how do you completely get over someone you love?

87% Normal
13 Comments

My ex broke up with me in June, we were together for a year and in a long distance relationship for 2 years.

I never stopped loving him.I emailed him last week to tell him how i feel,and i would try harder to be with him if he still feel the same about us.its hard for now, but it will worth the effort to share many years of happy life together.He said that he never stopped loving me too, but after much thought, he think its the best for us to move on, he want to settle down with someone close to him so that he dont need worry about visa, and he dont want to move to other country to live, its hard for him to adapt to different culture.He said to me we should move on, once he get a good job he will start looking for someone he can start a family with.

My heart is broken but i know i should face reality with dignity. I do wish him to be happy, he is a good man, when we were together, we had a great time.But i dont want to become a crazy, obsessed,sad woman,i am still thinking about him everyday,couldnt stop my tears.how do you completely get over someone you love??

thanks everyone!

Voting Results
87% Normal
Based on 45 votes (39 yes)
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Comments ( 13 )
  • sherry
    13 years ago

    You can't make someone love you. I ate my heart out over a man who didn't love me. I used to stand in front of a mirror and try to figure out what he didn't like about me. Get as far away from him and anything that makes you think of him. Don't keep pix. Make new friends. You'll work through it.

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  • 1Testing
    13 years ago

    I heard the way to stop liking some one you don't want to be infatuated with was to find something/anything repulsive about them.

    But when your in love, it's a a lot harder because you accept their flaws and repulsive or not, it's love, you know?.. Maybe you should take some time to realize that he's moved on and that maybe YOU should move on because you deserve better and he just wasn't the one. I still remember the guy I loved and I don't think I'll just STOP loving him because, like yours, he was decent guy and he made me into a better and happier person.

    I think about him every now and then but reality always interrupts me and I decided that life can't be spent waiting on a guy that already decided that there's just someone else for him. Try to keep yourself a little busier then normal and keep your mind off by getting a hobby or volunteering, something that'll help get you up.

    It'll take awhile and the love won't go away unless he screws you over and pisses you off somehow but It'll be worth it. Just my two cents. Good luck with life :)

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    • cherrytomato
      13 years ago

      Hi, thanks a lot for writing this to me.

      I had a chat with my friend today which ease my mind a lot.It is hard to move on when i had feelings for someone for a long time,especially when i cannot talk to them face to face, in person,to try to work things out.I wondered lot of"what ifs.." but i think i deserve someone who will not fall at the first hurdel, or any setback we may have to face together in the future.

      To see things more clearly and focus on myself, still lots of things in my life make me happy.

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  • [Old Memory]
    13 years ago

    get someone else

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    • cherrytomato
      13 years ago

      i dont want to date right now.But i guess going out with friends, meet some new people will be good for me.

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  • dappled
    13 years ago

    You sound intelligent enough and self-aware enough and human enough to get past this. It's going to be difficult, but you seem like the kind of person who can deal with difficult. In short, I have no answer for you other than that I think you can do it. Hang on in there!

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    • cherrytomato
      13 years ago

      thanks, i am trying hard, wake up this morning feel really sad, thinking if he come back to me, what would i say to him?

      Well, its just daydream, keep reminding myself be real.

      Thanks again, i will remember your word--i can do it!

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  • 8Serene8
    13 years ago

    It's easier to get over someone if you hate them honestly. Which for some people it's hard to do. I dunno. I hate every guy I've dated in the past. It was my way of getting over them.

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    • blndgrl18
      13 years ago

      i read a quote once that said something about it's easier to get over someone when you hate them because the moment you forgive them, you start missing them. while this can be good for you in the short run, it may not be good for you in the long run. what happens if you hold onto that hate but end up running into him one day? old feelings come rushing back because you never dealt with them. mourn the loss, cry the tears, and go through all the motions. once you get that out of the way, start living life for you, the way that you want to, and God will place something good in your hands.

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    • cherrytomato
      13 years ago

      Thanks for you comment.I dont hate him, i wished that i could hate him, to tell myself "he's a asshole, not worth it"it might be easy for me to move on.

      But no, we had a good time, made me really happy, and yes,its his choice to break up with me, my heart is broken becasue of him, his been selfish to ask take me back while he didnt think things through, gave me hopes and rejected me again.

      I think the truth is that he dont love me anymore, it could be with anyone as long as live in the same place, but not me.

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  • spam_free
    13 years ago

    Drugs and alcohol and one night stands work for me

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    • maacri
      13 years ago

      My dear,
      No Work, No effort, No techniques can make you get over someone you loved.. its impossible.

      The ONLY way
      *Start loving him UNCONDITIONALLY (just as a human)
      *NEVER try to forget him.
      *Let him be there, You do your works.
      *start celebrating your life, Not as an escape from him, but because you WANT to do that

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      • ladybug12345
        12 years ago

        @maacri

        The ONLY way
        *Start loving him UNCONDITIONALLY (just as a human)
        *NEVER try to forget him.
        *Let him be there, You do your works.
        *start celebrating your life, Not as an escape from him, but because you WANT to do that

        Thank you so much for this word,...
        I'm trying to move on from someone i love.
        We are friends, he knows that i like him but he told me that someday i will find someone who deserves me (maybe he wants me to make me feel better because he doesn't feel the same)
        I'm keeping myself busy and surrounds myself with good people and friends.. most of the time at the end of the day i still think about him, it hurts so much..
        I'm praying really hard for me to know the grand plan why I'm hurt....
        I do love him.... and eventhough it hurts so much I'm trying my best to let go and move on but it hurts i swear it hurts...
        Though we still communicate and act as friends just like before.. and he has a girlfriend... and i feel so guilty.. i respect their relationship and i ruin our friendship..

        I think i need to forgive myself first..

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