Would you secretly want a possessive partner who is obsessed with you?

Your partner being super infatuated with you to the point of possessive obsession, at least at the start of a relationship. Is that something that (maybe secretly) turns you on? Like you might not admit to it publicly, but secretly, deep down inside, you wouldn't mind it if your partner was a little obsessed with you at the start? If your partner was super clingy, possessive and always wanted to be around you (during the honeymoon phase, or early stages of the relationship), you would find it sexy?

You ever feel that way?

Is It Normal?
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Comments ( 21 ) Sort: best | oldest
  • I do not like possessive people they creep me out.

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    • Fair enough. Although possessive behavior at the start of a relationship might not mean the person is possessive. They could be just stressed, infatuated, and uncertain of your feelings for them. Once you reassure them, many actually relax and stop the possessive behavior.

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  • Nope, if someone was as clingy as you are describing I would run away from them. I belong to no other human being, but myself. I think a person would have to have extremely low self esteem, and no self respect in order to want the kind of bullshit you have described.

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    • Why low self esteem and no self respect?

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      • ... because most normal people, and I'm certainly not normal myself, would feel suffocated, and uncomfortable with someone so possessive, jealous, needy, controlling and obsessed.

        Only a person who genuinely feels unloved, and unworthy of love would fantasize, or want someone so suffocating, and downright obsessed for a partner.

        I'm certainly not the healthiest person, but I could NEVER love someone who was as jealous, posessive, controlling and obsessed as what you're describing. My constant, and only thought would be how do I get the fuck away from this psycho person!

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  • I'm clingy as fuck so I like when my partner is clingy. But I want then to stay clingy. Real relationships last longer than the honeymoon phase

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    • Just seems that as a relationship stabilizes over time, you both become more certain of each other's presence in your life. Then you no longer really feel the need to hold hands every time you are together, or glomp them, and just feel comfortable and relaxed in each other's presence. Infatuation is more of a thing in the beginning of a relationship. As you get to know your partner better, the relationship transforms into a more chill relaxed form of love, where you share everything with each other, and have no doubt of your partner's love for you. Because doubt is completely removed, you no longer feel that strong need for your partner to show their feelings for you. Because you already know, and can completely rely on them, whatever happens.

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      • Thats not how I roll in the slightest. Can't connect with it I thr slightest. When I start climging I don't stop. Nor do I hide anything ever. I'm straight up from the beginning about everything.

        I don't date anyone that I doubt or am not fully comfortable around to start with.

        Infatuation is definitely not just in the beginning. Maybe now days for those obsessed with instant gratification.

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  • No, it’s annoying

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  • Not normal. It is a red flag of an abusive person who feels entitled to dictate someone else. Something wrong with both sides in those relationships.

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  • When it becomes boring it will turn into your hell.

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    • That's why I said: at the start of a relationship. If your partner is clingy or a bit obsessed in the beginning, that does not have to mean they will always be like that. Relationships mature and people mature. I think people can feel and act a little obsessed (or seem that way to outsiders) in the beginning of a new relationship, because the feelings are so fresh and there can be some uncertainty. What if your feelings are not reciprocated? That's a normal question to ask. Once the relationship stabilizes and it becomes clear that both partners feel the same way and care just as much, most people relax around each other.

      Your partner acting obsessed with you at the start of the relationship does not have to mean they are an obsessive person. Maybe it's just the stress and novelty of the situation, or emotional baggage from past relationships (worry you might leave them) that makes them feel that way. And once you reassure them that you're not planning on going anywhere, that you really like them and want to be with them, they will stop acting all possessive of you. Then they chill and start acting more natural, more relaxed.

      Naturally, obsessive people and possessive people also exist. And if your partner keeps acting obsessed with you post-honeymoon phase, then they probably are like that. And yes I can see how annoying that could be.

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  • 😈

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  • If she was young and pretty, sure!

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  • Id rather be the possessive one

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    • Why? Do you doubt your partner's commitment to you? Have you been cheated on before?

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  • No, not at all. In fact, that scares me.

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    • Why does attention scare you?

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      • Clingy and controlling behavior scares me. I am a person who really needs my space and is also very independent, so I wouldn't like this at all. Not to mention that clingy and obsessive behavior gets creepy fast, and controlling/possessive behavior is a huge red flag in a relationship IMO.

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