I think very little actual discussion on this took place...and I worded my title wrong.

My view on this subject is that I think its an excuse people use to do the behavior ...or to repeat the behavior. I have been to a lot of places went to many different schools and I have been offered to drink or do drugs. No was always my answer...and I found that no one really ever pressured, no one called me names, or dropped me as a friend. I dont think that in these situations peer pressure is anything more then an excuse.

I feel like Fall_leaves was the only person to bring some good arguments and wanted to ask about this as well...as I feel my wide array of friends was a contributing factor for my view on the subject.

Quote-"I guess being in a clique and not experiencing friendships outside of that clique, kind of dissolves your own identity. "

Id like to talk about this here...please remain on topic and note bellow the things im curiouse about.

Do you feel peer pressure( such as drug use theft...ect) is more real and not just excuse when you grow up in a circle of friends... is it not apparent that you have a choice to say no? Or switch friends? Did you ever feel like you could say no?

If you are a victim of peer pressure did your friends really leave you or bully you into submission?

I have in all the people I have met never saw anyone be peer pressured into doing something they really didnt want to do...I have only heard such an excuse from people who go back and forth on drugs.

I hope that I made myself more clear on what im looking for in a topic if not I apologize.

peer pressure is not just an excuse for drugs and alcohol 1
peer pressure is always an excuse 2
peer pressure is sometimes an excuse 1
peer pressure is mostly an excuse but there are real cases. 0
I have never experianced peer pressure with friends 1
I have experianced peer pressure with "friends" 0
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Comments ( 6 )
  • slings_and_arrows
    9 years ago

    But people go along with things they wouldn't otherwise have done if they weren't part of that clique. From the outside it wouldn't look like they've been forced. Only they know on the inside that they are forcing themselves to join in for whatever reasons such as being made fun of, not being man enough, being too much of a goody two shoes etc. itduz mentioned a situation where a girl was trying to get on him or something and he couldn't push her off even though he wanted to coz he said the friends around him would have taken the piss, "ridiculed" him, I think is what he said. If you were at that party you would have thought itduz was just being one of the guys, not seeing the conflict inside and pressure exerted on him by the group.

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    • reminiscent
      9 years ago

      Your right I would have seen him as likening the girl being one of the guys if he didnt push her off him.
      but if he would have pushed her off because he didnt want her on him...and his friends made fun of him for that...he needs new friends. Also if I would have seen that I would have stood up for him. Maybe some other people would too.
      maybe you need to think that there might be someone who will be on your side...when your "friends" arnt.
      but yeah I wouldnt see that if he didnt look distressed.

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  • dom180
    9 years ago

    I don't know much about the psychology of peer pressure, although I don't doubt there's a lot of research into it. I can tell you a little bit of how I conceptualise peer pressure.

    My personal experience is that I've never experienced peer pressure when it comes to drugs. I've always wanted to drink so pressure with alcohol was never an issue, and none of my friends growing up ever smoked cigarettes or took any other drugs so that wasn't a problem for me.

    Okay, let's talk about identity. Lots of psychologists would say, and I would agree (although you don't have to agree), that we have more than one identity. Identity is collective *and* individual. When we are with friends, the collective identity we share in our friendship group takes on a lot more importance than it otherwise would. Even our individual identities are shaped by and exist in referance to other people. Without trying to sound like I'm dismissing other people's thoughts about identity (disclaimer: your thoughts do count and are valuable. For the second time, you don't have to agree. Be a critic.), identity as a topic is more complicated than most people without a psychology education tend to give it credit for and understanding a wide range of conceptions of identity can be really valuable even for people who have no other interest in psychology.

    However, I don't think identity is the most important thing in peer pressure (at least not in those terms; it could definitely take a back-seat role). I think a lot of compliance with peer pressure comes from rational choice, or perceived rational choices. When we feel like we'll lose friends - or drift from them - by not engaging in an activity, we make the rational choice to comply even if we aren't motivated by our own hearts. It gives us the feeling of being pressurized; when we're pressurized, we're forced into making a decision we're not comfortable with.

    The effect can be magnified, as you've mentioned, by having a small number of friends all concentrated in one group. When all your eggs are in one basket, you'll go to greater lengths to make sure you hold on to the basket.

    I'm sure someone more educated than me could talk about peer pressure much more intelligently, but that's my take for now :) I might be able to give more thoughts if anyone wants them.

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    • reminiscent
      9 years ago

      Ok this was a very interesting read.

      Now i must ask with the collective identity I have had different groups of friends but I dont think I take on a different identity to fit each friend group. Example : I have a group of nerdy friends who like to taple top rp (dungeons and dragons) and a small group of friend who arnt into that. But I dont pretend not to be interested in my nerdy side in front of friends who arnt into that. And vise versa. I dont pretend interest in things and dont just go a long with things im not interested in.

      Also I have no fear of loosing a friend based on whether or not I engage in the activity. .. as this has never happened.
      Im starting to think its because of my moving around I can more easily replace friends an I am less dependent on them?
      But I think even in a small group of friends there are still plenty of people attending a school so your options while not as wide as mine were are still big.
      and then I must question if the availability of online friend...widening your selection even more...would this help people feel less dependent on people who are clearly not good friends?

      I did take one psychology class in college but they never got into anything like this.

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      • dom180
        9 years ago

        It's not about pretending anything, or being fake or anything like that. When we start talking about multiple identity it's easy to start thinking about two-faced people but that isn't what we're talking about. Two-faced people consciously manage their expression of identity, but what we're talking about all happens on the unconscious level.

        Identity isn't only something you do - it's also something you *feel*. When you're playing D+D (or watching your friends play, or talking about it, or whatever you guys do), you probably feel like more of a D+D fan than you otherwise would because of the environment you're in. That's because your identities are all "activated" at the same time, it's just that they change in prominence depending on your environment. You're always a D+D fan wherever you are, but you're identity as a D+D fan isn't at the forefront of your mind when you're not in that group.

        Does that make sense? I ask because if I can't explain it clearly then that's a problem with me :P

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        • reminiscent
          9 years ago

          I think you explained pretty well.
          it does make me think....I think I may try to read up on it if im able

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