2 lies and 1 truth

i has one testicle
i has two testicles
i has three testicles

I draw hentai comics in my spare time. Mostly bondage and anal.

I used to shoplift from every store I shopped at until I was caught by an employee at the 7 Eleven.

I did not cry or feel sad this entire month. Yay!

My aunt married someone famous.

I'm a pro at white-water rafting.

I always wanted to be doctor when I was older but didn't want to go to school for such a long period of time.

I served 5 years at Tyger River Correctional Institute (Prison) in fabulous Enoree, South Carolina.

I am an ordained minister.

I lost a leg in Afghanistan.

I have enormous boobs.

I have blue eyes.

I am the last great dodo bird.

Got arrested for smoking grass on the White House lawn in a 1967 protest.
Slept with a big name blonde movie star in 1969.
I've never eaten a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

I smuggled a harvest of Blueberry chronic marijuana from Long Beach, California to Las Vegas, Nevada.

I used to be a professional radio disc jockey.

I'm deathly afraid of spiders.

I think I'm more honest on iin than I probably should be so a lot of things that probably would be secrets to people aren't with me, ha, I joined to be more open now I have a problem with being too open, so I can't really think of much that's secretive ( that I'd actually share ) so my ones probably aren't the kind of thing you're after but I'll have a go

I once slipped on a banana peel and crashed through a college window while the people inside were mid lesson

I once met Stephen fry in a costa coffe in Milton Keynes and had a chat about the book he'd just finished

I once genuinely made the cliché joke a reality by asking an overweight woman when she was due, she teared up, slapped me and called me a piece of shit

When I was 11, I shoved a kid off the swings just because it looked fun.

I've had many very violent, non consentual, sexually sadistic urges and fantasies of necrophilia and being a rapist.

When I was 14, I tried to sneak a knife to school incase I wanted to give a "present" to the guy who rejected me.

(Bonus) I once, purposely, ripped off my entire pinky nail in a fit of rage.

Special treat, two of them are true ;)

I'm a turtle.

I'm a turtle.

I'm NOT a turtle.

Im 18 and single

I have a mustang gt 500

I live next to Usher

I've reached 100% completion in GTA V, twice.

I've beat Far Cry 3 without dying.

It took me 2 minutes to defeat Bane and Deathstroke in Batman: Arkham Origins, on I AM THE NIGHT difficulty level.

I participated in an orgy that was filmed when I was 17.

I eat something cheesy at some point in the day every single day.

I have an ass like Nicki Minaj but it's real.

I once went to Florida and hugged Mickey.
My nose is dripping blood right now.
When I was younger, I wanted to be a supermodel.

I eat stuff off the sidewalk.
I know im not myself.
I am a dirty birdy.

Ooooo, bonus! I eat bugs for breakfast!

I've been to the moon.
My great-great grandfather was an Elvis impersonator.
I've never seen Star Wars.

On a transatlantic flight, three porn stars and their director ended up sitting all around me. I made the "mile high club" with one of the porn starlets.

I ducked out of my hotel room to put my room service tray in the hall and accidentally locked myself out naked. I had to go down to the lobby to get a new key wearing only two small plants I grabbed from the floor's elevator lobby.

I was chased by a pack of wild dogs through the woods. When they cornered me, I hid behind some bushes and had an out-of-body experience. They acted like they lost my scent and trotted away.

i like the Red Hot Chili Peppers

i have pissed myself laughing in public (only once)

i dont like to say lots of words

I have been to Mexico.

I have been to jail for counterfeiting.

I have a pet lizard.

I was nearly brought in to have a "talk" with a cop at age 14.

My friend is being monitored by the cops in her country on the grounds that she may be "groomed into a terrorist".

My uncle has unknowingly worked for a Triad clan.

My sister and I use each other to relieve sexual frustrations

I steal random things from my friends just to see if I can do it without them noticing, and when they find out it's missing, try to put it back without them noticing

What I secretly fear most is not being accepted by the people I'm around

Oh, this sounds like fun.

- I've willingly and knowingly tasted human meat

- I have an IQ of 180.

- I've slept with more men than women, and yet consider myself to be entirely straight.

Shouldn't I have copyrights to this thread :o

- I dropped out of elementary school, high school, and even failed basic English 3 times.
- I once sleepwalked on my way to kill a roommate, but snapped out of it midway -- but not before scaring the living hell out of her
- All my life affection has been showered upon me, and many steps I have made have been in spite of it.

I have a bad limp.

I have over 150 scars.

I am a mute in real life.

Was engaged to a girl who's parents both have stars on the walk of fame

Flipped off mike Tyson and yelled expletives at him

dunked a basketball In a real game

I robbed a man in his hotel room, left and came back and robbed him some more.

I'm a pro at skinning squirrels.

I spent a few of my first years being raised in some sort of utopian cult group. I don't remember much, but I vaguely recall annual tree orgies.

I'm responsible for all of the dog sex posts

I am co-founder of a successful website

I have done a 60 mile backpacking trip

I wrote an published novel.

Ever since I was a child, dead people have been attracted to me.

I've been to 11 different countries.

when I was 8 years old I had my dog lick my vagina out

i'm addicted to watching children tv shows

i love to piss on myself