Why do people treat sexual anatomy of others, even friends, as being gross?

I would like to know why people treat the sexual anatomy of people that share their gender as being so gross. Why is it disgusting to even think about your friends reproductive organs but it's perfectly fine to shake their hand or hug? Why is there such a harsh and distinct line drawn between the sexualized and non-sexualized areas of the body? If it's a stranger then I can understand, but why is this so even with close friends?

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Comments ( 80 )
  • fakeaccount2

    Got added to the sex offender's registry did ye?

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    • Lmfao.

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    • Ascelin

      Haha no, I'm just taking a human sexuality studies class and I have a painfully modest roommate. Those combine with the fact that I'm far from modest to make me question the origin of this generally understood, unspoken social more.

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      • fakeaccount2

        Some people are just shy. the fact that a "human sexual studies class" even exists should prove your post isnt necessarily true..ive known a few straigh guys who openly talk about and show each other's dicks and stuff like that.

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        • Ascelin

          Yes, it is a broad generalization but in my experience it seems to be the norm, I'd be willing to bet that more guys are modest than the alternative.

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      • RoseIsabella

        I was registered for a Human Sexuality as well as a World Religion class at Lone Star College, before all Hell broke loose.

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        • Ascelin

          It's a really interesting class, especially if your professor is constantly making jokes and puns.

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          • RoseIsabella

            I still have the textbook. I really wish that Hurricane Harvey hadn't of happened. Oh well, at least I left my stupid ex. I really love liberal arts!

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  • _Mehhhh_

    I don't think it's so much the thought of your friends, or family members, having genitals which is "gross". It's just thinking about them in any kind of sexual context.

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    • vigorousjammer

      I would agree with this.
      For some people, I'm sure seeing body parts which are deemed "sexual" automatically makes sexual thoughts run through their mind.
      Perhaps not explicit ones, but it at the very least could evoke a sexual notion, whether they wanted it to or not.

      I'm sure this isn't true for all people, either, but I might argue that it is true for the majority.

      It's these vague sexual images that begin to pop into one's mind that can be deemed as either desirable or not depending on one's sexual preference.

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  • nikkiclaire

    My friends and I all experimented with each other. Some were shy, some weren't, but none of us disgusted, just curious. The shy friends would feign disgust in order to conceal their shyness that's all. My girlfriend was like this and we have discussed it quite a bit.

    I think pretty much everyone is curious but acting disgusted allows us to hide this out of fear.

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    • insanebotv21

      Not everyone's disgust is feigned... If you actually want to know how it feels odds are you're at least partially attracted to the object you're squeezing. I can tell you with certainty that i have no curiosity in the regards of touching some buff guy's dong. In fact, i would say the premise disgusts me. And just for the record, sex is not an "experiment", "exploration", or "conquest". Neither is fiddling with the diddle.(i say it that way because it rhymes) (insecure edit)

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      • nikkiclaire

        Some idiot always has to say "not everyone". Can we all just agree that's implied in anything ffs.

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        • insanebotv21

          Yeah, but you literally said "everyone", which is directly stating the opposite. i can edit shit too

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          • nikkiclaire

            Wow, your brilliance is blinding.

            What I actually said was "pretty much everyone." This is a phrase in a language I use called the English language. The "pretty much" part implies "not all".

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            • insanebotv21

              Did you... even read your comment? Your sarcasm lacks an accurate foundation for the snide to work with... "The shy friends would feign disgust in order to conceal their shyness that's all"
              "I think pretty much everyone is curious but acting disgusted allows us to hide this out of fear"
              First off, that comment is grammatical Swiss cheese. Secondly, "I think everyone" says "I think everyone" so shut the fuck up about my "brilliance" you sarcastic bitch.

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    • RoseIsabella

      I can say in all honesty I don't want to see another woman's cooch up close and personal.

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      • Ascelin

        One of the reasons that this question is so difficult to answer is because of the social sanctions placed on people that violate societal norms. That's why in the gay community the tale of a man that was married with kids and beat up the gay guy in high school only to later come out as gay himself is fairly common. The socialization driven into people's minds from a young age have a profound impact on our opinions that often times cannot be changed (e.g. opinion of cannibalism), go unnoticed by the person holding the opinion, and result in people denying themselves their desires on a subconscious level until some time later in life when the urges resurface (e.g. Caitlin Jenner). Studies have also shown that homophobic men are more likely to have homosexual desires than non-homophobic men, proving that sometimes we don't even know what we really want. (Not that I'm saying you're lesbian, just that you can never take someone's self reported sexual attraction at face value)

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        • RoseIsabella

          Well, it's also not my, your or anyone else's job to question another person's sexual orientation. I choose to take other people's self proclaimed sexual orientation at face value, because it's really none of my business. I believe that we all have free will, and thereby it is the individual's responsibility to be genuine to his or her own self.

          Yeah sure, there are plenty of people, especially males, who are homophonic, and end up actually coming out as gay themselves, but that is not my issue, and there is a flip side to this as well. What about the young person who is in touch with his or herself, comes out as gay and ends up being sent to a special therapist or being forced to participate in church activities to "pray the gay away"? I personally think both scenarios are hella fucked up.

          On a side note my stupid, psycho ex-boyfriend's niece is a lesbian, and her parents tried very hard to "fix her", and now she's hella fucked up. Sure, there is something to be said about socialization, but I'm happy to be from the fourth largest city in the country which happens to have a large, and vibrantly active gay community.

          I say what I mean and mean what I say so I tend to take people at their word. People owe it to themselves to find out who they are on their own. I don't think it's such a travesty for people to deny themselves their desires, and a perfect example of that would be cannibalism as you mentioned earlier, because quite frankly I would rather starve to death than eat human flesh or that of a dog or cat, end of story.

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          • Bazinga

            You sound very uncomfortable in your skin. Why don't you go to a nudist resort and chill out. Nobody is going to stick their cooch in your face. It's all about non-sexual body acceptance. It is also therapy that people like you need.

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            • RoseIsabella

              You're being really judgemental here. Not everyone needs to fit into the boxes in your head that you've made for them.

              Also, I think your just trying to get my goat, because you're only tolerant of people who agree with you.

              None of what you've said pertains directly to my comment.

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          • Ascelin

            You're making the mistake of confusing sexual attraction and orientation, which don't always align. Claim whatever sexual orientation you want and I won't question it, but that doesn't mean I won't question your sexual attraction. I've met several men that identify as straight but their bodies indicated something very different around me in the locker room (not that I care).
            Yes, I agree that conversion therapy is a horrible human rights violation, and it is treated as such in many areas. In parts of America it is an offense that can be easily prosecuted, encouraging churches to practice it illegally out of their basements. And I'm not surprised that your relative was damaged mentally by the "therapy", studies have proven that not only is conversion therapy completely ineffective, but it also increases the "patient's" chances of developing depression and committing suicide. That's particularly frightening in the gay community, which already has an astronomical suicide rate compared to the general population.
            And the question here isn't the morality of an act like cannibalism, it's the origin of the morality of it. In this case, it would be western society. I doubt that you or anybody else for that matter would hold the same opinion (or at least hold it as strongly) were you born to one of the few cannibalistic tribes still left in existence.

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            • RoseIsabella

              I honestly think my ex's niece would be a much healthier person mentally had her parents not fixated so much on her sexuality. She is now completely obsessed with her own love life, and can't really hold down a job, nevermind ever going to college.

              Her parents did eventually accept her being gay, but she seems to have a strong attraction to needy and unhealthy girls, and relationships herself. When she meets a nice girl who has something going for herself she doesn't know how to act.

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          • insanebotv21

            San Fransico?

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      • nikkiclaire

        That's perfectly fine, it just hasn't been my experience.

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        • TheMightyOz

          It's true. If you violate social norms by having a limp dick, you are cursed. Cruel laughter, isolation, and female hatred follow you wherever you go. And, you know you did nothing to deserve any of it. You must keep your condition secret, or you will become a target of violence. Nobody understands patheticness like I do.

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          • RoseIsabella

            Just get some oral skills.

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            • TheMightyOz

              I've done that. It works for one date, and then I get dumped. I could be wrong, but your judgements seem to indicate that you have a very shallow understanding of the catharsis resulting from sexual completeness.

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          • nikkiclaire

            Violence? How so?

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        • RoseIsabella

          The last woman who hit on me was a drunken stripper at a Tiki bar in Las Vegas about three or four years ago, and all I could think was how do I get her the fuck off of me with being rude or insulting. I don't remember how I did it, but I did. I was much happier when a guy who was probably a drug dealer invited me to go out into the parking lot and smoke some herb with with bunch of people. The stripper was one of the people smoking, and she appeared to not be upset in any way so I was happy with that. I would much rather smoke weed than deal with other women who are feeling amorous toward me, because it grosses me out. I don't care if the women are beautiful, because I'm just not into chicks. Not all women are bisexual.

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          • Ascelin

            I'm not trying to be offensive, though it may come off that way, but your refusal of one woman doesn't mean that you're strictly attracted to men (Once again, this isn't in reference to sexual orientation but rather sexual attraction). Studies have actually shown that straight identifying women respond even more strongly to non-heterosexual porn than men of either orientation. The study actually showed that it went one step further, to even being aroused by sex between monkeys. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/15482445
            So your anecdote isn't all that insightful on the matter. It doesn't prove that you wouldn't enjoy a sexual relationship with a woman under certain circumstances.

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            • RoseIsabella

              I think what's important here, and what you are failing to see is the fact that I am not interested in interacting with other women sexually. I'm a very firm believer in consent, and part of consent is respecting that monosyllabic word that is a complete sentence, respecting the word no. I think trying to convince a heterosexual woman that she just might be attracted to other women, or that she ought to explore something in which she has no interest is just as offensive and disrespectful as when someone tells a gay man that he really ought to try women, or that it's wrong or shameful to be a homosexual man. There is an awful double standard today perpetuated by society that lipstick lesbians and bisexual women are wonderful, should be celebrated and that all women are secretly bisexual, but gay men are wrong, gross or disgusting.

              I'm not attracted to other women, and oftentimes I actually find the ways in which many women interact with each other socially, and on a platonic level to be annoying and distasteful. To be completely honest I do respect lesbians in their chosen lifestyle, but I'm not open to experimentation, because I only care for intimacy within a relationship, and women are not appealing to me physically, emotionally or romantically.

              I'm glad that you have taken a college level course on human sexuality, but it doesn't give you the right to infer that I ought to be anything other than what I am.

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  • RoseIsabella

    Why are you asking this question? Did you get into some kind of trouble? I detect a big ole chip on your shoulder there. Did you offend someone? Did someone set a boundary with you, and leave you feeling booty hurt?

    Please share your feelings with the group.

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    • Ascelin

      I already answered that question above.

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  • Nickvey

    all pussy looks different so most women think their puss is the oddball. seen it a million times . simple logic. while most men will fuck any pussy one time some are never coming back for seconds because it looked like the 1987 alien predators mouth . just what the hell was that down there ? i think it had teeth. Females can even get plastic surgery on their junk. think about that for a moment. ok moments over. no need to make me throw up.

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    • Ascelin

      Haha yeah, it's called a labiaplasty and it's a procedure that's been increasing in popularity quite a bit since the rise of the free porn era.

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      • RoseIsabella

        Porn is bad for the mind. Now the Kama Sutra or the Joy of Sex those are some books!

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        • Ascelin

          Now I'm not necessarily disagreeing with your first point, but there haven't been any successful attempts at studying the effects of pornography on mental health by a non-biased group. They've actually tried several times, but can't find a substantial enough group of men that haven't watched porn to use as a control. At least not in America or Europe. It wouldn't be all that difficult to find such a control group in a heavily censored country like North Korea or China, the problem then is permission from the govt. and the ethics of the experiment.

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          • RoseIsabella

            Well, sex addiction is rampant thanks to internet pornography.

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            • Ascelin

              And caffeine addiction is rampant thanks to the widespread consumption of coffee, and yet caffeine has been proven to have some health benefits in moderate doses. And you're making the assumption of a causal relationship between porn/sex addiction when all that can be stated with any measure of reliability is that there is a correlative relationship. Perhaps the widespread sex addiction is actually due to the loosening of societal sanctions in response to, as well as the glorification of, premarital sex. This relaxation of societal sanctions could also explain why porn is more widespread today, because it isn't considered a violation of social norms like it was in generations passed, making more people willing to indulge in it's pleasures without guilt.

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  • redrainbow22

    Because straight people are straight.

    It's pretty self-explanatory.

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    • Ascelin

      This is just about the most uneducated answer you could give, nice job. So the simple fact that a person is heterosexual indicates not only who they're physically attracted to but now you've magically changed the definition to include "obligatory repulsion of the same gender, but only certain parts". Don't bother commenting if you're just wasting space with uneducated answers that are about as insightful as a dog's opinion on the subject.

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      • JellyBeanBandit

        That was uncalled for. He wasn't being homophobic with his answer, he just thinks that if you're not attracted to a certain sex then you'd have an aversion to their sexual organs. I'm not sure I agree with that myself, but it's not a bad argument.

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        • Ascelin

          It's a fundamentally flawed argument because it's not answering the question. It's like someone asking a question and saying "because it just is". The question doesn't involve the concept of sexuality, it's actually about the opposite, about why we overly sexualize things as a society. I suppose I was a bit harsh though, I guess I have a habit of assuming the worst of people, my apologies.

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      • redrainbow22

        Yes. Straight people are straight.

        We've known this for quite some time.

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        • Ascelin

          You don't seem to get the point, sadly enough. Please explain why bisexuality was the norm and not the exception in ancient Rome and Greece, then. Or why non-heterosexuality was widely accepted (and practiced) prior to the spread of the abrahamic religions and their opinions on the morality of it. That's not including historical accounts of non sexual activities that would inevitably require physical contact with another's genitals, e.g. Greco-Roman wrestling.

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          • redrainbow22

            I'm not even debating lol

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            • Bazinga

              You are a very ignorant little girl. You need to clean your house in the nude. It's for your own good.

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