Why do i not know what love is ?

5 Comments

Greetings.

Most of my life, I had never been asking myself this question, but usually, when I'm speaking to people and it comes to love and relationships, I feel like I'm missing something in life - like I'm out of this world : love.

It's not that I don't know what love is technically speaking. It's just that I don't know how it feels. I feel like it doesn't touch me. I don't feel like I would do anything for someone else, like I would fall into depression if I had no chance to be in a relationship with them - I just don't know, this doesn't seem to happen to me.

I've never been in a relationship except a kid crush something like 8 years ago. Lot of people I know have gotten to deal with such a situation : relationship. Whether it was true love or an amourette, whether it ended up well or bad, they've all, at some point of their life, known that thing. Love.

Why do I not feel it ? Am I expecting something that will never come to me ? Most people tell me it'll probably happen for me like for everyone else, but I just feel confused about this.

It's even weirder considering that I know what sexual attraction is. I feel it just as the other guy. But love ? The feeling ? I'm not seeking it, but it just seems I should already have met it at this point of my life. What is this exactly ?

From my point of view, it seems like there are very few, if not at all, persons like that. Every one of them I've been asking the question to always had at a moment a relationship in their life. This is not my case. I don't understand !

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Comments ( 5 )
  • Tealights
    6 years ago

    1. Love has many different forms. Friendship, romantic relationships, parent-child, and more. All love is are various deep emotions driven by selflessness in one word. You're happy when you see that person safe and happy. You're sad when that person is hurt or in trouble. You're angry and protective when you see that person being harassed, and more.

    2. Relationships come in stages: Infatuation -> Accepting -> Proper communication/understanding -> Love. As much as movies want us to believe, love is never instantaneous. It takes time to grow the more you learn and accept who you're with at the time, and whether they're compatible with you. However, if you're not compatible with who you're dating, the relationship should end with the infatuation stage (when the sex is boring, and the person seems really annoying).

    3. Most of the relationships you've seen around you are just infatuations, because real love is much calmer, powerful, and not as flashy. When you see an actual couple in love, you can see and feel it just in the way they talk to each other. However, being infatuated isn't a bad thing, but don't mistake it for actual love.

    You also have to take into consideration of your sexuality and how your own attraction works. Since you experience lust, you're not asexual, but you could be someone who needs to develop a deep emotional connection with someone to feel a deeper level of attraction that's worth exploring. If it makes you feel better, just see it as you not wearing your heart on your sleeve, not just anyone can pique your interest.

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    • _Rainbow_
      6 years ago

      I have to thank you for the answer you gave me, but I do feel like my heart as you say is hidden behind something like a three meters thick wall, because I've never really felt infatuation as you say. Not to mention no one ever asked me out, but that doesn't really change things. I have no crush, and I've never truly had one during my middle school years. It's complicated to explain how this is. When I see someone, I can tell if I find them attractive or not, sometimes they turn me on, or I just appreciate their beauty. But there's not the "love" feeling behind it - caring for that person, wanting to be with them, etc. It may just be that no one has touched my heart yet, but I don't know - I feel emotionally late compared to others, you see ?

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    • JonathanOo
      6 years ago

      Great answer:)

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  • samiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
    6 years ago

    Love is finding someone who makes u happy and who you want to spend time with.

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  • Ratmanforelife
    6 years ago

    Love is a rose but you better not pick it. It only grows when its on the vine. Love is a rose.

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