What's going on with me

7 Comments

Thank heavens for this platform 🙏❤️

Anyway hey .. I'll make this as short and succinct as I can . I've been dating this guy for close to two years now , I've never been in a " serious " r/s . I basically take him and what we have seriously , I don't wonder off or anything . It's weird cos I didn't like him at first , barely thought anything of it , literally had to down some courage juice for months on end cos he wasn't my type . Anyway, in the past I never took anyone serously or genuinely made an effort - but it's different with .... Let's just call him chase . I care and we talk about our future together etc ...
However , recently I've been feeling like there's no point in the r/s and I force myself and mind not to expect anything anymore.
I find that I can be slightly needy sometimes and he's so caught up at work we .... We do speak but it's very bleh - it's not nice chats , if that makes sense . So ever since I've detached myself from that and him a little I feel like there's no point anymore .

I know my story sounds boring , but I need a little push / clarity in making a decision .

I feel like I'm holding on just because I've gotten used to the company and my family don't live im doing college overseas, my family don't live in the same country as me - so I figured he was the perfect distraction at first but now it's sort of .... Dissolving , if that even makes sense ?

Really sorry about the long granny story - I'm hoping someone can share some advise :)

Thanks :) xx

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Comments ( 7 )
  • Tealights
    6 years ago

    You tried to fill a void by dating this guy. Relationships aren't meant to distract you, keep you busy, cure loneliness, etc, especially with someone you weren't even attracted to from the start. What's happening now is not marriage lol, but the honeymoon phase is over and it's becoming more obvious that you two have little to no compatibility.

    However, despite doing this, you remained loyal and gave your mistake a chance, which is great. You gave a relationship your all for the first time. When you're ready, end the relationship and try to learn as much as possible from this experience, because it wont end here.

    Lastly, the reason I say end it, because the foundation of the relationship is unstable. This whole thing started for all the wrong reasons.

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    • Toffetruffle
      6 years ago

      Hey tealights , thank you for
      Your awesome advise, you're right .... I should break up with him , it isn't fair for me to keep him dangling for my own selfish needs , distraction etc ....
      I'll be very very very honest , I've thought of cheating countless of times ... It's crazy! But I know deep down its obviously wrong and He doesn't deserves that pain. But I've stopped myself obviously from thinkjng or wondering off in any way !
      And thats when I know a part of me cares for him. But recently I can't help but feel the way I do and you're absolutely right - the foundation is crumby and it's not gonna last . I just .... I'm just a pussy who can't deal with letting go ....

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      • Tealights
        6 years ago

        No worries, you don't have to let go right away. Sip on that courage juice, and do it when you feel ready lol.

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  • RoseIsabella
    6 years ago

    ... "courage juice", huh? Hmm... yeah, that's definitely not a good sign. Sounds like you're using this guy to fill a void in your life and pacify the loneliness inside you.

    Don't be afraid to be alone.

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  • nikkiclaire
    6 years ago

    This is what I picture marriage to be.

    If you want excitment then sorry you've progressed past that stage already. Others may know but the only thing I'd know to do would be to find another guy.

    You deserve fun, excitment and amazing sex. Or you can get married and chill out to this ho hum excistance.

    I perrsonally am not ready for that and it doesn't sound like you are either. Time to break up.

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    • Toffetruffle
      6 years ago

      Hey nikkiclaire - man if this is what marriage is like ... I'm far from ready . I thought I was .... But I don't think so !
      Yeah , I do ! I wanna have all those things but I'm such a selfish person - I constantly need someone there ... To fill my own emptiness , which sucks ... Bcos I don't think I have strong feelings for this person .
      Sometimes j feel like oh my gosh , I love you I wanna spend the rest of my life with you .... But then most times I'm thinking ... Is this even right ?!?
      You know what I mean ? And I feel so lost , so desperate ..... But it's funn cos I know the answer deep down inside , yet I'm still not acting on my decision or what I know I need to do - which frustrates me so much !
      - but thank you for your words !:)

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      • nikkiclaire
        6 years ago

        Did you break up with him yet or are you still hanging on?

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