Why is someone offing themselves seen as a bad thing?

Why is it seen as bad? What's wrong with people choosing if they die or not? People in the hospital choose all the time if somebody lives or dies, and that is just fine and dandy, but when somebody chooses themselves if they live or die it is bad? If it is okay to kill someone in the hospital, then it should be okay for somebody to kill themselves.

Voting Results
46% Normal
Based on 26 votes (12 yes)
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Comments ( 176 )
  • donteatstuffoffthesidewalk

    it goes against the minds hard wired instinct for self preservation

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    • bigbudchonger

      Yeah, you're spot on with this.

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  • Holzman_67

    Well I suppose that depends on how invested you are in the person and their life, their relationship to you. My best friend killed himself and it was like going through a really bad breakup, a part of me died as well, grief is love with nowhere to go, he took the culture of our friendship with him, I am now sole proprietor

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    • bbrown95

      I'm so sorry for your loss! That is heartbreaking.

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    • And what are you talking about? I asked "Why is someone offing themselves seen as a bad thing?" not "Why is someone offing themselves over a person seen as a bad thing?".

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      • Holzman_67

        You’ve failed to see the connection and the conclusion you’ve drawn is innacurate and not my intention. Not having a go, I’m commonly misunderstood, it’s probably more to do with my communicative methods.

        “Bad thing” in itself is broad in its scope. Do I see my friends suicide as a good thing? No. So then it’s natural to assume I see it as a bad thing, as that is the opposite of a good thing. And why? Because of what I commented, I was invested in his life and our friendship.

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        • hauntedbysandwiches

          I'm convinced OP is a serial killer.

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          • Lol😂 That's probably because I am. Yeah, I kidnapped this blonde girl, tied her up, and stabbed her. It was a bloody mess! Her intestines her hanging everywhere. Oh, and there was a LOT of screaming lol. She looked like a screamer. Just got done chopping up her body last night. Oh, and I have to say, blood looks great in blonde hair.

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        • Yeah, I can see why you're commonly misunderstood.

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          • Holzman_67

            Yeah, that's all good though, I think we've opened up dialogue now and resolved a few misconceptions :)

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            • 👍

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      • Holzman_67

        You’re quite aggressive with words on a delicate subject. This observation comes with concern, people who speak about such matters in such a way makes me wonder about their emotional welfare. Are you ok?

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        • Oh, fuck off already🙄 yes, I am fine. And aggressive? When?🤨

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          • Holzman_67

            Well that’s not very nice. My concern was genuine.

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            • Okay? Do I care? No. I didn't ask for your concern, now did I?

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          • Holzman_67

            I’ve been there, and if you’re hurting it’s ok, I understand. Here to talk if and when you’re ready, I’ve already forgiven you 🙂

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            • Okay, good for you. I am good. And I couldn't care less if you have "forgiven" me.

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          • Holzman_67

            Why post on here if you’re not willing to discuss your post?

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      • Holzman_67

        And for the record, he didn’t kill himself over a person, I’m not sure how you came to that, but all good.

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        • I didn't say he killed himself over a person. How did YOU come to that conclusion?

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          • Holzman_67

            "And what are you talking about? I asked "Why is someone offing themselves seen as a bad thing?" not "Why is someone offing themselves over a person seen as a bad thing?"

            I don't wish to argue with you, but I acknowledge that sometimes one needs to vent and is looking for an argument, so if it helps we can continue to argue, but I'd prefer we talk civilly, if possible.

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            • bigbudchonger

              You seem like a nice person. I think the way you phrased your original question put OP off though. I know you were only trying to help, but when you question someones emotional welfare people often take it as an attack.

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            • I never said I wanted to argue with you? 🤨

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  • RoseIsabella

    I know it's cliché, but suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

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    • Somenormie

      Has suicide been sometimes a temporary solution?

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    • And..? And you are another one of those people that make every single problem out to be temporary.

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      • RoseIsabella

        No, that's your perception of me, and I'm sorry you feel that way. I have been steadily wrestling with my own demons since I was a teenager, and I'll be 52 years old tomorrow! For almost 40 years I've been dealing with depression, and anxiety. I didn't start to really get talk therapy, or medication until I was in my twenties. When I was a teenager, and in my early twenties I got virtually no mental healthcare despite a suicide attempt. I came from a family that was ignorant about mental healthcare, people who were and still are very ego driven, and believed that I should be able to pull myself up by my bootstraps. Over the course of my life I've been seriously suicidal, and made three failed attempts. I didn't find a good therapist who specializes in some of my particular, and specific issues until I was 39 years old!

        Life is a journey, not a destination. I know there are people who are fighting depression, anxiety, insomnia, C-PTSD and many other mental health conditions who have made great strides in their recoveries, and I would like to improve my mental health conditions as much as possible. I think I am worthy of the opportunity to heal my life, and so are you!

        I'm glad that as far as killing myself goes I have been a failure, because my life has improved much over the last 13, or 14 years. It hasn't always been easy, but it's certainly been worth it to work on improving myself, and my life. I know it's easier said than done, but please don't give up on yourself, OP!

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        • Asstastics

          Love you, Rosie. ♡

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          • RoseIsabella

            💓🌹🕊😊

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        • And what makes you think i'm thinking about suicide? 🤨 and please, just know, not everybody is as lucky as YOU.

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          • GaelicPotato

            Typical OP. Rosa shares a heartwarming story about recovery and optimism, and OP manages to spin it into something negative.

            What a dick.

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      • bbrown95

        While not every problem is temporary, that doesn't necessarily mean it's not possible to come to terms with it and get to a point to where you can live with it and find some peace with the situation. I think that may be part of what Rose means by "temporary"; the feeling of it being unbearable and having a controlling impact on your life is temporary, as many times, people can eventually cope with things (though I'm definitely not implying that it's easy).

        For example, an excruciating and life altering event that feels worth ending your life over now, may not feel that way months, years, or decades from now. Obviously this isn't ALWAYS the case, but more often than not it is.

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        • Regardless, I don't think it should be seen as a bad thing. If someone wants end their life, then they should be allowed to do that.

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          • bbrown95

            I have to admit, I can definitely see where you are coming from. It's very unfortunate when people are suffering from that much misery, and I just wish there was a way to fix it for all of them so they didn't feel that was their only option.

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      • MonteMetcalfe

        Because they are. The dark feelings will pass if you are patient enough.
        I've had moments where I felt at the precipice but I just rode it out. Today I'm old enough to say "fuck it" aint nothing worth offing yourself over.

        Unless of course you had late stage cancer or if you had something really embarrassing lodged up you butt and were too embarrassed to go to the hospital.

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        • Yet another person that thinks all dark feelings go away. And it really doesn't matter.

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  • Mini69

    Are you talking about suicide because someone is at rock bottom, or are you talking about euthanasia because someone no longer has any quality of life and is living with constant suffering?

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    • 1234tellmethatyoulovememore

      That's a significant difference, definitely.

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    • Suicide in general.

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      • Mini69

        Well statistics suggest that the majority of attempted suicides are actually a cry for help by people who don’t actually want to die at all.

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        • That's hilarious. And there is still no difference. You're point is..?

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          • GaelicPotato

            That's funny to you? The fuck is wrong with you?

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          • Mini69

            The point is that along with all the other reasons why it is a bad thing, is the fact that most of the attempted suicides don’t actually want to die at all.

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            • That doesn't make suicide a bad thing, really. P.s. why jump off a bridge, or hang yourself as a cry for help? Do something that can kill you as a cry for help? Slit your wrists as a way of asking for help? Really?Pathetic.

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  • techpc

    I think most loss of life is a bad thing. Barring some criminals and things like dying of old age, death is not in my list of good things. That includes suicide.

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    • It really isn't. Death is a natural thing and it is going to happen. At the end of the day, NOBODY is going to live forever. And suicide? That isn't a bad thing either.

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  • Clunk42

    I provide the opposite suggestion: neither of those acts are acceptable.

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    • RoseIsabella

      I do not disagree with you.

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    • Well, at least you are not a hypocrite.

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  • Tinybird

    I've thought about it too when I was in a dark place. But now I am so glad that I am alive and didn't go through with it. I hate that I considered that my only option at the time without realising things could get better or my situation could change.

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    • Not everybody is as lucky as you.

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  • hauntedbysandwiches

    I think it's because many times it could have been prevented like if they had depression and weren't even getting help for it. If they were bullied nonstop and already had severe anxiety or low self esteem, the right kind of therapy could prevent it.

    There are obviously times where therapy isn't effective i.e Robin Williams had severe depression for many many years and he was in therapy for quite a while but for some reason it wasn't helpful enough and he was also diagnosed with Lewy Body Dementia so I'm sure that also was a big factor. And those with debilitating illnesses where they have little to no freedom or life. M.E(myalgic encephalomyelitis), M.S(sclerosis), etc that is also awful because when they take their own life you wish there were a cure so they could have enjoyed their life and not suffered every day.

    Then there's just the fact that these are people. They're your friends, your family, your neighbor, coworker, etc. It's sad because you don't want them to disappear..you want them to have a full life and especially not to end it short. It's just depressing overall. But when they're struggling for many many years and are in treatment for it and it doesn't help, I think they should have the option of euthanasia.

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    • Hookerfall

      Lol your username

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    • And..? Regardless, suicide is not a bad thing. If a person want to end things on their own terms, then that should be fine. P.s. they were going to die anyways.

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      • RoseIsabella

        What have you been reading lately?

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        • hauntedbysandwiches

          OP is horrifying.

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          • Horrifying? How come? It is only the truth. Oh well, that is a common thing with people.

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        • Nothing.

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      • hauntedbysandwiches

        Are you insane? Tell me your username so I can block you.

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        • No, are you insane?

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  • Tommythecaty

    Because of the damage you do to all the people who care about you that are left to deal with it.

    It’s pretty obvious to any person who isn’t fully retarded, completely self centred, or both.

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    • "Because of the damage you do to all the people who care about you that are left to deal with it".

      It's always about other people.

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      • Tommythecaty

        As it should be, seeing as they’re the ones who deal with the actual fallout. Thinking it’s not about them at all just makes the person a tremendous piece of shit, nothing more.

        Duh.

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        • Because it really isn't about them. Not EVERYTHING has to be about somebody else. Realizing that doesn't make anybody a piece of shit. It is only the truth.

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          • Tommythecaty

            What about them, the pain they inflict on others should surely outweigh their own. You’d rather hurt yourself than hurt the people you love, surely.

            Things can be horribly hard for people to cope with, no doubt. But it’s better than hurting others because you think only of yourself and your pain.

            Suicide if one is terminally ill I understand, because everyone would understand it as necessary. Death can’t be avoided.

            If it’s just because you feel shit, which is a problem that can ALWAYS be fixed...well that is almost evil it’s so selfish and immature.

            Common sense and a brain bigger than a peanut is all it takes to understand the implications of suicide and why they “matter”.

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            • "What about them, the pain they inflict on others should surely outweigh their own. You’d rather hurt yourself than hurt the people you love, surely".

              "It isn't vice versa.
              Things can be horribly hard for people to cope with, no doubt. But it’s better than hurting others because you think only of yourself and your pain".

              Why continue to make yourself suffer? And you're basically living against your will all because of how people wil feel. Sometimes, I think it is okay to think of yourself for once. P.s. nobody, and I mean NOBODY cares about you when you're alive. And they will eventually forget about you. Life will go on as normal at some point for the people that claim they "care" about you.

              "Suicide if one is terminally ill I understand, because everyone would understand it as necessary. Death can’t be avoided".

              Exactly. Which brings me to something else i'd like to point out. Suicidal people are going to die anyways.

              "If it’s just because you feel shit, which is a problem that can ALWAYS be fixed...well that is almost evil it’s so selfish and immature".

              Yet another person that thinks that is something that can always be solved. No, it is not something that can ALWAYS be fixed. And it is a little bit evil to force somebody to live, even though their life is nothing but misery, don't you think? Why not let them end their suffering and pain? And it is very selfish to keep somebody suffering because of how YOU would feel if they were to end it. You're helping people by letting them end their suffering.

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  • raisinbran

    It's fine. Just be unlikeable and people won't care that much.

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    • GaelicPotato

      OP already got that going for him.

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      • Not really.

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        • GaelicPotato

          Yes, really.

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          • Not really. And even if that were the case, I said it myself. It doesn't matter.

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    • It doesn't really matter if people care or not.

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      • raisinbran

        Makes it easier, one less hurdle to overcome.

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        • Hmm, I guess.

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  • 1234tellmethatyoulovememore

    It's usually the circumstances and the hurt surrounding it that's the bad thing. My uncle and brother both shot themselves the same year and I actually came back to this site to ask if it's normal that it still bothers me, to the point there's certain songs I can't listen to, sounds I can't hear.

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    • Holzman_67

      Oh I’m so sorry to hear that, that’s loss of tremendous magnitude. I’ve lost someone too and if I can be of any help to you, please reach out. I found after my best friends suicide, this helped, I don’t know if it’s much, but if it helps some
      https://youtu.be/khkJkR-ipfw

      With you in solidarity. Hang in there, there are brighter days

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    • So really, it is only about YOU.

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      • 1234tellmethatyoulovememore

        I still love and will pray for you. I hope you find a path out of the pain you are currently dealing with.

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        • I am not dealing with any pain. What made you come up with that conclusion? 🤨 oh, and don't waste your time. Keep your love and prayers for somebody that wants them.😁

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          • 1234tellmethatyoulovememore

            Still going to pray for you. Someone with something not wrong with them does not act like you do, even if you are not aware of it. God bless.

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            • I'm going to ask you again. What made you come up with this bullshit conclusion? And trying to make somebody believe they have something wrong with them is a little bit assholish, don't you think? And in what way am I acting like I have something wrong with me?

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      • GaelicPotato

        Are you insane? This man is sharing a story about his grief and dealing with someone's suicide and you dare to verbally attack him for it.

        You're a sociopath. I really think you are.

        You have people here talking about suicide and how it affected their lives and you lack any and all empathy and all you can think about is proving your points.

        Horrible. Absolutely horrible. Seriously consider removing yourself from society and go live in a hut or something because you are a disgrace of a human being.

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        • "Are you insane? This man is sharing a story about his grief and dealing with someone's suicide and you dare to verbally attack him for it".

          You call this a verbal attack?

          "You're a sociopath. I really think you are".

          And? Okay, that's fine. Call me a sociopath if you want. Doesn't affect me. I was expecting someone to comment that anways.

          "You have people here talking about suicide and how it affected their lives and you lack any and all empathy and all you can think about is proving your points".

          No, it is true. It really is all about them.

          "Horrible. Absolutely horrible. Seriously consider removing yourself from society and go live in a hut or something because you are a disgrace of a human being".

          Pointless.

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  • aminormal_1

    because families will bear the pain and Guilt of losing a loved one. Even when that family member did not reach out to the person, they will realize how much they took for granted.

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    • 1234tellmethatyoulovememore

      Me, November 28, 2018: "No, I'll call my brother tomorrow. I'm tired."

      The next morning my mom and stepdad were at my door. They lived nine hours away and drove all the way there to tell me in person my brother shot himself in the head. He was 30.

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      • GaelicPotato

        I'm sorry for your loss.

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    • Oh, so that is what it is about? *sigh* it is always about other people.

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      • GaelicPotato

        Commit yourself into an asylum you sociopath.

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        • I'll think about it👍

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  • bbrown95

    Honestly, I think it is mostly hard on others when someone makes that decision. However, I think the difference between someone choosing to cut off a gravely I'll or injured person's life support and someone deciding to commit suicide is typically that the former has no chance short of a miracle for recovery and/or will have a horrible quality of life if they do survive, whereas in many cases (not all, of course), there are ways a suicidal person can be helped. I can't judge someone for feeling suicidal since I know how it feels (I was at that point once several years ago, but thankfully was able to come out of it), but the thought of losing someone to it is definitely heartbreaking, and there's always the thought of wondering if anything could've been done for them, whereas with someone on life support, typically all options have been exhausted.

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    • No difference. If it is okay to have killed the person "you love", then it should be okay to kill yourself. P.s. nobody is obligated to live, just like your relatives are not obligated to keep your life support on. Also, not every suicidal person can be helped. And besides, they will be saving themselves.

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      • bbrown95

        I never said anyone was "obligated" to live. I do agree that not all of them can be helped, sadly, but it is really unfortunate to see ones who might have been able to be helped choose that route. I am not debating whether someone should or shouldn't be able to do it, but I'm just explaining why it is commonly seen as a bad/sad thing in society.

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        • I know you didn't say anyone was obligated to live, I was just saying. And yes, I know you are just saying why society sees it as bad. Although, it is sometimes societies fault that someone killed themselves, don't you think?🤔

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          • bbrown95

            Sometimes it is, yes.

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  • FlubberRubber

    I feel like the only time suicides okay is if you’ve been diagnosed with a very painful/debilitating condition and have no way of improving your quality of life. Otherwise don’t encourage that shit. I’ve tried to kill myself multiple times, and one time I came extremely close to dying. It was a complete numb calm to the point where the lady in the ambulance talking to me about her suicidal ideations and how she overcame them didn’t phase me. I completely zoned out and felt nothing. It was peaceful in the most terrifying way possible and I didn’t know I could feel that numb. I’m still scarred by that.

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    • I am not encouraging suicide, but I am also not discouraging it. No matter what the circumstances are, it is okay if someone wants to end it all. They will die anyways.

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  • TypicalPerson_12

    I partly agree with this stance, if someone doesn't want to go on living then its their choice to commit suicide or continue on in hopes that it may get better. You can't make someone want to live or be happy, thats just the harsh truth. If that person has decided that living has become pointless, even with efforts to make it better, then they should be able to choose. Although, a fault in this idea is that there are people who emotionally abuse people and cloud judgement on life, as a result driving the person to commit suicide. Other instances like that I would have to disagree that there should be measures to step in and help that person get away from that abuse so they can judge for themself their interpretive meaning to life.

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    • Everything you said is correct. Although, even then it is okay if the person wants to commit suicide.

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      • TypicalPerson_12

        Why would you say that, because if theres a chance for that person to get a way from whats making them miserable then offer that chance to them. If they have still chosen for themselves that they don't want to live and can't be happy, even when away from the abuse, then so be it.

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        • Because it really just makes no difference. Regardless of the situation, if they want to die, then LET THEM.

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          • TypicalPerson_12

            I guess we can agree to disagree on that part.

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            • 👍

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