19f never been in a relationship and...
First off I know it's normal. I'm fine with it but... I'm a loner. I'm decently attractive. However Ii haven't had much social interaction with people. I've never had a boyfriend and until a few months ago had never even cuddled someone. We had hung out two times prior. I was super awkward but I loved it.
I'm considering being a mutual oral buddy with the guy I cuddled but the whole idea of being sexual (although I do have a sexual side) is so weird. He is a virgin as well and has only given oral. A great guy and I'm very sexually attracted to him but we don't click long-term relationship-wise.
Sorry if I'm all over the place. But basically I guess I haven't had a lot of social interaction (I'm super awkward around some people. Can barely talk) and also haven't had to grow up too quickly. Part of me wants to have fun and explore this side of myself but I guess it's a vulnerability thing. I can barely even see myself in a long term relationship. I'm just so used to being independent but part of me wants that some day.