33 old, no friends, never had a girlfriend #please dont read,pathetic#

Just keep trying to meet friends. I go to the bar all the time and meet new people. Social skills dont always matter. Im autistic and I still go meet lots of people. Its all about not letting the few people who put you down effect you. Everyone meets people who like to put others down sometimes. Its part of life. Just dont let them get to you and tell them to go away. But there are also lots of people in your same situation. If you arent making friends at the local bar/club/hangout-spot, try somewhere else. Ive noticed some places I fit in well, and some places I dont. If I dont i just dont keep going there and look for somewhere else to go. I usually have liked going to stoner bars and rock venues. Sports bars and Hiphop clubs I dont fit in as well.

I know exactly where you are coming from as my situation only just changed recently myself, I'm still not convinced life doesn't suck though, only that it doesn't suck so bad. Do you have family? Cos I could imagine it would be worse without. TBH all the usual comments about self esteem don't mean nada. At the end if the day you can only rely on yourself and hope fate throws something up. Good luck chief!

I have social anxiety and depression....belive me I know how you feel..i have very few friends...never had a real girlfriend and am alone most of the time...some thoughts..

Most people are fucked up in some way...even those smiling happy people have problems...many of them major problems....social life also makes demands...every person in your life makes demands on your time, energy, resources...people who have active social and sex lives have to pay the price for that ...jealousy, rivalry, arguments, time...a lot of the good of social life is counter balanced by the bad...trust me you might wish you were single and alone again....so you may have an idealistic vision of that...even happy loving couples are bored much of the time...

however i do believe in the emd social life is worth the trouble and the fact that you are frustrated is a good thing..because you still want it...half the battle of anything is wanting it...because you will still work at it...so keep hitting on women because you are actually learning skills that will help you get them...even when you get rejected you learn something...like what does not work...be easy on yourself...every dog gets lucky sometimes...

I suggest that you get involved in a community center or do something else and you will make some friends-or you can volunteer, anything that gets you involved with people.

Use humor and courtesy to get people interested in you. If you come across as being needy or desperate you will just scare people away. No one wants to deal with other people's problems and loneliness.

Also don't even think about a girlfriend until you have a job, unless you find one in a similar situation. But you have to sort your life out first. Once your working many other things will fall into place-plus as least you can pay your way when dating.

You're not alone in your situation-others have gone through similar things, but keep your head together. Focus on the goals you want to obtain and work towards, whatever they are. But a job is the most important thing you need right now-being on social assistance is a terrible place to be. Yes it's paying your bills, but there's no dignity in it-you need to earn a paycheck, good luck.

Man you need to see a Doctor seriously, you have some major mental issues dude.

well that's weird

You lost all sympathy when you used a hashtag

You need to move to a new town. Get a job as a server at a restaurant in a beach town. Its the most social easily aqired job out there. It will literally force you to talk to strangers to make money. Then go out with coworkers after ur shift but be the quiet dude till u grow some confidence and know peoples story. Then say you just needed a new town after a bad breakup and this is your fresh start. Thank the group for helping you start anew and move on with your life and never look back. The past is the past. Learn to laugh and make people laugh. Good luck bro!

Another thought. Wheny ou get employed and back on your feet. Mail order bride?? It sounds bad. I saw a Dr.Phil segment on it though, and it actually didn't seem all that bad. Society had a weird view on it, but it's actually just like online dating apearantly. Also, maybe try online dating. Take a stand!

I didn't read all that. Sorry... :( But I wanted to comment. If you have something like this in your area, try craigslist. They have a section there for looking for a realtionship or friends. It sounds liek it couldn't hurt to try. Or maybe try moving and rooming with some people you could potentially become friends with.

Your 33 if you've not worked it out by now you never will. This is you, this is your life, accept it.

I honored your wish and didn't read it.

For one, you need to stop all the negative self talk, because that's only going to keep you trapped in this cycle you've found yourself in.

Perception does not just effect your mood, but your outcomes as well. It's the Law of Attraction... we attract what we project. If you go into situations already projecting these negatives vibes, that you're "weird" or "socially inept" or whatever else you project onto yourself... you're already setting yourself up to behave that way. Beliefs are only thoughts that you gave enough attention to for them to grow. You change the beliefs by identifying and changing these thought patterns.

Actually, let me just link you to an article about this... it's a bit long but it's definitely worth the read. :)

http://www.wellbeingalignment.com/how-to-love-yourself.html

You get only one life dont waste it for others, people bully you because you let them to, go to gym workout talk with a loud voice and about freinds and girlfriend people always likes a person who is always happy so have fun laugh go out get drunk go fuck a whore, just dont care about what others think let yourself free !

"when I gave a trust into peoples hand I ended up being hurt"
...which is why you are probably lonesome today

"I feel I need to 'depend' on friend or girlffriend to feel allright to keep me going"
...this is probably why you always end up getting hurt, you rely on others and only end up getting taken advantage of.

I dont blame you for wanting to rely on the support of others. So many humans get to have that privilege, why not you (why not me). But lets face it, you have made it all this way without anyone and now your breaking down. You say you are lacking motivation but this exactly the kind of motivation you need.

This is me being optimistic: with your history i will doubt you will find what you seek after this mental breakdown. If thats true, you can either jump off the ledge or you can keep on moving through life.

In fact, without employment i would be a total shut in. I do however seem to get by working in team environments, like a kitchen. local eventually professional. Am i chef, no way. I dont have the talent to create recipes and conceptualize menus. I do however love the hustle and bustle of a busy night. the dirty jokes that riles everyone up (that i normally wouldn't care for except, its just so funny). the shame of ruining an entire tray of overcooked chicken thighs or the feeling of pride you get while you make that finishing touch on that VIP dish you just sent out.

No friends, no girlfriend? Well atleast it aint just me... Break down after 30 years? Good, time to make upgrades anyway right? And watch, im sure ill see this quoted in someones book one day, of course without ANY kind of credit or royalties.

What you just did felt good, no? Writing about your emotions? Keep doing that. It helps, really. Try to find more ways to vent your emotions. Whether it is through art, sports or something else is up to you.

If you feel suicidal, it's vital that you visit a therapist. I know that this is a taboo to some people, but mental healthcare is important. Look at it this way: If you break your leg, you should visit a doctor. And just like that, if you get depressed, you should visit a therapist.

Disregard the advice of 'continuing life without people'. That'll only make you sink deeper in a depression. There's no quick fix to this sort of thing, so don't expect one. Just start with small steps. Try to make a plan for improving your life, and keep it realistic.

If I were you, I'd start off by getting some exercise. In fact, go for a run today. It's the most reliable way to boost your mood.

Sign up for a few websites, social, there are tons of them, get a job, hobbies, go back to college if you need to. Get a girlfriend... if you take my advice DO NOT TELL THAT STUFF ON THE SOCIAL SITE

you have been lonesome all this time?! Why need friendship now?