he would rather stay friends instead of take a chance

My absolute best friend is male and we have a mutual attraction towards one another. I have had other male close friends in the past but the experience was nothing like this friendship. Even though we claim to be nothing more than friends, he has told me very affectionate things and has told me he wants to do things with me that friends don't do. For example, he wants to have sex with me and be the only one, yet he doesn't want to date me. He tells me all the time that he loves me and has told me deeply personal things about him that he claims he hasn't told anyone else.
I sometimes show my frustration with him and he is aware of how I feel. He claims to feel the same way; he just feels that he has a greater chance of losing me if we had a relationship. He said he read a study of why so many couples don't work out. It's because as the people get older their ideal lover matures and changes with them. He feels like that's the reason why we would eventually end and he said he never wants to lose me. He'd rather be my best friend.

Voting Results
54% Normal
Based on 26 votes (14 yes)
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Comments ( 8 )
  • ArayaLioness

    It makes sense to me. Though some people boast of having great relationships with people they were best friends with, not all relationships are the same.

    He fears that something can happen between the two of you or both of you find that you're incompatible. Then you guys cease being friends.

    It's very sensible to me, but if you two have the chance to become something really special, I think it's better to allay his troubles.

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  • howaminotmyself

    I met my best friend nearly 15 years ago. We were married 6 years ago. Today, he is still my best friend. The reason we work is because we have that foundation of friendship. The relationships that last are the ones with a strong foundation.

    Your friend sounds like a big chicken. It takes two to make a relationship fail or work. If he doesn't want it to fail, it wont. And if it really is a good match, nothing will change that. Not even acknowledging a commitment.

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  • thegypsysailor

    Ten years in a great relationship beats the hell out of being alone for those ten years.
    If this cat is that insecure, then it really is a good thing that he doesn't have a relationship, because he wouldn't make a very good partner. Keep him as a friend and go find a man with some backbone to be your lover.

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  • MoonlightSin

    I'm sorry but this isn't sweet. This isn't good. He might be using you. Im going to put it out there. I'm telling you because I know. My brother does this with so many females and they're head over heels with him. He tells them "deep" things about himself to gain their trust to have sex with him. But hey. Not every guy is the same. He should risk being in a relationship with you if he really feels that way towards you. I agree with the username howaminotmyself. It takes two to make the relationship fail or work. It depends how strong the love for each other is and the commitment. If he's a big chicken, he shouldn't even push you as far as he is to be saying that. Hes a loser. You either tell him to ask him to be your girlfriend and be faithful to you and have something real instead of being something fake like being friends with benefits. Or you either find yourself a real man that would put everything on the line and be something real with you.

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  • RoseIsabella

    *farts *

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  • ginsters101

    He's wrong. If/when you get in a 'full' relationship with another guy he will be pushed away (your partner will not tolerate you having another male best friend).
    So he will lose you anyway - he should take the risk.

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  • Rebel_2

    The first time he told me the reason why, I thought it was sweet as well because it killed any doubts about him I had. But I slowly went back to being frustrated because I feel like he's just afraid.

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  • regisphilbin

    i think this is very sweet

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