(iin) prison relationship

I thought this was gonna be about uninvited men-love.

You are not the only women to have a relationship like this. The advantage is that your men dedicates all his time to writing to you, thinking about you and loving you. It's like in a fairy tale where love is all that matters. I understand that you have fallen in love but you must keep feet on earth, when he will be out it would no longer be just him and you. There would be lots of other thing that will change in the relationship, he will not be romantic 24/7, he will not have the time. Don't lie to yourself in believing in Prince Charming. For him you are a support, a strong support. I'm really afraid, you are so enthusiastic about this relationship.

You're one of those girls who always knows where her boyfriend is.

After he gets out of prison while you sit in your car waiting for him at a convenience store he may end up robbing the place and you both may end up in the Prison as an accomplish (getaway driver) and if he shoots someone, you can end up an accessory. An accessory is a person who assists in the commission of a crime, but who does not actually participate in the commission of the crime as a joint principal. The distinction between an accessory and a principal is a question of fact and degree:
In some jurisdictions, an accessory is distinguished from an accomplice, who normally is present at the crime and participates in some way. An accessory must generally have knowledge that a crime is being, or will be committed. A person with such knowledge may become an accessory by helping or encouraging the criminal in some way, or simply by failing to report the crime to proper authority. The assistance to the criminal may be of any type, including emotional or financial assistance as well as physical assistance or concealment. (so if you help him in any way, or protect him from the police you become an Accessory)

Relative severity of penalties[edit]
The punishment tariff for accessories varies in different jurisdictions, and has varied at different periods of history. In some times and places accessories have been subject to lesser penalties than principals (the persons who actually commit the crime). In others accessories are considered the same as principals in theory, although in a particular case an accessory may be treated less severely than a principal. In some times and places accessories before the fact (i.e., with knowledge of the crime before it is committed) have been treated differently from accessories after the fact (e.g., those who aid a principal after a crime has been committed, but had no role in the crime itself). Common law traditionally considers an accessory just as guilty as the principal(s) in a crime, and subject to the same penalties. Separate and lesser punishments exist by statute in many jurisdictions. Ignorance in not the same as innocence in the eyes of the Law!

Arrogant, controlling, cocky, and dangerous; why would a woman want to be with a man like that? It's true, lots of women are attracted to "bad men" but its worse is when they are attracted to criminals, felons, and the incarcerated. Who are these women and why do they fall for men most of us wouldn't even consider dating? Understand why some women love bad men even when it means risking their lives and family relationships.
It seems the more notorious the criminal the more women that line up to see him and write letters. You would think a man in prison can't have a girlfriend but, you would be surprised how many available women are available to felons even if they aren't in the public spotlight. Some couples meet by visitation, letter writing, and others by phone. Typically it tends to be the woman reaching out to the men, but why? Bank robbers, murderers, rapists, and serial killers don't seem like people women would want to have a relationship with. Many are attracted to the danger and all are fascinated if not infatuated with the bad man of their desires.

Some women move miles away from family and friends to be with these men while others still take 2-3 hour long trips to go visit these men at jail. Women who love men behind bars let it rule their lives. Their daily routine tends to revolve around jail visitation hours making parenting, work, and even day to day life more difficult than it would be under normal circumstances. Women who love and marry men behind bars constantly play the victim time and time again. These relationships with men behind bars can have disastrous effects on the children and family of the woman involved.

How does something like this happen to what seems a totally normal woman? Well, most women that love bad men tend to have one thing in common; they are all insecure. They want someone to love them and they want to feel wanted. Usually they are lonely, don't have many friends, and often don't have strong relationships with family. But, don't be fooled because it can happen to anyone. Even a married woman may fall for a man behind bars and risk her life for him.

Women who love bad men are looking for danger, excitement, and unconditional love. All of these traits are commonly found in criminals which makes it understandable why these women fall for these men. Men behind bars are taken care of; the women don't have to worry about where he is because he is always in the same place, jail. They don't have to clothe, feed, or clean up after these men, which I assume is part of the obsession.

How can you tell if a woman you know is involved with a felon or someone that is incarcerated? There are often not a lot of signs but if you pay attention there are clues that you can see. Often the relationship is a secret or the woman doesn't introduce the man for months, if at all. Women who are normally outgoing can be quiet, timid even, and won't talk much when they are with these bad men. She will risk everything for the prisoner, even if it means loosing a job, estrangement of family members, and even suffering financial loss.

And what if she wants to marry this man behind bars? When it comes right down to it most women would throw away everything to be with these men. Trying to stop the marriage or refusing to speak to her usually won't work. There are lots of hardships and pain when it comes to dating someone behind bars, but when it comes to marriage there is more at stake than these women think. Typically it tends to be a very lonely marriage, it can be very hard for the children to deal with, and often it ends with divorce. Overall, it doesn't really seem worth all the trouble but women are putting themselves through this everyday.

Generally relationships with men behind bars tend to take a serious tone very, very quickly. Many women involved with men like that describe the relationship as a whirlwind, fast, and sometimes volatile. Sometimes the women actually do have something in common with the incarcerated like both being molested or abused as a child but these kind of things are often not a solid basis for a relationship and things can go wrong at any time.

For women who love bad men there are deeper issues that need to be dealt with other than their choice of man. A woman's relationship with a prisoner can be detrimental to all aspects of her life and those involved in it. Women who fall for men behind bars have psychological and emotional issues that need to be dealt with, sooner rather than later. Families need to become tighter knit as they were in the past in order to avoid problems like this in the future.

Warning: Also when he does get Out he may use you as an accomplish in a crime (getaway-driver) robbing a liquor store without your knowledge and you both may end up in the Prison. Ignorance in not the same as innocence in the eyes of the Law!

Be careful. Criminals learn to be very manipulative!
It’s every father’s worst nightmare. Receiving the news that their little girl has fallen for a jailbird must feel like a punch to the gut. The standard interrogator-style questions that a protective father would normally ask to get a sense of the man trying to steal his little girl’s heart are rendered pointless. He already knows the answers—and they’re beyond disappointing.

The disadvantages of dating a man behind bars are as obvious as they are plentiful. Let’s see: You can’t go out on dates, no dinners, no movies, no dancing, nothing. You can’t have physical contact except a brief hug and a kiss once a week at visits. That is, if you’re lucky enough to be dating someone in a facility that allows contact visits, most of the time visitation occurs through glass. You can’t sleep in the same bed, take trips together, or talk about anything you don’t want a prisoner guard to overhear.

This sounds—awful. Clearly nobody in their right mind would pursue this sort of relationship, right?

Wrong. For whatever reason, thousands of women go after romantic relationships with inmates they’ve never even met, and didn’t know on the outside. Websites like Write a Prisoner and Hot Prison Pals facilitate budding romances between incarcerated men, and the prison groupies who love them. It’s like online dating for inmates, women can browse profiles of prisoners and then send letters to inmates they’re interested in.

So why do some women fall for felons? Here are 3 possible explanations.

1) Some Women Want a “Fixer-Upper”

For some ladies, dating a prisoner is the ultimate “project.” While a man on the outside will usually run for the hills once he senses that the lady in his life is trying to change him, an inmate who is starved for companionship will most likely be more receptive to being “saved” than your average Joe would be.

2) No Competition

For the uber-jelly gals who are too possessive to maintain a healthy relationship with a normal guy, a prison bf is the perfect compromise. They know where their man is at all times, and that he won’t cheat because he doesn’t have access to any other women.

3) The Control

When a women gets involved with a man who is in prison, she has the upperhand 100% of the time. He is stuck in a cell all day waiting to hear from her, hoping she will come visit. This imbalanced power dynamic can turn a hardened prisoner into a lovesick puppy dog, especially if the inmate doesn’t have family on the outside. A dependance forms, and for some women, having this kind of ultimate domination over their relationship is extremely desirable. In other words, the relationship basically becomes the picture perfect model for co-dependency. Sounds pretty sexy, right?

Too Dangerous

Aside from the obvious inability to enjoy a normal relationship with these men, there are significant risks associated with pursuing romance with a prisoner. The inmate can easily become obsessed. Women who write to men in prison must understand that many of these inmates have been locked up for years, possibly even decades and may not have had contact with a woman for a long time. This, in combination with the fact that a prisoner doesn’t have much to do all day but sit around and think about their “girlfriend” on the outside, can often be the perfect recipe for obsession, which can lead to desperate, dangerous actions if the inmate’s attachment becomes too strong.

Remember ladies, there are other places to meet muscular, tatted up bad boys aside from your state penitentiary.

If the whole prison thing kinda leaves you freaked out, as opposed to turned on, consider performing a criminal records search on the dude you’re dating.

What is be in prison for?