20 year old step- daughter making a fool of herself

Tell her that you are there to help her and that she can always relay on you emotionally.

since you have made the same mistakes you can have a heart to heart with her. tell her the mistakes you made and how much pain it caused you. you dont have to bring her into this it may just be you opening up as a friend. relating your experiences. she might go away and reflect on this in her own time. as far as advice to her, no i wouldnt

How on earth can you be a 28yo step mom?? to a 20yo??? Is this a typo? It's like you married your own dad. Gross....

Sometimes the best way to learn is to experience these things for yourself. You probably went through a phase similar to this, and so have many other women. I can see that you care a great deal about your stepdaughter and her well-being, so it's normal that her behavior may make you crazy.

Have empathy and give her all the guidance you can, but try not to have such a degrading or brash tone (like some of your statements above). You ARE her stepmom, so you might not be able to get away with being very heavy handed. She may be more willing to listen and heed to your advice instead of shutting you out based on how you talk to her.

you are only eight years her senior.

lol my husband is too young to tech be my father... but he fathered young. It all just works. =P plus just to update all and thank you for all polite comments. I was able to have a heart to heart with her and direct her as best as possible, and reminded her that self respect is SO important. <3 She is now doing well. She is my sweetie =) when I wrote this post I was just so taken back from what I was seeing from her. So ty again.

If you're 28 and she's 20, then how old is the guy you're seeing? :-S

Well maybe it's because guys suck and it's hard to find a guy who can fulfill her sexually. People can call me a slut but I'm not going to stay with a guy who is wasting my time with terrible sex. At that point it's time to move on to the next guy. Especially if the guys are treating her disrespectfully. Or it could be because her parents won't financially support her so she needs to rely on guys to do so. Sometimes guys are willing to offer emotional support and/or financial support to girls who will be their gf and have sex with them. Maybe she doesn't have a choice if she comes from a broken home. You mentioned that you are her stepmother which means there was a divorce... Idk why she is behaving like this but you are right to be concerned. I think it might be a serious underlying issue and counseling can be a big help. I didn't get any attention as a kid (except negative attention) and I acted like that, before I realized how bad and dangerous it is. She is at risk for rape, stds, pregnancy, prostitution etc. I know that you are concerned. I hope that she gets her act together. Try talking to her and being a friend to her.

I think you should start by getting her alone with you. Whether that be just the two of you in your car on your way somewhere, sitting in your living room, taking a walk, etc. Then spill it all.

You need to tell her exactly how you feel about the way shes acting. Of course not to call her slut, but tell her that her behavior is going and probably is already giving off the impression that she's "easy". Use your own words, but be sensitive. Let her know that you care, and that you used to do things like what you've been noticing shes doing, and when you did it it, it resulted in pain. You don't want her to get taken advantage of. You don't want her to make the same mistakes you did and get hurt. Thats why you're making this extra effort to speak with her about it.

She might not notice what other people see when she acts this way, but they probably don't see her in the best light, as even you, her own step mother, doesn't. Actually, her behavior is probably a result of something more serious then you and anyone else might think. If she relies on men as much as she does because of her emotional needs, maybe she needs to speak with a therapist.

Warning: Since you're getting into something personal(Her emotional problems. Relying on men.) throughout the discussion, she's probably gonna get pretty defensive. If she does reassure her that you're confronting her about this to save her ass from getting her heart broken. Tell her again that you were once the same way, and that she needs to understand that it's for her own good. Good luck!

tell her to have a little more self respect, and do something with her life. that's all i can think of. my cousin is kinda the same way...she has a child, but she's been neglectful toward her lately. she likes to get around. :/ good luck to you...