Ask Your Question today
So I am 25&1/2 years old, and I have never ever been kissed. I get to thinking about it and I just can't believe it. Honestly it freaks me out cause its so weird. People tell me Im a beautiful girl, people like me, Im definitely strait, but I have never been in a situation where I feel ok kissing someone. If a guy tries, I dodge. So what is my problem anyway?
I think people might be amazed how many people in their 20's are still virgins, myself included (25 and a half, also!) I've kissed guys before, but it was never serious and the longest relationship I've been in was about a couple of months.
It's easy to just tell someone not to worry about being a virgin and "your time will come," but it's quite another to live with this stamp of childish innocence called VIRGIN every day. I totally empathize with you. I feel like I'm not admitted entrance to a special adult club of sexuality, even though I've been told I am beautiful and very attractive by guys and my friends. Yet, every day it's in the back of my mind, some kind of growth I need to chop off before it's too late and I'm an old lady with cats. It seems like EVERYONE around me is getting laid or in love or something in between. My ideals are very feminist but old fashioned at the same time. I want to own my sexuality and be free, but at the same time I want to be in love when I have sex for the first time.
But anyway, it's a different situation for everyone, so hang in there! At least you know that others are in the same boat as you, and your comment certainly made me feel better. I just think that a person's sexuality shouldn't be normalized. For me, having sex is scary because of the usual terrors... pregnancy, emotional attachment to someone who most likely will leave you, STD's, etc. (lets be honest, guys can be a-holes and suffer little consequences)
Intimacy for some is no big deal but it shouldn't be stigmatized if you're more cautious about it. I dunno, I think you're fine and wouldn't worry too much. Go out, go dancing, get some cute boy drunk and just practice kissing on him instead of waiting for mr. charming pants to fall in love with you. It's what I do! I've been told its a skill you practice, not something that magically happens. Disney and their lies!
Good luck !
Haha oh I enjoyed reading that! I totally agree with you, guys really dont know how these things affect a girl and they can get away with so much! They ask for their heart as if it were a toy. I get a little ruffled when unworthy guys date fabulous girls and don't appreciate them. OK done with that, I am good. Funny story, I have a boyfriend now -also a 27 year old virgin -smoking hot prince charming type. He loves (and lives with) my crazy family and is smitten by me. He has not kissed me and says he wont till he is ready to tell me he loves me. Are Disney lies are comin to life? I'll just have to wait see
This makes me feel so much better. We all know we're not the only ones, but it's nice to see it in print! I'm 25 and a virgin. I've been with a guy for 5 years and we have a very special, close relationship, but he's also a virgin- 28- and I'm starting to accept the fact that maybe we're just not attracted to each otherr sexually, but love each other on a deeper level. So, I'm still waiting for that 'prince charming', unfortunately, because this relationship lasted 5 years, now I'm 25 and still have not yet experienced sex, so that's something ill have to explain to 'mister right' when he comes along. But I'm glad I stumbled onto your comments. There's nothing wrong with being a virgin past 20, 30, 40, etc. Its just society and the media telling us there is. You kiss when you're ready, you have sex, babies and a marriage when you're ready. Thank-you. :)
Your problem isn't a problem. Unlike most girls nowadays, you seem like the type to wait for the right moment, and not be a complete whore.
I commend you.
These people are so annoying.
Hunnie,only you know if you're a lesbian or not.And if you say you're not,I believe you.And anyways even if you were,it wouldn't matter.So either way,whatever.
Here's the deal.You've built this kissing thing waaaay too much up in your mind.And now that you're older,you're probably afraid that the guy will be able to tell you've never been kissed and that would embarass you,so instead you just avoid the thing altogether.
I know this is probably how you feel because I didn't get kissed until I was 20 years and that was because of basically anxiety beforehand and also the fear he'd "be able to tell."
Here's what you do.Get drunk,start dancing or talking with someone or whatever,and just go for it.Let him lead when he kisses you,he won't really be able to tell, just follow him.It's real real easy,there's nothing to it.
After you're done,you'll wonder what you were so nervous about to begin with,and then you'll be a little kissing machine afterwards :)
Good luck!!
Definitely been kissing my guy for a couple of weeks now. What can I say? It's AMAZING! I can't seem to get enough. Not at all what I thought it would remotely be like haha. But I like. IDK I'll leave ya'll to decipher but I don't think I have missed out at all by waiting for it. If there was a potential I would have done it earlier and if this does not work out I am not going to sad at all to have given this to him. It was for me the whole time anyways:-*
i'm thirteen and get called a slut for kissing too many boys, i think you should just let it happen, if a nice guy aproches you let him do so, its not hard, good luck :)x
Maybe you're just a prim type? So hard to find a Mr Right these days too.
The media just wants us to think that kissing any random person is normal, and that everyone's supposed to have kissed ANYONE by the age of 12 or 13. Maybe you're just waiting for the right person who's all yours. I think that's a beautiful thing. :)
I think its great the way you've come to accept this situation - I am a 23 yr old Male who's not too bad looking but i've never had a girlfriend, never kissed anyone and never had sex and I don't have a problem with it.
Forget what society says as normal - forgot what other people consider normal if you live till your thirty and never kiss anyone then as long as that is a decision you have made then there's no problem with it!
Lord I hope so!
Thanks for the feedback everyone. Even the ones mentioning the obscure solutions and theories. except for the one who thinks I'm ugly. Im actually pretty hot, I was just trying to be modest. :)
I, too, am a mid 20's virgin (25, to be exact), am not ugly, never had sex, and have never kissed a member of the opposite. My predicament has more to do with my extreme introversion, though.
In a way, I can understand how you feel about saving your first kiss for someone who truly means something to you, but I wouldn't wait until your wedding day to get it over with.
I wouldn't think kissing would be such a big deal, so long as it's a guy that you really like, and having some drunken makeout with some random dude, but it sounds like you're pretty firm on waiting for the right guy to kiss.
With that being said, you're attractive and you're very outgoing, which means it shouldn't be too long before you find the right guy.
I wish you luck, SugarPlumb.
When the right guy is there, he'll shove you up against a wall and smother you with his lips. So don't worry
I think that you're thinking about it very much,and you've made a huge deal out of it in your head.Relax,it's just a kiss.Give it to a guy that you like and he likes you back.You hesitate to do it because you think it's gonna be obvious that you lack of experience but it's not true.we all know how to do it in a way,it's genetic;)
when you meet someone you like enouph, dont worry. you will go for them.
I think that's great, actually.
It shows that you follow your heart. You know who's right for you and you aren't going to settle for less. You may not realize it, but you know what you want and by God you're going to have it. CJust be patient and one day that right guy will come along and you'll be glad you waited.
just do it with such a sweet nice guy ok, or keep it until ou get married okay.. or find reall lOve ... ummm i would lOve tro kiss your virgin lips baby lol hmmmmmmm taste honey
You probably better like women than men and youre just lonely and cant realise it
psssh!! i'm 25 too, soul sister. just had to hear my roommates screwing in the shower. if i wanted a deadbeat boyfriend 10 years older than me, i could have it tomorrow. You're of a different ILK. appreciate it.
I could offer to kiss you but I think you might as well skip that and go straight to sucking cock.
i guess you are waiting for the one you have the right to do if you are beautiful you shouldn't give your lips to anyone treasure yourself so the others will treasure you .
First thing you need is to get some wine/beer/liquor on board and then youll be good to go before you know it. Its that easy.
wasn't kissed till i was 24. the only reason is that the filthy little b**** said later she just fell in love with my lips. after we made out a few times and i fell stupidly in love with her since she was the first girl to ever show interest in me, she got tired of me and dumped me. i haven't been with a girl/been kissed since. i'm 39 now. i'm also still a virgin. but that's on purpose. like sugarbaby i feel the same way about kissing, that its a "love language", that should only be spoken between two that have an emotional understanding of each other.kissing to me is sacred and should only be done with someone who's kissing you back not just for their own pleasure but because they love you. if you love, you give. haters are takers. you're doing the right thing.
Wow, this is so encouraging. I'm in the same boat as you--never been kissed, no boyfriend, and definitely virgin. I was beginning to think that I was the only one. I think you're normal. Maybe just shy?
hey im just like you, i havent been kissed either in a 19 chick :)well i havent had a boyfriend i mean im not going to settle with anyone, im looking for someone special so im not just going to give away my first kiss to whoever. anyways i somehow see it as something special, no one has tainted these virgin lips and im just hoping that ill soon find a guy worthy of my lips.
:D
I think you answered your own question. Next time, don't duck - pucker up.
The first kiss is always awkward. You could try a male friend that you're close to and try it on, like a shoe!
Atleast then if you don't like it, you'll know what to watch for. :)
Sounds like latent attitude or sexual repression. Were your parents really conservative or really against affection? Did you ever see your mom or dad kiss anyone? I'd see a shrink.
You were probably molested as a child.
Not everyone likes to be kissed anyways...
This is the least of your problems.
It is actually very easy to get kissed/kiss someone; if you're in a club or at a party then there will be plenty of guys willing to kiss you. If you are truly bothered by it, then you may want to try out kissing on somebody you don't know, but I'm sure if you wait for someone special you'll feel far better about it.
I'm turning 26 in a week, haha just an update. Still no kissing but I'm good with that. I am pretty comfortable with myself all around and no I am not very awkward in social situtations, I'm actally quite the extrovert. I am amazed that there is a Phobia out there for me! Wow!
Some of what you all have said has been hitting home. I don't want to kiss just anyone, thats an intimacy that I would like to give only one person in my life. It may be wrong but whenever a guy has tried I don't feel like he deserves it. He tries too soon, he doesn't realize what he is asking, he is not seeing the importance of it. I think touch is my love language and if I don't love them yet (after a few dates when they try to go for it) I just can't. I guess I think I'm special or something. My choice I guess, I just wanted to see how the world would react since not many people share in what I am going through.
"I don't want to kiss just anyone, that's an intimacy that I would like to give only one person in my life. It may be wrong but whenever a guy has tried I don't feel like he deserves it. He tries too soon, he doesn't realize what he is asking, he is not seeing the importance of it."
...And, therein lies the problem. You are attaching *way* too much significance to the act of kissing. When a guy kisses you, it doesn't mean the he loves you, that he wants to spend the rest of his life with you. It probably just means that he *likes* you. It could mean more, but you can't assume that. Kissing is just a small step.
I normally kiss on the first date, if not sooner. If this hasn't happened by the second or third date, I assume that something is wrong. Or, that attraction is lacking.
The longer in life that you wait until you start kissing men, the more awkward everything is going to become. Moreover, the man you find "deserving" of your kiss may sense your awkwardness, when that happens--this may or may not be an issue. There is nothing wrong with practicing kissing on men whom you don't plan to be with; you are not "giving away" something precious.
Maybe none of the people that have tried to kiss you have had your heart. Or you might just have to be a little more open. When the times right you will get your kiss
do you feel very panicky and frightened when a guy tries to kiss you? because that might mean you have a phobia (Philemaphobia)...or you could just be very picky about who you lock lips with. At least people have TRIED, dont worry!
I am a 21yr old male and have rarely felt the urge to kiss anyone. I to have virgin lips, and it honnestly doesnt bother me. I believe it will all happen sooner or later. Just keep your head up, and the next time you are in a situation where a kiss would be appropriate mabye you could suprise the guy by kissing HIM. That way you would be in control, and if it didnt feel right, just stop. That way you initiated it and you wouldnt hurt his feelings by pulling away or stoping. And you would never have to do it again if you didnt want to.
do you feel indifferent to not having kissed anybody? Do you feel relatively asexual. Or perhaps you feel more comfort and safety in fantasies and masturbation? Sensitive questions.... are you generally awkward in social situations? Do you find it difficult getting close to people, and being open in general, and expressing yourself, or do you prefer your own company and a sense of independence?
You have probably just never felt comfortable with someone yet as you have built it up in your head, and the longer you have spent thinking about it, the bigger deal it has become and therefore the more awkward or unnatural it may feel now?
But if you generally feel indifferent to kissing and/or sex, perhaps even grossed out by it, there may be deeper psychological issues?
If you're with the right guy, he won't care if you screw up, so just don't worry.
Besides, kissing is easy. @.@
i think your seeing kissing as a big deal.
just get on with it girl!
even if it's not with the right guy. think of it as practice! =)
you're probably just nervous, just jump in there and try it :) you say guys have tried it on before, next time just brace yourself and go for it.
Lick my feet after I've been working 10 hours. You'll love kissing after that... Or get sick and die.
Congrads!
I'm a guy but... I didn't have a real kiss until I was 36 and fell in love for the first time. Its fine to treat kissing as serious. I have no regrets waiting all those years. I'm also still a virgin. My girlfriend (eventual fiancée) and I kissed *a*lot* :) She'd actually been married before. At first she treated me kind of like a museum exhibit when it came to talking about kissing and sex :) I told her not to hide anything or be afraid to talk about anything. She listened, and showed me all about kissing. Ultimately the relationship didn't work out. The fact of my kissing her was and continues to be the least of my concerns about our breakup. Don't stress over it, there are much more important things than kissing. I still consider it kissing important. However, I admit I'm not desiring another 36 years before doing it again :) I might be more inclined to kiss now.
Even thought people say your beautiful they might be lying
Im guessing your fat and ugly and no bidy wants to kiss you
Obviously No offense
Update for everyone:I have reached my 27th year with no kissing. I would not necessarily recommend it:)Haha. I highly doubt I will make it to 28, and I am pretty stoked on that. No I am not ugly, psychologically disturbed, mollested, and no you cannot take my first kiss, nice as it is of you to offer.
yes I am a virgin everything else sexual too, No I don't think there is reason to not kiss till i am married, although my older brother did and never regretted it. For all you other lip and otherwise-virgins hang in there! Stay true to yourself, don't let silly society tell you what is right:)
id gladly take your kissing virginity, kissing is wonderful, you are missing out, are you an actual virgin too??
OK, I get the feeling that adding the fraction to the end of the numerical value of your age is symptomatic of the exact reason you are still a virgin. You're a child in an adult body. You're not ready, and I bet sexual experiences aren't the only thing on the list of what you haven't let yourself experience in life. Hope you don't go overboard when you figure this out though, and get wreckless. Realize that there are guys out there OLDER than you that are in the same boat though. Get counseling. Doesn't mean your a freak or whatever, though. Everyone's got stuff to work on.
Your insecure, obviously. So, stop being such a pussy and get out there and make out!
yes people just don't want to say the truth because your a nice girl but really your just ugly no worries though I'm sure you'll find some one.