'my partner is in love with my sister'

I'm not sure what to feel. I just recently found out that my partner is in love with my sister. He assure's me that he still love's me but he cannot seem to help his feeling's. I know for a fact that he has never done anything with her, si it's not like that. But it still hurts to know that he can be so consumed with thoughts of her day in and day out. I can understand how these things can happen but it doesn't make things any better. Now it looks like we will have to move away because he is so miserable because we see her everyday. Our kids go to the same school. She has no idea what his feelings are, but i am still having a hard time not resenting her, which is totally unfair. Now I find myself feeling guilty for my thoughts toward them both. I know this is a silly question but Can somebody please tell me what I should do.

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Based on 68 votes (16 yes)
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Comments ( 13 )
  • sweetest_strawberry

    wow im sorry to hear that. and i can only imagine how much more painful it is now that kids are involved.this situation really does not seem healthy and i think you would agree. but ive always found that ultimate happiness is the most important part of life and often forgotten about. how can either of you ever be ultimately happy when you both know that hes inlove with her. this must caus eso many complications and it is inevitable to get worst. i really think that you should leave him. The one undisputable thing that makes or breaks a relationship is "being inlove" and since he openly admits he is inlove with someone so close to you i really think it is already over... dont be somones second choice

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  • mtnw

    i want to add another comment.

    how come you "resent" her, the sister? how come you don't resent him, the partner?

    he's doing it, not her.

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  • Riddler

    Well honestly unless he plans on doing something with her I do not see a point in telling you. I could see where this would be very hurtful to you. Though don't blame your sister because its not her fault.

    I would say love him. Nothing worse than living with someone you know does not really love you back. The fact he wants you to move since he cant stand seeing your sister means he knows he is disloyal and cant control himself.

    He sounds like a dick and completely fucked up for putting your families in this type of position. You said your kids all go to the same school and this is horrible unfair to all of them.

    So I am assuming your sister had someone too than right? Tell him to deal with it or leave by himself. Him being a horn-dog does not mean he has to make the rest of you suffer and he should be ashamed of himself.

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  • supermarmee

    I like what AussieWolf said!!! At least you know your sister would never want him back??? Do you??? But if you move, can you trust both parties then??? I feel sorry for you, it is a horrible feeling to know that your sister is loved more than you, even more so from your husband!!! Have you spoken to your sister re: this situation??? Can she help??? Maybe talk to h, while you are there, that way he knows that she is not interested and that you are??? It is terrible for him to say that to you but be strong, help him love you more again... I wish you so much happiness, hopefully, you have a great sister who will be there for you through it all regardless!!! Good Luck:)

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  • pritirajvanshi

    honestly saying.................ur husabann is totally shitttttttttttttttttttt...u get away from her life..................u make a decision..............bez* its ur life

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  • pritirajvanshi

    get out ur husband

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  • aussiewolf

    get rid of him. if he cant control his feelings for your sister then what is going to happen when you move and he finds another girl to obsess over? are you going to keep moving because of him? its fine to admire someone if you find them attractive but not to fall in love with them. it is wrong that you resent your sister because she has no control over how your partner feels but its understandable because its causing friction in your relationship. find another guy who wants you and ONLY you.

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  • Racoon

    *this was not meant to be mean, I just wanted to show you that this might be a ''no win'' situation for you... and why did your partner told you so?

    I don't know , just start to have a life of your own again... maybe your partner will realize he is LOSING you and might try to put up with you...

    You always have to hurt to someone you love to make them realize they love you... how stupid is that? But it works.

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  • Racoon

    for how long are you going to sit there and cry?

    All you life?

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  • orchid1227

    ditch him... honestly, that is not the least bit normal. you deserve so much better than that and it is not fair for you to have to suffer being with someone so selfish. he is tearing your life apart... your self confidence has probably gone down to shit, you're resenting your sister, you're dealing with him and HIS 'feelings' and now having to move? just lose him. he is selfish and cruel and does not deserve someone like you, who obviously really cares about him and loves him deeply. save that big heart for someone who can give you everything that you give them and more!!

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  • Passionate

    your sister is innocent. get your sister to be with him and dump his sorry ass. he'llstick with you forever after that. thats what sisters are for

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  • mtnw

    you call him a partner, not a husband, so i assume he won't commit to you already. i feel bad for you as this must be a miserable situation to find yourself in. you deserve a man who loves you and just you. don't blame your sister, but maybe she can help you out if you talk to her. also, you better tell the "partner" that if he's isn't really going to be a "partner" then you may want to move on. too bad kids are involved. are the kids his?

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    • robbieforgotpw

      Unless they're in a homo relationship

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