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I have always wondered why for a straight guy, imagining himself as gay is like a horrible thing. Straight guys will go to such lengths to try to defend themselves that they are not gay. But actual gay guys don't care. Why do you guys think straight guys are so horrified by the thought of being gay? Its not like homophobia where its other people, but the thought of themselves being gay.
Thoughts and comments welcomed!
Because they’re scared that gay men will treat them the way they treat women.
Despite what everyone says there is still a stigma.
Also I think people worry it changes the way their friends view their behaviour. Even if your friend isn't homophobic he may suddenly think you're coming on to him every time you make a gay joke or give him a hug if he suspects you are gay, and it could make things awkward. It's silly but some people still think this way.
I know it makes things awkward between guy friends. But then gay people want to be treted the exact same or else they get all pissed. And straight guys get hella weirded out when they think one of their friends might be gay and finds then attractive. Doesn't make sense to me.
I just find it annoying that straight men think all gay men are coming on to them. Talk about conceited and paranoid. Get over yourselves.
I'm sure it is annoying, but what is the solution? If I have a friend who is gay it is hard to not be a little weirded out at first.
It's not annoying it's just dumb. Solution - get over yourself. Not every gay man finds you attractive just as not every woman does. Just take it as a compliment anyway. If a woman is a attracted to me I don't feel threatened or weird. I just feel flattered. Think yourself lucky that someone actually finds you attractive.
It's not like you're going to have sex with them. I find most straight men are vile anyway. Mainly because of their attitudes.
A woman attracted to me as a straight man is different, because I am attracted to there gender. That is completely different than a gay guy showing signs of attraction to me. If a gay guy is getting too close for comfort and he knows I am straight, he needs to back the hell off, and that is his problem, not mine. You are also clearly biased since you "find most straight men vile anyway.." Are you gay and trying to get revenge on straight guys by telling them to get over it and that they are vile? Did some straight guys bully you for being gay in middle school or what? Because that is what it sounds like to me.
They think it would make them less masculine, which they view as a bad thing. I remember years ago when gay people started to become accepted in society, my brother's defence of gay people was something like "You can be gay and still be a hard bastards, look at Ronnie Kray". So it's not that they're worried about being gay, they're worried about being feminine.
I know, it just doesn't make sense to me why people think being gay is so feminine. I totally get why a guy doesn't want to seem feminine, but I dont think that is the reason. Beacause it seems even the straight guys are slowly becoming more feminine nowadays anyway.
Statistically, gay people are more expressive. They are more open to showing feelings through art, attire, interaction, and speech. Society has long pushed the idea that men shouldn't be emotional or expressive. "If your mom and dad get shot, you should be Bruce Wayne. Don't show your emotion to others in public because it's a sign of weakness."
It's hard to change an entire generation's viewpoint when they've been brought up being taught the opposite. However, being expressive -- showing your emotions to others -- is not weakness. It takes courage to let people in. No one wants other people to think that something is wrong in their lives. Everyone is so concerned with how they are perceived.
This is natural. Humans are social. We desire to be accepted. The sad part is that we expect others to accept us when we don't even accept ourselves. Insecurity has been construed as weakness. Boys are taught early on that men shouldn't need help. Everyone needs help. Everyone has something they cannot do. Everyone has something they can do that those around them cannot.
At the end of the day, though, I know that there is only one thing that I can do better than anyone else on this planet, and that is to be myself. And I do it well. I have no one to apologize to for that.
I agree that guys should not hide emotions intentionally to seem masculine. The idea that that is a masculine thing needs to go away. But some people are getting to over run with emotions and sort of overcorrecting themselves. So now you have people that everything is based on feelings and they need to protest for rights the second they don't get what they want. And if 'being yourself' inhibits the lives of others, we have an issue.
I have a gay friend I have known for 30 years I always wondered why he likes sucking penis then last week we got high and he took his pants off he's penis was over 9" long and thick I was in a daze I couldn't stop licking and sucking his penis he came three times in my mouth over the night I still can't believe how much I love having his delicious penis in my mouth.
I honestly have no idea how to go about correcting this. We can try as best as we can to educate people, but ultimately it is up to them to choose their own actions. Personally, I can just shut off my emotions whenever it gets too overwhelming. I can calm down instantly and logically think my way through any situation I have come across. I believe that emotions are necessary to understand how people feel, but acting on them is not usually the wisest choice.
It’s because they are secretly gay. Look at all these right wing politicians screaming that being gay is bad. Then their caught blowing strangers in some public restroom. It’s cause while they scream that being gay is bad. In the back of their mind they are screaming god I want dick won’t someone fuck me in the face I need dick.
You hit it in the head it would blow your mind if you knew how many straight guys are begging and dreaming wishing they could suck a delicious penis everyday.
That is indeed the reason why some guys are homophobes. It's called overcompensation, and there's research that indicates it's a significant factor for some men who hate gay men and the very idea of homosexuality:
https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/homophobes-might-be-hidden-homosexuals/
I am straight. Not even a little gay or even curious. I believe my rear is there for only one reason, and not for anybodies finger, penis or any other object. The only finger I have ever had in there, was for a prostate examination. I don't mind gay people, I even have gay friends, but don't force your ideas on me.
Dont flatter yourself mate because I doubt anyone wants to go anywhere near your crusty old hole. You most likely have bad hygiene and a flabby ugly arse anyway. You have gay friends? I highly doubt that. I wouldn't go near you with a barge pole. I can smell the pig ignorance emanating off you from here.
whoa... Its really weird to see how popular this division is getting. straight hatred coming from equality people. People like you help to ruin our cause. There is nothing wrong with being strictly straight just as there is nothing wrong with being strictly gay! lets all please practice what we preach and spread love, not division!
WTF are you on about? The guy was clearly baiting with intentionally homophobic trolling comments. Go back to your corner. Who are you? His finger puppet no doubt.
I could see how you might think its baiting I suppose with the topic at hand. Nothing he said was explicitly homophobic. everyone seems so quick tempered to fight fire with fire these days. It sure doesn't shine bright on us, Even in this comment the lack of interest in civil communication is evident as is your ability/desire to even begin to comprehend another views.
The left used to bring arguments forward with critical thinking at the utmost importance, intellect, common sense , compassion, more and more the left seems to be diluting to this....... and its quite frankly sad imo, we are better than that, you are better than that.
Ive only got one "finger" on here and this opinion is coming from life long democrat/liberal. nor have I ever interacted with the user currently at debate.
Its fine for you to disagree with anything, but communication and empathy is key as well as care to read more than 144 characters at a time while seeking understanding .. I literally showed this comment thread to my friends here at the house because i wanted opinions on whether i was being fair, one of them a gay liberal arts teacher and they ALL agreed that you and that other commenter are being incredibly unreasonable. take it as you will...its not about being right or wrong. I urge you to evaluate the values of peace, the gay rights movement, liberals, and actually embody them instead of falling prey to this unfortunately ever more common narrow minded version of the once freedom loving gay rights activist and liberals... where you see things just like this, insults, closed minds, no desire for discussion..ect.. its sad ... please join us all again in the name of peace! you change minds/ open doors by making friends not enemies. thanks
Debatable. People worry they are secretly gay because people joke about them being gay. And that thought horrifies them many times, do you have an idea as to why that is?
well then they arent straight then, many people get joked around being gay at some point in their lives, even i have despite me not being so i just laugh
now if the person is gay and they dont want anyone to know they havent stepped out of the closet yet, they are scared but should just accept who they are
If you fear being gay you aren't straight??? Gosh I hope I am misunderstabding you and your not that fucking retarded! If I fear I have some rare ilness I was born with, does that mean I secrectly have it??? I used to work in a pizza kitchen with 12 to 15 other college and high school guys and they made made so many gay jokes all the time. Pretty much everyone took ofense to them in some capacity, if they did not, the jokes would not be popular to make. Were all the guys I worked with gay. Statistically speaking that is super extrememly unlikely.
wow dumbass they are scared of the factors of being gay that could happen i.e family will abandon them/shame them, bullied by other kids, they may lose friends etc
im not saying they are scared of being gay they are scared of what can happen if they tell people so they dont want anyone to know
/facepalm
I don't fear being gay!
When I was young I feared prison because I didn't want to be forced married to bubba, but that's different.
Things are different now but when I was in school being gay was taught to be very wrong and sick. I don't think strait guys fear gay as much as they fear what others would do. When I went to school if someone was thought of as being gay they would be beaten, bullied and harassed relentlessly... Kids can be so cruel
You are so right nothing better than sucking hard penis.try it once you be back.
Bull shit! Why don't you give a serious response now? How about that???
Sooooooo, thoughts and comments are only welcome if you believe them? Ok, gotcha. Thanks for playing, we have some nice consolation prizes backstage.
Your thoughts are welcomed, but if they are as stupid as what you commented, than I have the right to call you a retarded waste of semen. Luckily for you I'm pretty sure your joking, even if you won't admit it.
You would not believe the amount of claimed "straight men" who enjoy sex with men. I would imagine there are more that just wont take the step to do so. So my comment is not as stupid as you want to believe.
So if you dont like what i got to say, well then fuck off and block me.
Have a nice evening!
although its most likely a joke , it is a real answer, and statistically im sure there are male humans that exist who may feel that way, they may shun there gay feelings or be scared of being perceived/called gay maybe because of religion or whatever and so therefore scared to think they'd enjoy it. Like they may see it to be a hedonistic sin to fall into the temptation or whatever. By no means would i say is a majority answer to your question, but open your mind a bit there is more than a hundred right answers to your question becasuse people as a whole always have a wide range of reasons for doing or thinking what they do... some less popular but id argue this guys joke is a reason for at least someone out there in this big world. NOT saying its a good reason ...just could be a real one for someone
Yeah, that could be responsible for maybe, maybe 1%, but stating it as the only thing in your reply to the question I asked, is pretty fucking stupid. As far as him joking, well, some people joke on serious posts I make and some poeple reply on my funnier posts and take them too seriosly. Not sure what can be done about that. But if he is joking, why are you defending him? If I know he is joking, than my insult of him is also a joke.
I'm assuming everyone has gone through middle school yes? What was the biggest insult you can say to another man? You're a fag, you are gay.
A straight guy doesnt want to keep confirming with their friends that they are straight as I assume gay men do the same.
I have been tempted for year to suck cock. I find it an extremely tempting proposition. I am straight and the reason is I fear ostracism from other guys. I have always wanted to fit but it has caused lot of problems too. No one knows the ideal path.
Get over what other people may say or think dude suck a penis its not that big deal I promise you will love it I wish I had a good friend we could pleasure each other I don't really want to be butt rammed but if a friend let me suck his penis my ass is his anytime got to give to live.
It's all to do with masculinity. Boys are taught to be strong and manly and this defines the personality of a lot of men.
To somehow challenge their masculinity is to challenge their whole persona. And it might be scary.
Evolutionary speaking of a strong make showed weakness, other males were there to ridicule or even fight him for his dominion. Women also primarily valued and in some sense still do on average, a man who is strong, manly, and can defend, take care of them.
But obviously not all men are afraid. And it's not like being gay must mean you're weak.
What I'm saying is 'factually incorrect'? Please show me the facts. You can not objectivly measure how masucline somebody is. Also, my last comment was a question I asked you, not a statment I firmly believe. If you think I am judgmental just for asking a question, you are getting offended to damn easily. Also, you seem to contradict yourself a little. You said gay men express their feministic qualities more, but you don't think they are less masculine. Something does not add up. Doesn't being or acting more feminine mean you are less masculine and vice versa? Please explain.
I'm not sure I agree, but it depends on what things we consider feminine. But I think it is reasonable to say that straight men are more masculine than gay guys. So maybe being gay is not nessecarily feminine, but just less masculine?
Baha That's not reasonable at all. Straight men may be more macho but not more masculine. Many gay men are hyper masculine. You sound like your only perception of gay men is from the media.
I've read everything you've said and your true motives have been exposed. You have no clue. I'd love to see you in a group of bears. Theyd eat you alive like the little pussy that you are. You're just another pathetic troll looking for a rise out of people by making stupid inflammatory comments. Best of luck with that. Get a life ignorant dickhead.
Most of gay guys are so clean their penis taste so delicious and drink pineapple juices make their sperm taste sweet.
Are we going to adress what I actually say or not? Can we not call me an idiot phrased 6 different ways, and instead make a sensible argument? Please?
It's not possible to have a conversation with people like you because you aren't looking for a conversation. Instead, most likely because of your own insecurities, youre out to try prove a point that you're somehow a superior example of masculinity than any gay man. But all you prove in the end with your sweeping generalisations and stereotyping of an entire community of millions of people is that you're ignorant. The question I will leave you to ask yourself is why do you even care? Are you really that insecure in your masculinity that you need to put down others to make yourself feel better? I suggest you get with some of your straight buds and fight it out to see who is the bigger man because gay men have zero fucks to give about your ridiculous immature views and frailties.
For me personally it's Identity. I don't want to be called anything I'm not, not because I'm afraid of it but just because It would be an incorrect portrait of my identity.
Also some identity's do unfortunately get a lot of hatred or are even used as an insult such as being called "gay" so it could be that when people misidentify you as something you are not, and the misidentification is a group that receives a fair bit of discrimination or the group name is even used as an insult by some, then you may feel even more inclined to correct someone and inform them of your real identity, not because you have anything at all against gays but because 1. its not who you are ..you are not gay 2. because you may know OR not know the world view on being gay from the person who is saying "you are gay" and why would anyone want anyone else to think anything negative about them based on something that isn't true about them in the first place.
example: if your old time grandpa hates gays, even though you may despise and hate his views, you may be afraid of being labeled gay by your grandpa if your grandpa seems to be hinting that he thinks you are gay, because maybe despite that your grandpa is bigot.. you still love your grandpa and would rather he like you instead of hate you based on things that are not true about you.
I'd say there is no one answer to your question, just as there is no one question to "why do people steal things" there are lots of reasons. here are some in no particular order.
-Lots of males may have negative conscious and/or subconscious views on being gay considering it is a group that obviously has historically received a lot of hate/ negative stereotypes and has only recently been more liberated. Still today, unfortunately that lives on in society. even if a man has no problems with gays he may feel uncomfortable if people thinks he's gay because that group still receives hate from a lot of people, including lots of peoples more old fashioned parents.
- Also, You can be %100 for gay rights, %100 for equality, and still think gay sex is nasty and gross and something you would never try but still have respect for people who do like it.Much like a gay guy can think straight sex is totally gross and repulsive and still respect people who do it, or foot fetish or whatever. Id argue there are A LOT of straight men who feel the former therefore they feel an urge to let people know they are straight because even though they are ok with people being gay, in their world view , they still may internally feel that gay sex is gross and its not representative of the identity they want to show.
just as if someones said " you have a foot fetish" when in truth you find feet to be gross, you being afraid of everyone thinking you have a foot fetish doesn't mean you don't like people with foot fetishes or you think they don't deserve equal rights... it just means you personally think its gross and you don't want other people who might think as you do ( feet are gross/not sexual stimulating) to think this misinformation about you is true
- Ive asked questions on here and people will shout "WHY DID YOU SAY YOU WERE STRAIGHT?" or whatever. Those few fail to see on my questions, that it has nothing to with being afraid of being called gay ... It's simply Informing the people of my demographic. It's no different than saying my age or race. Obviously this isn't always the case with all post but i see it all the time.
example : if you are a man that paints his nails It would be stupid to not include your orientation in your " INN to paint your nails" question. Obviously including your sex and/ orientation or any other info you want will help the vote be accurate to what people feel is normal to your specific demographic which after all is what you are trying to measure yes?. Also as you say the " Im straight but ..." questions... that also doesn't instantly mean someone is a afraid/homophobic, it could be lots of things, but even if they are afraid it could also simply be that they aRe in a transitional phase and perhaps they aRe a bit fearful of this whole new identity or whole new potential identity, an identity that remember... unfortunately lots of people still in this modern world judge harshly upon, including some peoples "gods" and there is nothing unnatural about someone potentially having that fear and we should help them over come it if they are in the closet, or understand it if they are confused about what they want.
kind of rambling now, so wind it up. but I can think of lots of reasons why guys may be/ or appear to be afraid to be called gay. and yes for many it can simply be homophobia, but for many it can also just be identity. I don't want to be called anything I'm not, not because I'm afraid of it but just because Its an incorrect portrait of my identity.
Yep, some straight men are more masculine than others. But this idea that they should try to be more masucline than they would otherwise be, is where the problem is. Same thing with men shunning feminine qualities, the should not shun either masculine or feminine qualities, they should be themselves. Whatever they would be without any societal influence is ideal, and it so happens that hyper masuclinity is the stereotype mold that have to fit in, which results in this fear of being gay for striaght guys. That said, masucline guys shoud not try directly to be more feminine, which does happen when they connect with women somtimes. A straight guy can become more feminine without becoming more gay. So therfore guys shoukd not always associate feminine qualities with being gay. But being gay is nothing to be afraid of because it is feminine. Tge factvthat it is feminine is neither good or bad. Agree?
Hey man, good response. I am calling for equality between sexual orientation. I just thought the way you portrayed straight guys was saying they are mentally weaker or more insecure. Truth be told, being gay is something that causes insecurity, even though it should not. And society is to blame for that. But to have anything uniquely against straight guys, is something I take issue with. I'm sorry for how you have been treated, you did not deserve it in any way.
"Most straight men are basically insecure little boys pretending to be big macho men"
Really??? Have you been watching to much superheroes or what? I'm not justifying any of the judgment you recieved for being gay, that is not right. But the way you portray 'most straight men' seems rather judgmental to me. So you think all straight guys are insecure but gay guys aren't? If anything, a lot of gay guys are insecure because they are gay, at least at first. I would say that young men as a whole are insecure, not just straight guys. And some straight guys do overdo the whole masuclinity thing, but a large chunk of them also are just being who they are.
I've never been afraid that I might be gay. From the time I first started having sexual feelings, they were always for girls and women, and that was just the way it was.
When I was sixteen, I was in the hospital for about a week after an operation, and male nurse made it a point to sit down next to my bed and spend time talking to me. This was in the early seventies when homosexuality was still an unfamiliar thing for the vast majority of people, and I was a very naïve kid. Even so, I eventually picked up on the fact that the nurse was interested in other men. My only reaction was curiosity about why he felt like that. In retrospect, it's clear that he was hitting on me and I recall him suggesting that I could come over to the place that he shared with another man (or other men) after I left hospital. I didn't feel insulted, threatened or disgusted, and I wondered what he had in mind for a few seconds, but then I just politely declined the invitation. I didn't see a lot of him after that.
It seems to me that if someone is terrified of being gay, they've probably had feelings that are contrary to what their upbringing has taught them is the norm and "right", and they're determined to bury them deeper.
It would be bad enough for a high school sports coach to call someone a pussy, although it would be par for the course for such muscle-brained Neanderthals. It's shocking that a teacher would use that sort of language in a classroom when speaking to a five year-old.
I'd like to believe that things are better these days, but that's probably unrealistic. Teachers are people, and lots of people with paper qualifications and good interview techniques are dimwitted sadists. And kids haven't changed: there will always be children who are cruel to other kids because they're treated badly at home, because they know deep down that they don't fit neatly into the accepted norms and overcompensate, because they're frantically trying to fit in with whatever the cool crowd is doing, and because they lack empathy, are emotionally immature and basically stupid.
School is sheer hell for lots of kids. It's good that you've found the emotional strength to move on to a better place.
I would disagree. Don't you see a lot of straight guys defending themselves? Haven't you been around long enough on this site to see all the I'm straight but.... posts? There have been so damn many! It happens to many guys I know in real life also.
The irony of what you are saying is that gay men are actually very courageous strong people because they have had to stand up to a hateful world and say fuck you this is who I am and if you don't like it you can go to hell. That takes bravery, strength and wisdom. Whereas many straight men just live behind a facade of stereotypical external masculine characteristics never wanting to expose themselves as actual emotional human beings with fears and concerns like the rest of us. Despite their great efforts to appear "masculine" and fear of being perceived as weak they end up coming across as a bit pathetic really. It must get very tiring worrying about how you're perceived and making sure not to do anything "feminine". A "real" man would take a stand against the status quo. Stand up for the underdog. It's way more impressive than strutting around flexing your tattooed muscles pretending and wishing you were an alpha and hating fags.
A man who is completely comfortable within himself has no need to defend against the opinions of others and no need to attack or denigrate those who he believes to be weaker. A strong and wise man knows we are perhaps different but we are all equal.
Well I dont have tattoos and I dont strut around. You said alphas attack and denigrate gays but you attacked alphas in a way. We can agree to disagree. Plus my wife really doesnt like fruity guys. She gets turned off by feminine behavior. The feminine behavior just doesnt appeal to me at all. I dont have anything against people who are feminine. My favorite boss ive had at work was gay.
You speak truth, Asatchi.
I think the term "toxic masculinity" sums up what you describe, and it isn't only poisonous to women and relationships; it's harmful to the man himself and the other men he spends time with.
I'm confused. So are you saying that liking guys is feminine and not gay? Or are you just replacing guys don't want to be gay, with guys don't want to be feminine? Or is it because the stereotype of gays is that they are feminine and guys think that is bad? Your making this complicated.
Im just saying why i wouldnt want to be gay. I dont want to come off feminine and weird.
So you have a desperate need to conform to the cultural norm where you live, and you're obsessively interested in how others perceive you?
So if you believe feminine is weak you must therefore think women are weak. It's a sexist attitude. You obviously don' realise that gay and femininity are not the same thing.
I see. I'm not sure its fair to say gays are feminine and weird. Depends how you define feminine a little I guess, but not weird. But if that' what you think then that's cool.
This is a misconception. You are equating being gay to being effeminate. If you actually knew gay people and didn't just have an image in your mind of them from the media you would know this is not true. Also this fear of being effeminate just shows that you are insecure about your own masculinity.