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Why now I been living with this guy for three 3 year I ask is he happy in the relationship or what are future plans and he told me to back away but not end the relationship just stop talking about us and are further plan but why at first we was like talking about getting engaged and married but he doesn’t want that now he even stop saying I love you to me he been so distant
Hes getting cold feet. It's nice to plan but when it comes to actually committing it takes a little more initiative that he may of not thought through completely.
So hes probably thinking his life over, if you snuff him hes likely not to take you up on an offer of engagement. Or he assessed that you are in fact not the person he wants to spend the rest of his life with and now would objectively be the easiest time to voice concerns.
I dunno why, but it seems his feelings for you have cooled, and I highly recommend that you start planning your exit strategy now, honey.
It's hard to say. One possibility is that he is having doubts and is in a state of paralysis over what to do.
It seems logical to me that he would be in this state because he is not sure whether anything he could decide would make him happy in the long run. Breaking up with you would mean the loss of the most significant person in his life and he doesn't know if he can handle the loss or disruption; becoming engaged to you means that what he already has will become permanent and he doesn't know if he can handle the permanent continuation along the life trajectory that he's currently on. He's stuck.
It's a self-centred way to look at things but it's his life as well as yours, and so at some point he probably has to look at things this way if he's a thinking person. If he's a healthy person too, he shouldn't be stuck in this mindset for an extended period of time. I think the best thing you can do while you wait is to be patient and gentle.
That is, if the cause is actually that he's having doubts and in need of some time to think/feel things through.
I think it is. I'm kinda just kicking the can down the road when it comes to my own marriage date. I've already proposed the most perfect woman, yet that commitment to marriage is still hanging over ominously. It feels like 45% of my brain is 100% ok with it. And 55% inconclusive, I can now understand why people stay fiancees for 3+ years, granted I'm still under a year for my proposal date but I can really sympathize with making that jump.