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ive struggled for 14 years now with self harm (in the form of cutting/burning) and im heavily scarred up, from wrists to shoulders and some areas of my torso and thighs. yes, im in therapy and getting help now, been seeking treatment since i was 14 years old.
my question, is would you ever date a girl (or guy) with self harm scars? would it be a turn off? please explain why or why you wouldnt.
| no | 11 | |
| maybe | 11 | |
| yes | 37 |
Honestly probably not
1) highly unlikely they like me
2) i am terrible at relationships and i would only make things worse
Yes. They’re just like anyone else, but with depression and scars. They need love too.
people who cut themselves are human too and need love and affection as much as the next person. i dont know why someone wouldnt want to date someone who has self-harmed even if they're ideal for them
If they were in treatment and getting better yes. And if they were doing it but I could help them yes again. I’d love them like I would anyone else and not view their scars as a deformity but instead as a battle that they were strong enough to win.
Honestly it depends. If they're no longer cutting and they got help, then yes. Otherwise no because I honestly can't deal with someone who self harms.
I don't see why not... Every girl needs love. I would love her and always be there for her, so she never has to resort to self harm ever again.
I would definitely date someone with scars. I would actually like to get to know you if that’s possible.
Yes. 2 reasons.
1) I'm naturally driven to help people feel better about themselves so finding someone going through a depressing time and giving them the impetus to try and beat their depression for good is a challenge I relish.
2) Scars are simply chapters of your life that you wear on your skin. I have a few of my own (not self-harm scars but scars nonetheless) and we could share stories of how we got them all. I'm sure conversations will never be dull.
It doesn't matter how heavily scarred you are. True beauty lies on the inside.
If their still doing it I would want to help them but it could cause a lot of drama.
I use to have similar issues and I have plenty of scars I would say apart of me would get depressed knowing if a woman I was in love with was doing self harm.
I dated, and married, a woman who was a cutter when she was younger, and whenever things weren't going well for us, I was always on the lookout for signs she was doing it again. Was mostly wrong, but, did see some marks on her upper arms a few times. She denied it of course, but I knew..She was at it again.
Just had to wait until that feeling blew over for her. Wasn't much I could do about it.
NOPE. Long ago, I had a girlfriend with BPD that cut to relieve stress. There's lots more to BPD that is mentally unhealthy other than just scars. Count me out.
i have whats called quiet or acting in bpd, have some traits but not all manifest in the traditional way, and considering i first started getting help at age 14 i dont do a lof of what bpd people do, i dont do passive aggressive or manipulative shit or abuse etc etc. i may have thoughts/feelings but instead of acting on them i discuss with my therapist instead. i care more about others than i do myself. lets not generalize an entire group of people based off of one case. shit like that is exactly why a LOT of mental illnesses are stigmitized and no one wants to seek out help
Yes but it depends on how clean and how emotionally stable they are.
I used to cut my legs when I was 12-14, so physical marks don’t bother me.
If they would hurt themselves ,they might also hurt u too ,so I would have to say no !!!
It would depend on how bad the scars were, and whether or not the person was still actively cutting or not. Also how long has it been since the last time the person cut, and whether or not the person was actively pursuing healing and recovery.
why does how bad they are matter? like i get wanting to know if they are still doing it and how long ago. lets say they havent done anything in 10 or more years, but the scars appearence themselves are bad (like some needed stitches, or keloids and raised scars). thats kinda unfair in that case
I see what you are saying, and you are free to think it's unfair all you want. However, this is my life, and only I get to decide who I am interested in and who I want to date. It doesn't matter if it's fair or not, because this is my life, and don't have to date anyone I don't want to date, and neither does anyone else. Someone asked a question, and I answered it.
Their personality would be more important to me than the appearance of the scars.
Then again, the scars suggest mental problems that they may relapse into. That I have issue with.
literally every has baggage, some just shows on the outside. hightly doubt your perfect yourself. i suppose tho some mental illnesses i guess are easier to deal with than others, so from that perspective i kinda get where you're coming from.
Yeah. I know I have baggage that I myself would bring into a relationship or a family, which makes me reluctant to form relationships.
Only so much can be hidden sometimes.
There's different types of baggage, and some would be more difficult for certain people to deal with than others.
I've self-harmed, but not really cutting. Still, one major issue that having a relationship with a mentally ill person poses is not being able to understand them, and communicate properly.
Depends on the person. I camt stsnd depressed people. Tge obes i meet i are never willing to cheer up no matter the situation amd frankly it gets on my nerves. Im one of those wete the moods of others affects my mood