my outward appearance doesn't match who i really am inside

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6 Comments

I am a fairly attractive girl. Not trying to be conceited, you don't even have to believe me, but use your imagination because this is important to the rest of the story. So, I am a ''cute'' and ''shy'' girl on the outside, everyone thinks I am so innocent and stuff. Just picture that. on the inside, I'm possibly the worst person anyone normal could meet... I have so many ''dark secrets'' that I must keep. Let's see, for one thing, not much bothers me really. I have seen it all... I have a fascination with morbidity, I study things like nazis and other wwii stuff, mass deaths, freak accidents, biological disasters, etc. I think it's really interesting in a cool way. I like to see porn mostly of cartoons, I even draw my own - people shitting pissing throwing up getting raped bondage bleeding gore etc. because it's fun to draw, and see in fiction. I have a weird humor, I understand all kinds of jokes but laugh so hard at ''off-color'' types because it's mostly so dumb I guess. I'm a virgin and don't really have much interest in sex, other than drawing it, for some reason. I really like trolling this kinda of stuff on the internet too.

anyway, my problem is that everyone sees me as a cute little shy and innocent girl who must be treated with care, so I feel that's how I must act. everything stays in my brain, and I feel like I'm faking everyone, but if I actually let out the reality of my mind, I'd be hated by most people.

So, is it normal to have all these dark secrets and stuff you couldn't tell just anyone, that keeps you from being who you really are? and that you constantly feel you must be fake to live up to your outward appearance?

Voting Results
83% Normal
Based on 12 votes (10 yes)
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Comments ( 6 )
  • creations_simpicity
    10 years ago

    Shame isn't it... You obviously are not to proud of yourself
    if you hide behind a mask. you will never be happy. SHOW YOUR TRUE COLORS, then and only then you will know where the peoples loyalty lays. if they accept you they are your friends other wise if they don't i'd flick them off and move on, your not alone

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  • Who_Fan4Life
    12 years ago

    I am the same way, but not as ''extreme.''

    I suppose a lot of people have many things inside of them that people on the ''outside'' don't realize.

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    • 53739
      8 years ago

      yeah I think that's true. The OP does sound like a very interesting person though. Just be you, and you will be happier for it. Understandably that is a lot easier said than done, because we all think about how society and other people will judge us for our thoughts and actions.

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  • RinTin
    12 years ago

    Have you seen Eastbound and Down? It's hilarious.

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  • Blue_Velvet
    12 years ago

    Are you a teen? it could be a phase.

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  • nonameforeverwhatlol
    12 years ago

    id say its not your fault, its just that more often then not expectations that people have from us dont match what we feel we should give. so our lives either become an act or we come out as who we are and hope we are accepted as such.

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