What is the worst food crime you've ever seen committed?

The worst one I've seen was when I've seen people put cheese or ketchup on noodles ( noodles like lo mein ) ( personally if Uncle Roger saw that he'd wok slap that out of them. ), the second one I've seen is someone dipping hotdogs in lemonade which made me want to gag.

I want to hear your worst food crime you've seen someone do.

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Comments ( 23 )
  • charli.m

    My cousin used to mix tomato sauce into rice until it was pink slop.

    He also use to have vegemite milkshakes.

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    • pastafather

      My wife tried 2 tell me it's not ok to put mountain dew in pasta child's bottle.

      I told he he's gonna grow up to be a nascar driver and drive the mountain dew car. Then I pushed her down the stairs for trying to tell me how to parent. That's a food crime in this house.

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      • S0UNDS_WEIRD

        I'm dying because I have a _real_ story almost just like this. This is dead serious not a joke.

        So you know how when an ex gets with an utter downgrade, on one hand it makes you feel good because you're unreasonably superior to what they're stuck with, but on the other it makes you feel shitty because you start contemplating the fact that the person who had the taste to pick this person also picked you?

        My ex ended up getting with the pizza guy after we broke up. It's fine that he was a pizza guy. I'm not ragging on that, but he also had a bunch of ICP tattoos and fit the description of a "Kyle" to a tee. If you don't know what a Kyle is, they're guys who are likely working on their skateboarding career, always drinking energy drinks, and punching holes in walls due to their anger issues. That's the stereotype.

        She ends up having a wonderful, thankfully unaffected baby with this guy. She calls me one day and says they had a huge fight because she caught him pouring a sip of Monster energy drink in his bottle. He insisted she was being a bitch because it was just a sip. Later on he ended up getting pissed, breaking the TV, punching a bunch of other shit, and quit his job in retaliation so he'd have more time to smoke weed and play videogames for his mental health because of all the trouble _she_ was giving him.

        That poor woman must really be asking where her life went so wrong and questioning her decisions. I genuinely feel bad for her.

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        • pastafather

          Hahahaha that's the thing, when you choose to rip on people that behave this way it becomes apparent very quickly that the satire is much to plasable. There are really opinions floating around on here that the capitol poop smearers were absolute heros, not to mention the slew of homerotic trump posts following his "victory" against Hillary (I'm guessing this was before you signed up for our little 9th circle of hell) lauding the sexual, masculine presence of that orange spheroid.

          I'm sorry that happened to you. Cheating is one of the most painful things to experience, but I'm sure there's at least some small masochistic comfort in seeing her life trajectory pan out exactly as you would expect the moment she let a juggalo touch her lady parts.

          It's obviously sad, knowing that there is a child involved and that ICP father is now a thing that exists, but I don't think, given what happened, it's not particularly evil to laugh about that.

          I hereby grant you one Nelson from The Simpons "haaaaa haaaaa"

          Energy drinks have taurine, caffeine, electrolytes. it's what babies CRAVVVEEEE!!

          & who cheats on danny phantom, the fuck ;)

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          • S0UNDS_WEIRD

            I left a longer comment but I felt it was best to leave the TLDR version. Basically she suffered BPD and suffered the so-called idealization and devaluation cycle abnormally strongly even for a sufferer. So I was only Danny Phantom 90% of the time and the rest I might be a possible serial killer or even a Trump supporter or something.

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  • donteatstuffoffthesidewalk

    i brought a frienda mine a couplea real nice steaks as a housewarm present for his new apartment

    we grilled em up only to realize he had no salt pepper or sauce barbecue or hot or otherwise in the place as hed just moved in

    only thing available was ketchup god help me

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  • Pilum

    A dude I used to go to school with would dip his chocolate rice krispie in nacho cheese all the time

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  • Cuntsiclestick

    I remember I was on my break at the Starbucks of one of the the old Targets I worked at, there was a guy who's order they got wrong.

    Instead of politely asking for it to be corrected, he started screaming at them. Then he made this weird screaming noise that sounded like he was saying "Her- Myeh" and then he chucked the cup at a 10 year old child that was walking by. The kids crying, the mother is yelling at the guy, and I'm just sitting there with the customers dumbfounded by what just happened.

    After that, the person at the Starbucks counter called AP on her walkie and I see some customers coming from the Salefloor going up to him and taking him toward the green exit doors. He seemed to think they were security because he said "I'm sorry. Please dont arrest me. I have anxiety" I'm pretty sure one of the people taking him out was the kids dad. From what I was told, they beat the shit out of him outside.

    I never did a backup shift for that Target location ever again. XD

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    • Wolf_Mama

      A perfect response, and good on that father! Anyone messing with my family can expect a whooping from me.

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  • S0UNDS_WEIRD

    Once, four people were killed by falling coconuts on the same day. As death by coconut is rare, it's believed to have actually been murder via coconut. This is a very serious food crime indeed.

    I don't think that's what you mean though. More along the lines of what you mean, some people here eat shit.

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    • dude_Jones

      Eating shit is indeed a food crime, but African cannibalism is the nastiest food crime out there.

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      • S0UNDS_WEIRD

        I would say it's the most immoral food crime out there but I don't know about the nastiest.

        I'll be honest; if there were a hypothetical situation wherein it didn't cause a death or disrespect a body, I would 100% rather eat human flesh than shit.

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        • dude_Jones

          Hmmmmm, nice counter perspective. Maybe your ancestors were wolves. If so, your point has definite merit.

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  • RoseIsabella

    I had heard about something called a beer milkshake on television as a kid. So when no one was home after school I made a beer milkshake, but it was not very good so I just gave it all to the dog, and yes, she drank it all.

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  • DADNSCAL

    When we were first married, I spent hours making Beef Stroganoff to impress my Mexican wife, and she put jalapeño chilis on it. 😝

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  • Sanara

    I think this may be an actual food dish, but macaroni with milk and sugar is pretty weird. At the moment the only thing I can think of I have seen in real life (may think of more later)

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  • 1WeirdGuy

    When me and my friends were kids once we ate at a buffet and took off running out the door when we were finished lol

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  • S0UNDS_WEIRD

    Putting cheese on noodles is really common. Thus we made macaroni and cheese. Ketchup on noodles is not a far cry from spaghetti.

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  • jethro

    Pineapple on Pizza. Dipping pizza in ranch dressing. Chocolate chips in cannoli. All the junk you put into coffee or cappuccino.

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  • thatenbydumbass

    I'm the person that does the food crimes, I add yoghurt, sugar or both to literally anything. Bread with yoghurt, cereal with yoghurt and sugar, fucking pasta with yoghurt and sugar. Once I also made bean and cheese tea just to piss my british friends off

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  • grimcookies2213

    This youtuber that I watch would always eat odd food combinations. One time, he ate tuna fish with bbq sauce and tomatoes.

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  • bbrown95

    I fixed a nice spaghetti dinner one night, only for a family friend to mix it with coleslaw and cottage cheese. Same family friend always had the weirdest concoctions for food; lasagna with pork and beans and artichokes, a peanut butter and jelly Sloppy Joe sandwich (I believe that's what it was, anyway), and some sort of weird tortilla wrap with Velveeta shells and cheese, chicken, and barbecue sauce. Basically, he'd mix all of his food together.

    I also had a classmate in high school who would mix all of his food together, including every condiment. He'd dip his chicken strips in a mixture of applesauce, barbecue sauce, ketchup, mustard, and ranch. 🤮

    I recall watching an Angry Grandpa video years ago of them trying a "sketti" recipe from Honey Boo Boo, which was I believe just noodles with a ketchup and butter mixture. It looked absolutely disgusting.

    One that's really popular but that I greatly dislike is pizza with extra cheese and less sauce, bonus points if the cheese is that nasty plastic-flavored processed shit. There's a very popular pizza place in my old hometown that uses that fake cheese crap, along with a very bland canned sauce and soggy canned vegetables, and I think it is terrible. They also had a mac and cheese pizza that was literally Kraft mac and cheese on a pizza crust. As far as extra cheese of any kind on any pizza goes, I just hate the way it wads in a ball in my mouth. It's so gross. Plus, the sauce is the best part of a pizza if you ask me. I hate it when it looks like they hardly put any sauce on my pizza.

    I think well done steak isn't even worth eating. Even if it is cooked in a way that isn't tough and dry like boot leather, it has no flavor compared to one with pink in the middle.

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  • a-curious-bunny

    Anything involving tomatoes. Anything.

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