"is it normal in a marriage to get sex once a month

You're tired, she's tired, the kids are screaming at each other, she's got loads of stuff going around in her head about things she needs to do, yada, yada, yada. It's family life happening to you. Unfortunately, it's very, very normal.

You're unhappy about your sex life. You and your wife have to talk about this. You need to understand what's taking up all her mental energy so she's not thinking about you and her anymore, and you need to help her deal with that.

Maintaining a healthy sexual relationship is very important for couples. They need that bonding. Parents really need time that's just for them.

Some parents establish a routine where the kids know their parents' bedroom door is locked on Sunday mornings, and they are not to disturb them unless the house is on fire or someone is bleeding. The kids don't need to know what's really going on. Tell them mom and dad just want to sleep in, or you'd like time to talk.

That may sound artificial, but you're not teenagers anymore. You can't just hop in the sack when the mood hits you. You have to make the time.

You say your wife never shows physical affection for you in front of the kids. This is very bad. Kids learn from their parents what a loving adult relationship looks like, how people who care about each other behave around each other. Kids go through a stage where they claim to find it "yucky" to see their parents hug each other and kiss, but what kids need most is a sense of security. If you and your wife are constantly emotionally and physically distant, somewhere in their little heads they may well be wondering if they're going to end up like their friends who only have one parent living with them.

Maybe you need to take a bath?

Exactly man, if I was to get married one day, I would feel I am with someone I am
Compatible with and a sense of achievement, and feel loved etc they are the reasons I would get married if I found these qualities in a girl perhaps, and there's just so much more important things than bloody sex, how old are you bro?

Gratuitous*

A man or a woman is going to get the sex they need. This could be outside of the marriage.

Sleazy*

Sleezy*

If you in a loving marriage with a nice family why do you care so much about sex? Is it seriously that important to you? What was/is your main reason for dating/getting married, the fact that you are saying this is why people go look for it somewhere else tells me you are considering cheating, my advice is talk to your wife and ask her why she's not engaging in sexual intercourse with you not go have an affair like some sleepy dog!!!